


Rainy Seasons

by So_Ginelle



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AA, Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Ask me if you aren't sure, Demi Lovato - Freeform, I do not condone anything that happens in this fic, Inspired by a Demi Lovato Song, M/M, Please Don't Kill Me, Read the notes first please, Sober by Demi Lovato, Sobering up, Song fic, Suga helps sober Kuroo up, Triggers, drunk, most of my fics are based on a song, sober, triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-06-05 06:50:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 68,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15165002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/So_Ginelle/pseuds/So_Ginelle
Summary: Kuroo has a very addicting personality. He always has and it's been a very hard life to live. When Kuroo gets a hold on something with alcohol in it for the first time in his life, he spins out of control and becomes an alcoholic. Through some struggling and hard nights, his friends get him to sober up and he can finally go without the dangerous liquid. He had been celebrating over two years of sobriety when his best friend in the entire world gets into an accident. After everything, Kuroo gets down and ends up having a drink once more, breaking his sobriety and becoming a drunk idiot once again. His friends notice, but only one person sees how bad it is and that he needs to fix it. Sugawara decides that he is going to try to fix Kuroo and get him sober again. He falls in love in the process, but he has to keep his true feelings out of the way so Kuroo can focus on getting better.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So listen up. I was helped out by getmcrekt here on AO3 and she's incredible, so she helped give me all of these ideas. I literally thought up this idea less than a week ago and she helped me fine tune the whole thing. She was the one that helped me get this whole thing up for you all to read and enjoy.
> 
> *****This is a disclaimer!!!*****  
> I was inspired heavily by a Demi Lovato song and this fic is about her song Sober.  
> I do not want anyone to read this and think that anything in this fic is okay. It is not.  
> Do NOT go out and get drunk all the time. Do not drive while under the influence of ANYTHING. Don't drink and drive, is what I'm trying to say. I do not approve of that one tiny bit. Get a DD or take a cab or walk. But for goodness sake, do not get behind the wheel if you have had more than a little to drink and if you haven't waited a couple hours.

Addiction is a cruel and unforgiving disease. It happens to the best of people and it just doesn't care who it takes down with them. It laughs in the face of abstinence and it doesn't care when someone wants to avoid addiction.

Now, sure, not all addictions are terrible. They aren't all unbelievably dangerous and not all of them end poorly. But there are some that definitely end on a bad note. There are worse addictions than others, although it's not to say that all addictions aren't bad. It just means that certain addictions are worse than others.

It's always so sad to think that someone would turn to a vice of some sort. It's depressing to think that there are people out there that need to hold onto something that tightly and they can't let it go.

Kuroo knew that feeling more than anyone. He knew how it felt to be on the bad side of addictions and in a place where he couldn't control himself. It was never meant to happen, but it happened, and he just couldn't handle going without it anymore.

When his friends realized he had developed an addiction, they had tried their best to help him and get him away from the dangers it could lead to. His friends realized early on that they would have to do an intervention and that they would do anything to help him. It was their fault anyway, so they felt responsible for the monster they had made.

Of course, it wasn't completely their fault. Kuroo had a past and a life that he couldn't run from. He also had a life that made it too easy to fall into addiction. His family was never there, his job was the most miserable thing in the world and he would rather stab his eyes than deal with another complaining customer. But nevertheless, Kuroo's friends felt responsible for the monster Kuroo had become.

It was alcohol that consumed Kuroo. Kuroo had an addiction to anything that could get him drunk and make him feel good. His friends felt responsible because they forced Kuroo to have his first sip of alcohol on his eighteenth birthday, even though he wasn't even of legal drinking age yet. He had drank the whole small bottle of alcohol and he decided he liked the way is made him feel. Kuroo knew that his parents would be more than disappointed with him if they found out, but they weren't even home for his eighteenth birthday to yell at him. They couldn't be bothered to see their son on his birthday, so what did Kuroo really care? It was just another night to them, so he went out with his friends and decided that he would drink to his heart's content with his friends that night.

it didn't stop there though. He had his first drink to the point of getting drunk and he ended up bribing older friends to buy him alcohol because he told them that he 'needed' it for the stressful nights his parents put him through. They felt pity on him and they agreed to get him alcohol. It wasn't because they were okay with him drinking, but they didn't think they could tell him 'no' with the pleads he was using.

By the time his twentieth birthday rolled around, Kuroo had set up an entire life committed to alcohol. He had such a large collection of shot glasses and he had started to collect beer glasses at that point. His collection was larger than the amount of glasses all of his friends had combined. But he didn't see that as a problem. Not one bit, actually. It just reaffirmed the idea that he wanted to get even more so his friends wouldn't ever be able to catch up. He also threw a party for his twentieth birthday and his friends were very reluctant to go. They were right to be hesitant, because Kuroo wanted a drinking buddy that night for his official coming of age. He was now an adult and he could finally purchase alcohol without a fake ID.

They all laughed halfheartedly at the party and they had a drink or two to appease Kuroo, but they really weren't as interested in alcohol as Kuroo was. He just had an obsession with it. That was the moment that they realized he was a danger to himself. All of his friends gathered up one night and they planned an intervention for him. They decided that he was too far gone and they all cared too much for him, so they had decided that they would get him the help that he deserved.

One night, after a particularly bad night at work, Kuroo had gone home and he wanted to cool off and get a drink. But when he went inside his apartment, when his eyes adjusted to the light he had flipped on, he saw two people standing in his kitchen. They were friends of his, but he wasn't sure why they were in his apartment.

After a long, awkward minute, Kuroo had greeted them and asked them why they were in his apartment. They didn't answer until Kuroo had gone to go grab a shot glass. They rolled their eyes and they pulled the glass out of Kuroo's hand, which was really necessary and Kuroo couldn't appreciate it at the time. When he had finally met their eyes and when he asked what they were doing again, the light had flipped on in the living room. Kenma and Akaashi weren't the only ones in the apartment. Bokuto was there, Daichi and Suga were there, Hinata and Tanaka, they were all there.

There were so many people in his apartment and he thought that maybe someone had thrown a surprise party. But Kuroo was wrong. They had put all of their attention on Kuroo and they started to read letters and they were talking to him like he was a child. He could remember so many of the letters. Hinata's was short and sweet, right to the point. Tanaka's was more energetic and it gave Kuroo the inspiration that he needed, Kenma's was very poetic and it mentioned every single game that they had played together. Daichi had a short, but informational letter and Suga's letter... well, Kuroo couldn't really remember his letter at the moment, even though he knew that Suga said things that made him all kinds of happy. But then there was Bokuto's, and Kuroo could remember that Bokuto's letter was the most emotional and he had started to feel a tightness in his chest during Bokuto's letter.

It had been such a long night, but after all of the tears and the sad stories, they had finally gotten Kuroo to agree that he had a problem and they had convinced him to help himself. He was so scared to even try to get sober. He wasn't so sure he could actually do it and he also wasn't sure that he wanted to get sober. He didn't know how to live life without that drink in his hand, he didn't know how to go on with life any longer.

But when he realized that he wouldn't be doing it alone, he started to fight for himself. He wanted to get sober. He wanted to get that dangerous stuff away from him. He really didn't know just how dangerous it actually was. Sure, he had heard that it was bad for people, but he hadn't thought anything of it. He just never thought that it was bad for him. Maybe he had just thought that he was immune to it. Kuroo didn't realize he had let himself go as far as he had gone.

After about three months, Kuroo had claimed his first month chip at an alcoholics' anonymous meeting. He was sober for good now. He really wasn't going to drink again and he was healthier than ever. Kuroo had gotten his life back. He had finally gotten to a place mentally where he could live without having a drink.

It was then that Kuroo thought he was invincible. He was going on two years sober and he had reached his twenty-third birthday. It was such a great time in his life. He was celebrating being sober and he hadn't even looked twice at alcohol. He hadn't had a drink in over two years and his friends had helped him get there. Kuroo was so grateful to them and he cared about them so much. He thought that nothing could go wrong at that point.

But that was when the accident happened.

This is where the story really starts...

~~~

_Kuroo...my best bro... Ever since I knew you, from the very moment we started talking, I knew very early on that you have always felt so passionately and were so committed to everything you do! I love that so much about you and I hope you never lose that character trait. But there comes a time when things have to stop..._

~~~

It was late on a cold and rainy December night when Kuroo had finally pushed himself into his apartment and he had let out a yawn. Everything he needed was in the car for tomorrow and he could finally make dinner. He had only gotten home so late because he was off running errands for work. The reason he was off running errands for the job he detested more than anything was because he was pushing for a promotion. If he was lucky enough to be picked for the promotion, he wouldn't have to deal with answering the phones and dealing with customer complaints anymore. He would actually be working in the lab!

Now, to do the things he wanted to do in the lab, he would have to attend school for a couple more years and get a degree where he could actually play with the chemicals. But the promotion would be such a step up from answering phone calls. He was running errands because he had heard from someone in the labs that the only way to actually get a promotion was to kiss up to the boss. So he had done things that would kiss up to the boss.

Once inside, he decided to heat up some leftovers from Kenma's dinner last night and he would just watch an episode or two of the current show he was watching before going to sleep. Even though his job was not enjoyable, life was good right now. He was so thankful to all of his friends for keeping him on a more honorable path that he could actually be proud and happy of. He no longer had to be ashamed of the things he was doing. He could live his life without the fear of getting too aggressive for things. Kuroo could also now be happy to know that he would actually remember everything that he was doing and he didn't fear forgetting the important things anymore.

It didn't take long for Kuroo to heat up his left over chicken and rice, grab a bottle of water from the fridge, and go to the living room to start watching his show. He was tired, but he wanted to get caught up on his show so he could wait week by week with everyone else. He didn't want to see the spoilers anymore, so he was doing his best to get caught up without seeing spoilers or hearing anything from people.

Once he turned on the television and he got settled in, he flipped it to his show and he decided to get lost in his own little television world. It was always a good thing to do.

The show was nearly halfway over when his phone started to buzz in his pocket. He paused the episode and he was confused. It was already 11:30PM and he wasn't expecting a call, so who could it be? It was more than puzzling, but Kuroo put his chopsticks back down on his plate and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

When he saw who it was, Kuroo was thrown off completely. What was Akaashi doing calling him this late? Either way, Kuroo answered the phone with a hum. "What's up, Keiji? What did Bo do this-"

"He nearly got his head taken off at work and now he's in the hospital and they are operating on him and oh god, Kuroo..." Keiji hadn't taken a breath while saying that and Kuroo was still processing everything since the boy had spoken so fast. "Tetsu... C-can you come? I can't do this alone... I-I wouldn't have called you, b-but you are his best friend..."

That entire thing hit him like a train and Kuroo was still unsure he was processing it right. Maybe he was missing something? Maybe Bokuto was just pretending? All Kuroo knew was that his best friend couldn't be hurt so horribly to need surgery.

It wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening. It was just a dream.

"I'm on my way, okay? I... I'll be there in ten minutes," Kuroo said. Akaashi knew it was about a fifteen minute drive, but Kuroo didn't care. Kuroo needed to see his best friend. There was no way Bokuto was hurt this bad.

The phone disconnected and Kuroo threw on his shoes again. He grabbed his wallet and keys and ran out the door in the pouring rain again without even a jacket, nearly tripping over himself and slipping in a puddle as he walked. But this was a very unfortunate situation for them to be in right now.

Bokuto had been there for Kuroo through everything. They had been best friends for years with no break in between. Kuroo even convinced Bokuto to ask Akaashi out and the two of them had been dating ever since. "You have to be okay... I won't let you be this bad..." Kuroo said as he got in his car and started to drive. The tears were streaming down his face and Kuroo didn't even know he had started crying. But if anyone else had been in his situation, they would be doing the same thing.

Kuroo was driving so recklessly and he really couldn't control himself. He needed to get there as fast as he possibly could. He ran a couple lights, he cut people off, and he was driving at least fifteen over the speed limit. But who could blame him? He had nearly lost his best friend and he wasn't going to let the bastard die on him.

It took nine minutes and twelve seconds for Kuroo to get to the hospital and rush in through the front door. "Bokuto Koutorou. Where is he?" Kuroo asked as he nearly ran to the front desk. He was shouting and there were people ahead of him but he really just didn't give a damn at the moment. He needed to see Bokuto right then.

When Kuroo had said what he had, a nurse stood up and she approached the counter. "Sir, there are others in line that I am helping out, so if you could just-"

"My best friend is dying! He's in s-surgery and I need to make sure he is doing okay!" Kuroo shouted, giving her a menacing look that was not at all pleasant.

That nurse had been frightened by Kuroo's body language and the look on his face, but really, anyone would have been. She started to type into her computer and she looked up slowly. "He is in surgery room two... I can take you to the waiting room if you'd like?" she asked and Kuroo nodded, getting even more impatient as she stood up and grabbed her bottle of water. She took a drink before she stepped out from around the counter and started to walk.

Kuroo walked next to her and he had to try not to run. This was Bokuto they were talking about! Bokuto couldn't be hurt like this, nor could he die. Kuroo would not forgive himself, even if he really had nothing to do with the accident. They were supposed to have such a long life as bros ahead of them, so Bokuto couldn't ditch on that early.

It took them an elevator ride and a few more minutes to get to the surgery waiting room. Kuroo huffed out a thanks to the nurse before he walked into the waiting room. There were a few other people in there, but then he saw the man he wanted to see. "Keiji..." Kuroo murmured quietly.

He had been fidgeting with his hands and cell phone when he looked up. It didn't take him long to see Kuroo and for it to process that the man was standing there in front of him. He stood up and walked so quickly to Kuroo, throwing his arms around him and wrapping him in a bear hug. "Tetsu..." he whispered as he buried his face against Kuroo's shoulder, letting out a whimper that sounded so desperate.

This was a desperate moment, so Kuroo really couldn't blame him. They stood like that for a minute or so before they slowly pulled away from one another. Kuroo had walked them over to the chairs and they took a seat. Akaashi was still crying and at this rate, it wouldn't be long until Kuroo started bawling like a child. He was already tearing up, but to see Akaashi like this, Bokuto's boyfriend, it was bothering Kuroo in ways he didn't know he could be bothered. "Bo... he's been in surgery for a half hour now..."

Akaashi looked up to Kuroo, who had frowned a bit and he nodded. "Has there been any other news?" Kuroo asked and Akaashi let out a sigh, then the boy shook his head. It was unfortunate that there weren't any updates, but they would just have to wait. They weren't going to abandon the boy for any reason.

It took hours longer than they were anticipating and they sat and talked about everything. They talked about how it had happened, or at least what Bokuto's coworker had thought had happened. "Yeah, they thought they saw the blade machine lose the big arm or something... It fell on him and if that isn't terrifying, I don't know what is. I'm just glad the blade didn't fall on him. I don't think I could handle him dying like that..."

When Akaashi had said that, Kuroo was shaking his head. He couldn't handle Bo dying for any reason, let alone suddenly and unexpectedly. It was upsetting Kuroo a little more than necessary for him to be chatting about such things, but he would figure out how to calm himself down as soon as he learned more information about Bokuto.

After another few minutes, a few others that Kuroo knew were there for Bokuto had walked in. He recognized Komi quickly and he also recognized Daichi and Suga, Kenma and Tsukishima had also walked in. It wasn't everyone that had shown up, but those were the people that Kuroo definitely knew. They staggered in within a few minutes of each other, but they had all shown up hours after Kuroo had gotten there. It struck Kuroo in a very bad way and he stood up. "None of you really care about him other than Akaashi and myself. He's been in surgery for hours, so why are you guys here now?" Kuroo asked in an annoyed voice as he gave them all a look that said to them that Kuroo was losing it.

"Kuroo... we care, but Keiji only messaged us less than an hour ago... We came as soon as we heard..." Suga had said. Suga was already standing at this point. Kuroo just assumed he didn't feel like sitting, but it didn't occur to Kuroo that there weren't enough chairs.

Maybe it was the emotions inside him, or maybe it was something else, but Kuroo felt like screaming out in agony. He let out a yell of pure anger and he walked out of the room. Nobody came after him and he was glad that nobody had followed him. This was just far too much at the moment and Kuroo really couldn't handle this. He was just beyond done. He needed to get away.

After finding his way out of the hospital, he walked over to his car to go sit in it. It was still raining and Kuroo really just wanted to sleep and he wanted to say that all of this was a dream. This couldn't be happening anyway could it? Kuroo was in such an emotional state and he didn't know how much longer he could take this. He needed something to wash away all the pain. He needed someone to lean on in this time of desperation.

But when no one came and he couldn't find the things he needed to make the pain go away, Kuroo decided to start driving. He didn't care where he drove, he didn't care where he ended up, he just needed to get away and he needed to forget everything that had happened tonight.

There were thoughts running through his head and Kuroo knew they were dangerous thoughts, but he couldn't exactly control them. All control had left him and he had decided that he needed to lose control and let someone or something else take control for a while.

He wasn't sure how it happened, but Kuroo parked his car in a random parking lot and he had found himself in a random crowd of people. They were friendly and they included him in their conversation. They passed him a cup and Kuroo looked at it, feeling his insides churn a bit.

This was beyond dangerous, Kuroo thought. He sniffed the drink and it was clearly alcohol. They were all drinking from their cups though and he would feel terrible for turning down their offer. He was also not in a good state of mind and his thoughts were all jumbled up from the night he had been having.

So what did Kuroo do? He took a sip of the liquid. He was going to just spit it out because it was pure whiskey and he knew that a few shots of that would get him tipsy. He wouldn't be able to control himself when he got tipsy. But then he swallowed the drink and he downed the entire cup. Kuroo took drink after drink from this new group of people and he thanked them for the good time. He was thankful to them. Really, he should have been cursing them, but he only had himself to blame.

Kuroo decided to go into the bar across the street and he bought a few shots of their specialty. They were worried about him leaving, but Kuroo had just gotten up and left after he paid. There was really no way they were going to stop him anyway, so they let him go.

The next thing Kuroo did was walk into a grocery shop and buy a few beers. He was already beyond drunk at this point, but he was feeling much better now about Bokuto. He knew now that Bo would have to wake up, because if he didn't, Kuroo would become the drunken fool that he was before. Bo was extremely instrumental in sobering Kuroo up the first time, so what made the most sense to Kuroo right then was to get drunk so Bokuto would wake up and fix him. It was very illogical, but Kuroo thought it made perfect sense.

After he bought the beers, Kuroo walked himself right to the hospital, without his car. He had left it in the parking lot where he met those people. He had recognized that there were some of the people here for Bokuto waiting outside again and Kuroo snorted a bit as he downed the final beer he had and tossed it onto the street. "Did y'all get sick... of waiting?" Kuroo asked with a hiccup.

They gave him a concerned and strange look. Kei was among them and he approached Kuroo slowly. "Actually, visiting hours are over and we can't get in anymore. He's out of surgery, but that's all we know," he said and Kuroo laughed in his face, shaking his head.

"I knew it would work! I'm a genius!" Kuroo said as he put his hands on his hips. Bokuto had come out of surgery because he had started to drink again, so he thought it was going to be the fix for everything from now on. Whenever things didn't go his way, he would just drink and make everything all better. That was Kuroo's genius idea.

After standing there, laughing for a moment, Kei sighed and he came closer to Kuroo. "You're drunk again, aren't you?" he asked and put his hand on Kuroo's shoulder. It didn't take long for Kuroo to shrug it off and groan.

Yes, he was drunk again. Yes, he had broken his sobriety. It wasn't like it really mattered though, because Bokuto would come back to them and he would fix Kuroo up easily, or so Kuroo thought. "Where's Akaashi? I have to tell him that it would work!"

Suga sighed and he stepped forward. "He's the only one inside with Bokuto right now. They would only let one person in with him and we decided that Akaashi should be that person. He's waiting for Bokuto to wake up," Suga said and he gave Kuroo a sad look. "But we've all decided to go back to Akaashi's place and wait until we can see him again. Visiting hours happen again at six."

Kuroo wasn't allowed to see Bo? That wasn't happening. He scoffed and he walked into the main entrance. He already knew where the waiting room was, so he decided that he could get there and figure out where Bokuto was being held from there. "Sir? You can't go that way," a nurse had said. Kuroo didn't care though and he just continued to walk himself to go find Bokuto. "Sir! Please don't make me call security," she shouted.

After a minute or so, Kuroo was nearly to Bokuto's room. He could see Akaashi standing outside of the room and he was shaking his head. But when he had turned around, he saw Kuroo and he looked bad right then. He didn't look like the Kuroo he knew and that cared about him or Bokuto. "Kuroo... Are you... drunk? I can smell the alcohol on you from here..." Akaashi said and Kuroo laughed. It wasn't even a minute later that a guard had come and Kuroo was struggling against his grasp.

"Akaashi! Tell the man I can see Bo!" Kuroo shouted as he was pulled away from the recovery rooms where Bokuto was being held. "Keiji! I have to see him!" Kuroo yelled and he pushed the guard off of him and onto the ground before he ran towards him.

It was a surprise, but Akaashi stood in the way and Kuroo stopped. "I can't even go see him yet. They are still getting him set up so I can sit with him. How do you think he's going to react when he wakes up and sees you drunk?" Akaashi had asked and that was a very true and valid point. How would Bokuto react to know that Kuroo had broken his sobriety for him? Kuroo hadn't thought about that and he had a feeling that Bokuto wouldn't feel the best about knowing that his years of being sober was a waste.

But that didn't matter to Kuroo right now. He pushed Akaashi out of the way gently and he walked into the room.

The nurses had looked up from what they were doing to Bokuto and they came closer to him, but Kuroo's only goal at the moment was to get to Bokuto. "You can't be in here," one of them had said. He had looked over all of their heads to see a bandaged up Bokuto in the bed, and Kuroo had looked over the monitor that was hooked up. His heart rate was very slow and it should have been more concerning to Kuroo at that moment.

"Bo... Bo, you're alive... I was so worried," he choked out and he was pulled out by two different guards. They had gone to the lengths of throwing handcuffs on him and Akaashi stood back from them while they were dragging Kuroo out into the main lobby.

"Sir, you really can't be in here until six AM. That's when visiting hours are and we can't allow you to go back there for a few more hours. You are welcome to wait in the lobby for as long as you want, but we just can't let you back to see him right now. We know he's your friend, but we have rules and you need to follow them," a man had said. He was in a suit and Kuroo had assumed he was probably important.

Kuroo scoffed and stood up. "Yeah, yeah, okay. I'll leave and come back in the morning," Kuroo said as he walked out of the office. They really didn't sound too thrilled with letting him go, but they had no choice. He had gone to the lobby and he went out the exit.

It was still drizzling outside and all of Bokuto's friends had left. Kuroo rolled his eyes and he tried to go back to his car. It surprised him that it wasn't in the hospital parking lot anymore. "Where is it...?" Kuroo asked as he searched his pockets for his keys.

Thankfully, he had his keys still and he had pressed the alarm button to see if he had just forgotten where he had parked. After a minute of not hearing anything, Kuroo frowned and he groaned. Where did he leave his car? This was beyond frustrating to him.

He had forgotten that he had left the car in a parking lot near the bar he had drank in, so since he didn't know where he had left his car, he decided that he would just get his car later and he needed to go home now that he was drunk. He had been lucky with the law so far, not getting caught driving while he was drunk, but he was far too gone to even remember where he had left his car, so he just decided to walk himself home.

If he had been smart enough, he would have called one of his friends or gotten a taxi, but Kuroo wasn't smart at all while he was intoxicated. It took him an hour to get home and he walked right inside, dripping wet from all of the rain, and he passed out on the couch. In the morning, he was going to regret this, but he just didn't care at the moment. What he really cared about was getting to sleep again and for all of this to be a dream.

Once passed out, Kuroo was asleep for probably eleven hours before he woke up with a stomach ache. He wouldn't throw up, he knew, but he wanted something for his headache. He was so miserable at the moment and he was reminded about Bokuto with a text from Akaashi.

"Kuroo, I don't think it's a good idea for you to be around Bokuto right now. I want you to focus on yourself and I want you to come back clean. Got it?" Akaashi had sent and that entire thing pissed Kuroo off completely. Akaashi wasn't going to let Kuroo see him? Well, Kuroo would have to show Akaashi. There was not a thing in the world that was going to stop Kuroo from seeing his best bro in the entire world when he was as hurt as he was.

Stumbling his way out of bed, Kuroo groaned as he pushed himself to go get a shower and he washed himself clean of all of the smells he had gathered sometime through the night. There was no way anyone would be able to smell alcohol on his breath now. After he finished showering, Kuroo had gone to get dressed and he went to grab his keys.

That was when he realized that he didn't know where his car was, and Kuroo was very distraught about that information.

He sat down and he tried to figure out just exactly where he could have left it. He left the waiting room, he drove around town a bit, and he remembered those people who handed him shots, then he ending up at a bar, then a convenient store. He wasn't quite sure how he remembered those things, since he was completely gone by the time he had gotten home, but he was still trying to remember just exactly where his car was. It had to be somewhere, right?

After a few moments of thinking, Kuroo had finally realized that it had to be somewhere near the bar, since that was where he met those people who fed into his bad habit. They didn't know that he was once a drunk and an alcoholic, but they still broke his sobriety.

It didn't take long for Kuroo to realize that the bar was rather far away. It would take him probably two hours by foot to get there, so he was going to try to contact one of his friends to take him to his car.

Kenma had answered on the first time, which was a relief to Kuroo. "Hey, I need a favor. Can you come pick me up from my house and drive me to where my car is? I left it in a parking lot last night and I somehow managed to get home without it," he said once Kenma had answered the phone. There was a pause on the other end of the line and Kuroo was waiting patiently. Hopefully, the boy would come pick him up and take him where he needed to go.

"How did you get home without your car? Did someone take you home?" Kenma asked, sounding very confused.

"No, I walked home. I left it in the parking lot and went back to the hospital, and I forgot that I had left it in the parking lot and just walked home," Kuroo said.

There was a very disappointed sigh that came from Kenma. "I didn't want to believe it was true... Akaashi had called me last night and told me you showed up to the hospital drunk again. After these last two years, Kuroo... really?" he asked. Kuroo bit his lip and he went towards the door, pulling it open and stepping outside.

He had no excuse and he couldn't try to hide it now that Akaashi had told him. "It was just a one time thing, okay? I don't even have any at home with me. I was just feeling so poorly over Bo that I needed some how to release my emotions," Kuroo said with a grumble.

Once again, Kenma let out a sigh that told Kuroo that he had fucked up and that the boy was very disappointed in the tall man. "You know that you can't do that, Kuroo. You are in a very dangerous place in your life where you can't just break your sober state and have drinks again. As much fun as alcohol is, you can't have it again. We've all been trying to help you," Kenma said.

But the thing was, Kuroo hadn't really heard anything passed 'as much fun as alcohol is'. His mind had started to take Kuroo to the memories he had while drinking and how good the liquid made him feel. He was thinking about how much he missed being drunk all the time and how much better it would make the situation with Bokuto. "Yeah, okay. Can you just come get me?" Kuroo asked, trying to brush off the whole thing that Kenma had said to him.

One more sigh from Kenma and he agreed before hanging up. Kuroo was just glad that he would be able to get his car back.

His stomach was starting to feel off from having all of the alcohol last night and he groaned as he ate a slice of toast, trying to force it down. Kenma was there within a few minutes and Kuroo went out to his car, sliding into the passenger seat. "So where is it?" Kenma asked as he adjusted how he was sitting.

Kuroo closed the door and he pulled the keys out of his pocket. "Go by the hospital and I'll show you from there," Kuroo said. He really wasn't sure himself, but he knew he could probably get there if he tried hard enough. All he really wanted was his car back and he would get it back if it was the last thing he did.

After Kenma had drove passed the hospital, Kuroo tried to retrace his steps, but it really wasn't working very well. That was when Kenma had pulled over and parked the car. "You were really so drunk last night that you completely forgot where your car is? Do you know the name of the bar so we can try to find it from there?" Kenma asked, sounding beyond annoyed at this point.

Feeling bad, Kuroo shook his head. "I know that it had a star on the sign and that... they served fruity drinks that they let me have one of for free..." Kuroo said as he looked at Kenma. That probably wouldn't help Kenma at all, saying he really didn't go to bars very often. The area of town they were in currently was also quite a distance from Kenma's house. He wouldn't likely know it anyway.

Once Kenma had started to drive again, Kuroo had started to look around a little more closely and he was trying to recall everything from last night.

It took them probably an hour, but they had finally found Kuroo's car and Kenma was about ready to kick Kuroo out. But they parted ways and Kenma drove away once Kuroo had gotten out of the car. He had gone back to his car, but then he looked across the street. That was where the bar was.

One drink wouldn't hurt, would it?

That was exactly what Kuroo thought as he crossed the street. He had gone into the bar and he had took a seat. He ordered something strong and something that would help him forget everything going on. He really had continued thinking about Bokuto and he was still getting far too emotional over him. Kuroo had ordered three more before the bartender had to convince him enough was enough and Kuroo took it as a hint that it was time to leave.

It was a good thing he had left, too, because Bokuto had started to tear up and he had to wipe the tears off his cheeks as he got into his car. Bokuto was so hurt, he could now remember the bandaged head and face, and all of the tubes and cords coming out of his bro. It was so depressing and Kuroo was really trying his hardest to stop thinking about it, but it was impossible. It had happened last night, so he wasn't likely to forget it.

Backing out of his parking spot, it wasn't safe for him to be driving at the moment, but Kuroo had done so anyway. He was swerving a little and he had nearly hit someone crossing the street, but at least he had gotten home safe and sound. He had also done so without getting caught by a police officer.

That was when he was grateful to live so close to a convenient store. He could just park his car and cross the street to go get whatever he needed. What he needed right then was more alcohol, and he knew for a fact that they had alcohol there. They had sold it to him many times. Now, he had told them that he was trying to get sober before, but he hoped they wouldn't remember that. Or at the very least, he was hoping that the new girl was working.

Luck had been on Kuroo's side that afternoon. They hadn't remembered him trying to get sober and he bought three cases of beer, a bottle of vodka, and a bottle of rum. He took it back to his apartment and he cracked open his case of beer. The rest had gone into the fridge and he had decided to drink three of them, trying to decide on a plan of action to get in and see Bokuto.

Akaashi wouldn't likely let him get in, nor would Kenma let him get near Bokuto if he was there. He knew those two and it was really going to be a struggle to get in and see Bokuto. But it had to happen. He had to get into to see his bro, no matter what he did. He would make it happen and no one was going to stop him, not even Bo's boyfriend.

The thing was, though, Kuroo had forgotten where he had put his keys when he had gone back inside. It was rather unfortunate and he really wanted to try to go back to the hospital to see if Bokuto had woken up from surgery. But he really couldn't remember where his keys were. They were on the counter next to the two bottles of alcohol, but he hadn't found them as of yet.

It took him an hour, three more beers, and a good groaning and yelling session for him to even locate the keys. It wasn't his brightest moment, but he had found the keys and he decided that he would have to try now that he had found the keys to go see Bokuto. He didn't care what Akaashi had to say, he didn't care what the staff thought about him being there in the first place, he just cared that he got a chance to go see Bokuto.

Now, the trip to the hospital was a little more tricky for Kuroo at this point. For one, he had nearly gotten pulled over by a cop. He thought it was a cop, but it wasn't and he had gone ten under the speed limit just because of that. He also got into the other lane much more than necessary because he was simply too drunk to be driving. He had also just about crashed his car into the back of a minivan and he had screamed when he really shouldn't have been. Once again, though, Kuroo had gotten to the hospital and he parked his car, going towards the front door.

There were two people standing outside that pushed off of the hospital wall the very moment that Kuroo had approached the entrance. "If you're here to see Bokuto, we can't let you go in," Tsukishima had said with a rather harsh tone. That was rather unfair, Kuroo thought, but he scoffed and rolled his eyes a bit.

"You can and you will let me," Kuroo said with a smirk as he tried to walk through the front. Tsukki stood in front of him and pushed him gently backwards.

This was very unexpected. It had angered Kuroo a bit and he had clicked his tongue. "Kuroo, you're clearly intoxicated. I just gently nudged you, and you stumbled back about three feet," he said and Yamaguchi who had been standing there with him, looked him over and crossed his arms. "Yama, will you go warn the people inside? I can handle him here," Tsukki had said.

Kuroo had felt rather offended at that comment. "You're warning them about me?" Kuroo asked in a raised voice. He had given them both a look and Yamaguchi had excused himself to go into the hospital and Tsukki was still standing in the way of the door. "That's real nice, you know? I'm not some dangerous animal."

"You could have fooled me," Tsukki said, his voice laced with such sarcasm.

This entire thing was getting the blood inside Kuroo boiling. "I deserve the chance to get to see him, you know. He is my best friend, after all," Kuroo said with a bit of anger in his voice still. This was not going the way Kuroo had been expecting.

Once again, the boy tried to get into the hospital and he nearly avoided Tsukki to get in, but Tsukki had grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "No, you're not getting in there. For one, the staff will smell the alcohol on you and ask you to leave immediately. Two, Akaashi doesn't want you to see him."

The moment Akaashi was mention, Kuroo felt himself tense up. "He doesn't have a say you know," Kuroo said with a grunt and a look of disapproval. He was wasn't going to be bossed around by some little punk who was only dating Bokuto for his family money.

He knew that it wasn't true and he knew inside that Akaashi had actually cared about Bokuto and loved him, but Kuroo was pissed the fuck off and he was going to believe what he wanted to believe about Akaashi right now for keeping him away from his best friend. "He does have a say when Bokuto gave Akaashi the permission to make calls on his life when he's like this."

Hearing that sentence actually thew Kuroo for a loop. Bokuto would do such a thing? He would sign over his life to be in the hands of a boy that he was only dating? That was kind of hard to hear and it was harsh to hear that it was Akaashi over him. Kuroo would sign over his life to Bokuto and he trusted him more than anything. Deep down, Kuroo knew that it made more sense for Bokuto to give permission to Akaashi, but it still hurt him at the moment and he really just wanted to talk to Bokuto about this.

Kuroo sighed as he turned away, taking a few steps away. "Oh, you don't think I'm letting you drive like this, do you?" the blonde said. "You're drunk and you could kill yourself if you drive home like this. Yams and I will get you and your car home," he said.

There was a vice grip around Kuroo's wrist and he rolled his eyes as he turned back to Tsukki. He was the devil at the moment and all he wanted to do was just get away. "Fine, I'll wait," he said with a grunt as he yanked his wrist back, nearly stumbling over in the process.

This was such a disappointing day and it was only getting worse as he saw Daichi and Suga walk passed them. Suga was giving Kuroo a sad look and he nodded to him before walking inside. They were all allowed to see Bokuto, so why wasn't Kuroo? All because he had screwed up? All because a punk had decided that Kuroo wasn't allowed to go see him? This was ridiculous.

Once Yamaguchi had come back, Tsukki and he discussed how they were getting Kuroo home and they had finally left the hospital. Kuroo was in his own car with Tsukki driving and Yams was fallowing behind them in his car, just so he could get Tsukki back to the hospital.

It didn't take them long to get back, maybe twenty minutes with traffic. Tsukki parked the car and looked over to Kuroo. "Are you going to be okay inside?" he asked softly.

A scowl left Kuroo's lips and he rolled his eyes. "You know, I'd be better if I could see Bokuto. But yeah, sure, I'll be just fine without my best friend in the world," Kuroo said with a roll of his eyes. He knew that he wasn't going to feel any better, knowing that Akaashi was the one calling the shots and that he wasn't allowed to go see Bokuto anymore. But he could at least show just how pissed and frustrated with this entire situation. That was what he was doing right then.

Tsukki sighed as he unlocked the car doors. "Call me if you're not okay. I'm begging you, Kuroo, don't keep drinking. It's super unhealthy for you to drink. I want you to be okay and none of us want you to keep this up. You of all people remember how you were when you were before we managed to get you sober again. None of us want to see you like this again, Kuroo. We care about you."

If they really cared about him, they would take him to see Bokuto. If anyone really wanted him to be okay, they wouldn't stop him when he wanted to see his best friend. But apparently no one really cared all that much. "Yeah, I'll call," Kuroo said with a sigh and he opened the door to his car. Kei had followed him and he cleared his throat, getting Kuroo to turn to him. He forgot momentarily that Kei was going to ride with Yamaguchi back to the hospital and that they took his car. Kei was just giving him his keys back.

After Kuroo managed to get inside, he wanted to just drown in his sorrows. He wasn't going to listen to anything that Kei had to say, because no one seemed to really have his best interests in mind. They just wanted to keep Kuroo away from his best friend and they apparently wanted to keep him nice and miserable. Kuroo was going to try to feel better by taking shot after shot of vodka, to see what he could do about his emotions. If no one cared about him, why should they care that he was back to drinking?

"They don't care..." Kuroo murmured as he opened up the vodka and poured it into a regular glass. 

This was not going to end well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the wait on this! I was in the midst of moving and I've had other personal drama going on. But I hope you'll enjoy this chapter! You won't have to wait super long for the next chapter like you've waited for this one.

_Now, don’t get me wrong my bro, you can still be passionate about things! I don’t want you to lose that about yourself. But being passionate about bad things isn’t really a good thing. Like, remember when I was addicted to watching funny youtube videos and gaming streams, and stayed up way too late every night watching them? You made me put a stop to that because I was tired at work all the time. You were always such a good influence and everyone here loves you for being a role model and someone to look up to. We could always count on you for being a friend…_  
\---

The clock ticked and things were moving in such slow motion. Or at the very least, that was what Kuroo thought. In reality, time was moving faster than he thought it was and he was drinking himself nearly blind. The sips of vodka went down easy and he finished nearly half of the bottle before he passed out. He woke up vomiting, but eventually, he was feeling better after he started drinking again.

No one cared, so why should he care that he drank himself to sleep, missed his alarm going off to get ready for work, and was skipping a day without calling them to let them know that he wasn't coming in? He shouldn't care, that was the answer he needed to remind himself of and he sat there, drinking to keep his buzz and drunkenness going. Emotionally, he was feeling better. He was still angry that they were keeping him away from his absolute best friend in the entire world and that nobody seemed to see the problem with that, saying that Kuroo knew that he was Bokuto's best friend too. But what was he to do about that?

Kuroo walked around the house and he picked up his phone to text Akaashi all of his emotions and how he felt about being kept away from Bokuto. It was really a shitty feeling and Kuroo just wanted to be heard about that. "So you know, I'm drinking again because of you and your little group of protectors. This could have been avoided if you would just let me see Bokuto. But I guess you don't really care how I'm doing, huh?" Kuroo typed all of that out, although, due to his intoxicated state, it really didn't turn out like that. There were more typos than correct words and anyone would be lucky to decipher that mess.

After the morning passed on by, Kuroo had to find something else to drink and he was starting to worry that he would run out soon. So he decided that he would slow his roll and try to focus on something else to do, like maybe watching all of those dorky superhero movies that Bokuto loved so much, or maybe he would try to work on something for work. Granted, he couldn't do anything with chemistry right now if he tried, so that was probably the worst idea in the world.

The day was nearly gone when Kuroo heard a knock at the door. He looked up after taking a sip of rum and coke before slowly standing up. "Who is it?" he called to the door, walking over. Really, he was stumbling a bit, but he thought he was walking just fine without any issues at all. 

When the person didn't answer, Kuroo shrugged and started to walk away when the person knocked again. "Who is it I said?" Kuroo said louder as he started to walk towards the door again. "I've got half a mind to call the police," Kuroo said as he looked outside through the peep hole he had on his front door. If he were sober, he would have looked through that in the first place. But since he wasn't sober, it took a lot more for him to do normal things.

It surprised him to see who was there, as Kuroo wasn't expecting to see him or anything. What did he want? Why was he here? Kuroo frowned as he opened up the door, stumbling back a little. "Suga? Why are you here?" he asked as Suga looked up and he tilted his head, smiling a little.

"I just figured you could use some company and I actually wanted to fill you in on everything that's going on," Suga said. His smile turned sour and he made a face. "Kuroo... you smell like alcohol..." he said as he slowly stepped forward into the threshold of the apartment.

Letting out a laugh, Kuroo shrugged and shook his head. "Well that's funny, because I didn't think you, or anyone else cared! So you don't have to worry about me smelling like alcohol, because I am just fine and dandy!" Kuroo was slurring over his words and not making too much sense. Suga did care, and that was why he walked passed Kuroo and he hummed a bit.

Really though, there wasn't a reason for Suga to be there. Why should he care any more than anyone else? "You're clearly not doing okay, just because I know how you get when you've been drinking. Kuroo... you were clean for so long. What happened?" Suga asked and he looked around Kuroo's apartment, picking up on the things that told Suga that he was in fact back to drinking. It wasn't like there was anything he could really do about it, but at the same time, he had to find a way to help. It was just who Suga was. He cared about people.

That question hit Kuroo a little hard and he reacted to it so strongly. "What happened? What happened is my best friend is in a coma and nobody cared about that. What happened is that people are trying to force me away from seeing him when all I want to do is see that he is okay and that he will survive this! What happened is, I can't even go make sure that my best bro in the world will live and you all are okay with keeping him as far away from me as you possibly can," Kuroo said and Suga frowned, reaching to shut the door.

No one knew just how bad this was. Tsukki and Yamaguchi might have had a little bit of an idea, but they were obviously more worried about Bokuto. Akaashi knew, but Bokuto came first in this situation. So who was there to care about Kuroo? Who was going to be there to pick up the pieces of his mess? Suga sighed and he reached for Kuroo's cheek, who flinched away from the touch. "I know it's hard and I know you want to go see him, but don't you think that you should take a moment to realize that you're hurting yourself and you'd be hurting Bokuto even more if he knew what was going on?" Suga asked.

When Suga had said that, it had never occurred to Kuroo that Bokuto wouldn't like him drinking again. It never crossed his mind that Bokuto wouldn't approve. But really, why did that matter so much? Bokuto wasn't awake right now anyway to see all of this and he wouldn't be awake for probably a few days now anyway. That was when Kuroo realized that Suga said he wanted to give an update on Bokuto and Kuroo was pushing that chance away. He needed to stop pushing Suga away and he needed to let Suga in to help him before he lost his chance to get knew knowledge on Bokuto. This was just a sticky situation all around that Kuroo really wanted to get himself out of.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m hurting myself,” Kuroo said with a sigh and he shrugged a bit. He really didn’t care anyway but he really wanted to pretend that he did care so he could hear about what was going on with Bokuto. “So you said you wanted to tell me about Bo. What’s going on with him?”

It took Suga a moment to look over Kuroo and judge to see if he was being sincere or not. Suga knew that Kuroo cared and he wanted to know how Bokuto was doing, but Suga wasn't sure he wanted to tell to lad if he wasn't serious about getting help and getting better. It was such a debate, but Suga figured he would only get worse if he didn't give Kuroo a little information at the very least. "Well, here, can we sit down? I'd rather do this while we're both comfortable."

When Kuroo heard that bit of information, he rolled his eyes, but he nodded and he stood back to let Suga into his apartment. He honestly wasn't too keen on letting anyone in at the moment, just because he was moody and well, he subconsciously knew how he was when he was drunk, so he didn't want to subject anyone else to that cruel torture. "Yeah, go sit in the living room and I'll be there in a minute," he said as he thought about what he wanted to make to drink.

For a moment, the air was stale and there was a tension in the air that neither of them wanted to face. But they needed to deal with it anyway, so Suga sighed and he went to go sit in the living room, even though he had a feeling that leaving Kuroo alone would allow him to make an alcoholic drink that he knew he couldn't have. He just didn't want to fight right now and he wanted to talk to Kuroo calmly.

It didn't take long for Kuroo to get back to the living room, but just like Suga thought, he was holding a glass that Suga could only guess held something alcoholic. Once Kuroo took a seat in the chair across from him, they looked at each other for a moment and Suga's eyes said everything that Kuroo didn't want to hear. "So, are you going to tell me about Bokuto or what? I know that you wanted to sit down first, so we're sitting and I'm not hearing what I want to know," Kuroo had said and he waited as he took a sip from his glass.

Suga wished that Kuroo would stop and just set the glass down, but that wasn't likely to happen he knew. "Well, he's being kept in a coma for a while so they can run some tests and see what's going on. He just got blood drawn and they want to see if it's possible that he will come back to us on his own. But you know Bokuto, he's such a fighter and I wouldn't be surprised if he was back before we knew it."

The taller male nodded and he took another drink from his glass. "But he's still in a coma, huh?" he asked as he swirled the glass in his hand.

"Yeah, he is, but he's just... they are only keeping him in a coma for now to protect him. It's really for the best, you know?" Suga really wanted to get through to Kuroo about all of this and he wanted to give the boy some piece of mind. He really didn't want him to suffer more than he had to, because Suga knew that Bokuto was his absolute best friend in the world. They all loved and cared about Bokuto, but Kuroo and Bokuto were just on a different league.

The two of them couldn't be separated. The two of them were just two peas in a pod. Suga wondered briefly why they just didn't end up dating themselves. It was probably for the best, because the headache the two of them would cause the rest of their group of friends made Suga shiver. But Bokuto was dating Akaashi and it was probably much better that way.

Kuroo shrugged and he took another sip from his glass. "What would be best for him would be if he would wake up and none of this had happened. What would be best for him is if Akaashi could get the stick out of his ass and let me get in to see him. But you know that's not going to happen," Kuroo said with a sigh. Suga watched him take another gulp from his glass and it put him on edge.

"I know you're upset that you can't get in to see him right now... But I think you should take a look at it from Akaashi's perspective right now. All he sees is you as a threat being on alcohol again and he is trying to protect Bokuto from any arm. He has Bokuto's best interests in mind," Suga said. He knew that Kuroo probably really didn't want to hear that, but it was the truth that he needed to hear.

With a scoff and a laugh, Kuroo shook his head and downed the rest of his drink. "He's the one that caused this, so he has himself to thank for how I'm behaving and for putting me back on alcohol. Don't you see, Suga? This was all his fault," Kuroo said. That was how Kuroo felt about the entire thing, even though Suga knew it wasn't completely true. Subconsciously, Kuroo knew that only he could be to blame for starting to drink again. He knew that he was the one that started this again and that he couldn't blame anyone but himself.

Sure, Akaashi might have made it worse, but Kuroo was really the one at fault. "Tetsurou... It's not really fair to blame him, is it? We are all upset about Bokuto, but try to see it from his shoes... He's got a boyfriend in the hospital, on a ventilator right now, and he's just thinking about Bo and himself. Can he really be to blame for any of this?" Suga asked. Suga really didn't think it was fair to blame Akaashi. It wasn't fair to blame anyone other than Kuroo's addictive personality.

"Akaashi isn't good enough for my Bo," Kuroo said as he stood up. Suga stood up too, following him out of the living room to see where he was going. Suga had a feeling that Kuroo was going to make another drink and he really had to put a stop to this. It really wasn't okay for Kuroo to go make drinks in any circumstance. There was no time that it was okay for Kuroo to have a sip of alcohol, because anyone that knew him knew that he would fall down the addiction pit again and have to climb back out.

It was difficult to watch him go through this the first time. It was hard for everyone involved, particularly Bokuto, Kenma, and it was really tough for Suga. He didn't know why it was so tough, but he had a sinking feeling that this was going to be rough all over again.

When Kuroo went back to the counter to grab his alcohol, Suga couldn't watch this. He really couldn't let this continue happening. So Suga shook his head and he tensed up when he saw Kuroo start to uncap the bottle of whiskey on the counter. He went over to Kuroo and he put his hand on Kuroo's arm, getting him to stop. "Kuroo, please... You don't have to do this," he said softly, looking up to the taller male with desperation in his eyes.

They stood there like that for a few moments before Kuroo took his hands off of the alcohol and he blinked at Suga. "I know I don't have to, but it's the only thing that calms me down and helps me think about all of this," he said, frowning to Suga.

"But look at who you become when you drink. Look at everything that changes when you have alcohol again," Suga said, still holding onto Kuroo's arm, feeling how he was slipping down to his wrist and instinctively, his thumbs rubbed slow circles across Kuroo's skin.

Letting out a sound of disappointment, Kuroo turned his eyes and he looked back towards the alcohol. His fingers twitched, but Suga could see the look on his face. "Come on, Kuroo. Haven't you had enough? It's late, so can't we just get you down to sleep?" Suga asked, tightening his grip on Kuroo's wrist to tell him that he was serious about all of this. There was no way he was going to let Kuroo stay bad again.

After another minute, Kuroo gave in and his shoulders sagged. He turned his eyes towards Suga and he could feel how his eyes were watering up at the moment. "Suga... Why is this so hard? Why couldn't this have happened to anyone else? Why did it have to be Bokuto? Why not _me_?" Kuroo asked.

Letting out a gasp of surprise, Suga shook his head and reached his other hand up to Kuroo's face. "Hey, no... You know, no one should have to go through this. It's not fair that Bokuto has to go through any of it. But you know Bokuto. If anyone can pull out of something this severe, it's him. He is so strong and you of all people know that he can make it through anything," Suga said.

Kuroo could feel himself starting to crumble under Suga's words. He could feel all of this start to hit him hard and he really just needed to get through any of it. He really wanted to numb the pain and the only way he knew how to numb the pain was alcohol, but he knew it wasn't going to happen with Suga here. "Koushi... I miss him... I just want to see him..." he said quietly and he let out a wail that sounded like emotional pain.

Slowly, Suga took his hand off of Kuroo's face and wrapped his arms around the taller male. He pulled him into his chest and squeezed him tight, trying to calm his nerves and stop him from breaking apart. "I know... I know you miss him... But hey, you know what? I can talk to Akaashi and see if he will let you get in to see him. I need you to do something for me first, though," Suga said as he rubbed Kuroo's back. Kuroo was taller than him and this was a little difficult to do, but Suga kept rubbing his back and he continued to try to soothe the boy.

"Do wh-what?" Kuroo asked quietly and he leaned his head down to settle on the top of Suga's head.

Suga continued to rub his back and he could feel Kuroo's breathing continue to be irregular, just because he was upset. "Kuroo... I need you to get sober again," he said slowly.

The tension in Kuroo's body that had left had returned and he stood up straight. He didn't pull out of Suga's arms and he didn't completely pull away, but he did pull back enough to look at Suga completely. "Are you crazy? I can't get through this until Bokuto is better without alcohol! You're crazy to even suggest it, Suga."

"You can't do it, or you _won't_ do it? Akaashi hasn't had a sip of alcohol, I haven't touched the stuff since before his accident, and others haven't turned into alcoholics because of this. So tell me again... are you sure you can't do it? Or is it that you just don't want to because it's the easy way out?" Suga said in a quiet voice, tilting his head a bit. His tone was very serious and he wanted this to get through to Kuroo.

When another moment had passed, Kuroo sighed and he relaxed his shoulders a bit. "Why can't I take the easy way out for once? Why do I have to always behave and not get into any trouble? You know, it's a pain in the ass to be good all the time and take care of myself," Kuroo said with a huff. The tears were done falling and Suga could tell that this was getting through to him. But he wasn't going to back down and he had to stand his ground.

"No one likes taking the more difficult route, but it's something we have to do, Kuroo. It's something that we all have to do sometimes, especially in things like this. No one is saying you have to always be good, but we're saying that this isn't the way to be bad. This is dangerous to your health and no one wants you to become an alcoholic again. Everyone likes you better when you're sober," Suga said.

That final sentence threw Kuroo over the edge and it made him so mad. Why couldn't they like him no matter what? Why did everyone else get to decide how he lived his life? Kuroo pulled away and stalked away. Suga wasn't far behind, but at the very least, he wasn't trying to make a drink again. He was walking back towards the living room and he went to sit down.

Suga knew it was harsh. He knew that hearing what Suga had to say was cruel, but it was just the truth and Suga had to get Kuroo to understand that he was just looking out for him. "Then tell me, Suga! How do I get through all of this without alcohol? If you're such an expert, enlighten me!" Kuroo shouted as he rested his head in his hands. His elbows were against his legs and he was holding his head up that way.

This wasn't an easy thing to do, but Suga slowly went to Kuroo and crouched down to him. "You know, I remember something that helped the first time. Come on, let’s go do that so we can try to get you better."

"I'm not broken like Bokuto is, but sure, whatever," Kuroo said as Suga took his hand and pulled him up after standing himself. Suga took him back out to the kitchen, but he walked straight by the counter with the alcohol on it and he was headed back to Kuroo's bathroom.

Kuroo had really let the bathroom go after being on alcohol. There was clothes on the floor, the glass he used to rinse out his mouth was on the floor, and the trash was overflowing. He had really stopped caring. Usually, yesterday would have been his cleaning day. But that very clearly didn't happen yesterday. "So, what are we going to do?" Kuroo asked as he hopped up onto the counter in the bathroom and he watched as Suga went to the shower. He flipped on the water and Suga took off his shirt before turning back to Kuroo.

This was rather curious and Kuroo wanted to know just what Suga was up to, but he wasn't sure he was going to get an answer before they were already doing whatever Suga wanted to do. "Come on, Kuroo," Suga said with a smile as he approached Kuroo. The smaller male didn't seem to be reaching for his hands, which he originally thought he was going for. But apparently, Suga was going for his shirt and he managed to get it off of Kuroo without too much of a struggle.

After a moment of Suga looking Kuroo over, he took a breath and smiled up to Kuroo. "Now I can do the same to your shorts, or you can take those off yourself. Don't worry about your boxers though, if you would rather not take them off. I'm not taking mine off," he said as he slipped off his own shorts.

Just what was Suga going to do? Kuroo was so confused. "No, I'm not taking off my shorts. I'm cold and I don't want to take more clothing off," Kuroo said with a huff. Suga raised an eyebrow after he finished taking off his own shorts. For one, it wasn't exactly cold outside, nor was it very chilly in the apartment. Two, Kuroo very clearly didn't remember doing this the first time.

"Suit yourself then," Suga said as he reached to the legs of Kuroo's shorts and pulled. They started to slide off and Kuroo yelped, reaching for the fabric.

The struggling began.

"S-Suga! No!" Kuroo said, desperately trying to keep the shorts on his whiter than white legs. "Do we have to? Why are you trying to undress me?" he asked, feeling Suga pull harder on the fabric and he nearly succeeded. Kuroo wasn't going to let him win that easily though.

It didn't take long for Kuroo to realize his legs could be used as a help in this situation. He tried to shake Suga's hands off, but it really wasn't any help. Desperate times called for desperate measures though, so Kuroo kicked at Suga's arm, getting him to let go.

The smaller lad let out a yelp and he looked up to Kuroo, who had frozen. He wasn't a violent person. He really wasn't even a bad person and he hated violence usually, but Suga brought this side out of him and he hated that they were in this situation. "Fine. I wanted you to have to deal with less to clean up, but it looks like you're going in with your shorts," Suga said as he stood up, reaching for Kuroo's hands.

Kuroo gave him a look, still confused about what was going on. He didn't want Suga to get a handle on either of his arms or wrists, but Suga put his face in Kuroo's face and he reached for Kuroo's shoulders, finally getting a grip on Kuroo and latching onto his wrists. Suga then leaned back and pulled with all of his might until he had succeeded in getting Kuroo to stumble off the counter. He nearly fell over, but his reflexes were too goo for that. "Suga, what are you-"

That was when Kuroo realized what Suga was finally up to. He latched onto Kuroo and yanked him as hard as he could, pulling Kuroo into the shower. That wasn't the only thing he was up to, though. The shower was cold. He finally remembered that his friends had succeeded in getting him in a cold shower before and they trapped him in there. It took three people though, Bo included, and they could hardly keep Kuroo in there for the five minutes that they got him in there for.

"S-Suga! It is freezing! L-let me go!" Kuroo shouted, struggling with Suga for a moment.

But the thing was, there was no way out. Kuroo could try, he could push Suga out of the way or try to get around him, but Suga wasn't going to budge and he certainly wasn't going to leave Kuroo alone to this misery, or get out of it for that matter. "No, Kuroo! Listen to me! The only way I'm letting you get out of this shower is if you agree to let me help get you sober," he said, latching the door so Kuroo couldn't just get out of it if he wanted to.

Kuroo tried to get out of the stream of the water, but the way Suga had pulled him in, the water was running directly down his back and he was shivering in the cold stream of water. Suga wasn't getting a lot of the water. Maybe if he was getting wet like Kuroo, he would want to get out too. Kuroo gave him an angry look and he reached for Suga, who had initially tried to pull away from Kuroo, but two could play this game. There wasn't just one tricky person in the shower.

Successfully grabbing Suga's wrists, he pulled the boy against himself and they were skin to skin. Kuroo's back was still taking most of the stream of water, but Suga was now feeling a bit of the water and he was seeing just how cold it was.

The thing was though, Kuroo wasn't getting the reaction he thought he would. "You can pull me in the water as much as you want to, I'm not going to change my mind," Suga said as he stayed against Kuroo. "Agree to let me help you get sober again, and I will talk to Akaashi about letting you see Bo. That is all you have to do, got it?"

Letting out a whine and shaking his head, he closed his eyes and tilted his head back. This wasn't what he wanted at all, honestly. All he wanted to do was go back to drinking and ignoring his problems. "But I can't do this! I don't want to deal with the pain of all of this life anymore! Alcohol drowns my pain!" Kuroo said and he let out another whine, which turned quickly into crying and he sniffled a bit. "Suga... I don't want to have to deal with this anymore! Please don't make me go through this..."

"You won't be going through it alone. It's going to be hard, but you know what? I am going to be here with you every step of the way," Suga said as he looked up to Kuroo.

The pair were in the shower for about a minute now and their bodies were starting to shake. They were losing their body heat and neither of them could conserve body heat all that well. "But I don't think you understand..." Kuroo said as he reached to rub his eyes. It wasn't much of a help, because his arms were wet and he was just making his face more wet, but he was pretending that he was getting the tears off of his face. "Alcohol is the only thing that makes this easier..."

Shaking his head, Suga smiled. "That's not true, is it? There are other things that you know can make this easier and you know it. There were other things that helped you through getting sober the first time. I know that I can't replace Bokuto, but I'm sure as hell going to try to," Suga said and he pressed his face against Kuroo's shoulder. "So, what do you say? Can we get out of the shower? Or are you going to let us freeze in here because you don't want to go without alcohol?" Suga asked as he pulled his face away from Kuroo's soft skin.

Finally, Suga was rejoicing a little as he felt Kuroo nod. "I wo-won't promise that it will happen quickly, but... I-I'll try, okay?" Kuroo said. He was shaking because of the water and because he was crying. Suga slid out of Kuroo's arms and went to turn the water off.

Once the water was done falling, Suga turned and looked at Kuroo, frowning a bit. "Hey, let's go get warm and get some rest, yeah? I'm sure we will both sleep well," Suga said as he unlatched the shower, pushing the door open and helping Kuroo get out before him. They both went to Kuroo's shelving unit with all of the towels in it and they each took a towel. Kuroo had used all of the nicer towels and they had to use smaller, rattier towels because Kuroo really needed to do laundry. But Suga wasn't too worried about that in the moment. He just wanted them to get warm and get to bed.

At the very least, he wanted Kuroo to get to bed so he could go get the apartment cleaned up and get all of the alcohol down the drain so Kuroo couldn't be tempted anymore. "Suga, can I have pain medicine at least...?" he asked and Suga hummed, thinking. There were non-addictive pain killers out there and he was sure there were some in his car, but if Kuroo wanted to take his own, he would have to check them himself.

"What do you want them for?" Suga asked as they walked into Kuroo's room. Suga didn't think this through, because he would have to go put his shorts on without boxers now. Kuroo could change his clothes, but Suga didn't have anything with him. He could manage without boxers for one night he figured, though. It wouldn't be the end of the world.

After fidgeting with his towel and letting it fall with the rest of the clutter in his room and he dropped his shorts without too much thought. He took his boxers off too and went into his dresser to get warmer clothing to change into. After he pulled back on his boxers, he turned back to Suga.

Suga swung back in a whirl, which was odd, but Kuroo didn't think too much about it. "I-I have a headache," Kuroo said as he pulled his long-sleeved shirt on and he pulled on a pair of sweats. "The meds are on the counter right now..." 

With a bit of a sigh, Suga nodded and he smiled. "Okay, I'll go get you some. But after that, we are going to get ourselves to sleep, okay?" Suga asked and Kuroo twitched.

Even though Kuroo knew that deep down, he needed to get himself sober and accept Suga's help, the really just wanted Suga to leave. He wanted everything to just go away. What Suga didn't know was that there was a bottle of vodka in his closet and a case of beer under the bed. The moment he walked away, Kuroo would go get them.

"Actually, come with me, okay? I don't want to struggle looking for them and leave you alone for too long. I don't want you to think that I've abandoned you, yeah? I'm not going to leave you," Suga said.

Kuroo made a face and he sat on the bed, shaking his head. "I'm just tired, Suga... Maybe I don't need the pain killers after all. But can you go turn off the bathroom light and-“

Suga let out a bit of a laugh. "It's already off. I turned it off on the way out," Suga said. It seemed that Suga had this all thought out and he wasn't going to let Kuroo slip again. "So we can just get ready for bed," he said and Suga slowly walked out of the room, but he left the door open. The bathroom was directly across from Kuroo's room and Suga could easily turn around and see what he was doing.

Well that was just great, because now Kuroo couldn't get his alcohol even if he wanted to. "I'm just going to close the door for a minute, okay?" Suga said and Kuroo nodded as he watched.

The door closed, and it was instinctive for Kuroo to reach for the beer under his bed. It was just a reflex and he pulled the bottle out, took off the top and he set the cap on the nightstand table. He was really a mess at the moment, but Kuroo honestly didn't care.

It took the silvery blond boy less time than Kuroo thought it would, simply because Suga hadn't put his shirt back on. The door was open and Kuroo was just about to take a sip from the beer. "Kuroo! No, don't you dare!" he shouted as he ran towards and into the bedroom.

He hadn't gotten a full sip, but he did get a taste in his mouth before Suga had ripped the bottle out of his hand. The bottle had spilled on the floor a bit, but Suga really didn't care at the moment. He cared about Suga not getting that alcohol and not drinking again.

"This tells me that I can't leave you alone," Suga said in an annoyed voice as he took the bottle to Kuroo's dresser. He set it down before he looked at Kuroo once again and put his hands on his hips. "What other alcohol do you have in here?”

Kuroo winced and he shook his head. "Suga... Please..." he whispered and he looked at Suga with a broken expression. "I don't want you to watch me fall again... But I can't do this.."

That was such a bullshit answer, and Kuroo and Suga both knew it. Letting out a sigh, Suga came closer to Kuroo and he reached for his cheek again. "I won't have to watch you fall again if you let me help you. You agreed to let me help in the shower. This is me helping. Where is the rest of your alcohol?" Suga asked Kuroo and he sighed, pointing down to under the bed.

Honestly, he was just done with the struggle. He really didn't want Suga to have to fight with him, because there was no giving up in that boy. Everyone thought that there was no giving up in Kuroo, but Suga was a completely different breed. Once Suga had pulled the case of beer out and the half bottle of scotch out that Kuroo had forgotten about, Suga gave Kuroo a look. "Where else?" he asked as he took the beer out of Kuroo's reach and set the alcohol by the door.

It took Kuroo a moment of contemplation, but he knew that if he tried to resist, Suga would tear his room apart to find the other alcohol. "In the closet, th-there's a bottle of vodka..." he whispered, looked down to his hands.

Suga took that and he went to the closet. The clothes were mostly all on the floor in the closet at this point and Suga had a feeling that cleaning Kuroo's house would take more than just a few hours. It could possibly take two or three days, since Kuroo had pretty much destroyed his house.

He wondered how it had gotten that bad in just two days of drinking, but Suga didn't question it. He just wanted to get the alcohol far away from Kuroo. "Do you have anything else, Kuroo?" Suga asked and Kuroo shook his head.

There was something in Suga that told him that Kuroo was telling the truth, but he also didn't trust Kuroo to stay all alone, either. "Come with me. You can tell me the other places you have alcohol. It's all going away," Suga said.

Those words were frightening to Kuroo, but he slowly stood up and he watched as Suga took the open bottle of beer and the rest of the alcohol out into the kitchen, even though it was a struggle to him. But Kuroo gave him props, since he managed. "Suga, does it all have to go...? Can't we save the rum and vodka...? I w-won't drink it... I just want them in case I have a party or something..." Kuroo said and Suga shook his head.

What did Suga have to do in order to get this through to Kuroo? He set the alcohol up on the counter and he looked to Kuroo as he opened the bottle of scotch. "You're not saving any of it. Even the more expensive stuff. It all has to go. You can't be around any of this," Suga said as he started to dump the bottle of vodka out into Kuroo's sink.

"Suga! No!" Kuroo said as he reached for Suga's wrist, but Suga put his body between the pouring hand and Kuroo, so he couldn't be stopped. "You're wasting it all! Someone else can take it, it doesn't all have to be dumped!"

"No one is awake to take it right now and I don't want you to be around it. So yes, it has to go down the drain," Suga said as he poured the rest of the bottle down the drain. Sure, it wasn't what Kuroo had initially wanted to save, but it was still getting Suga's point across. Kuroo leaned against the counter and Suga could see tears welling in his eyes. "We will find other things to replace this stuff with, okay?" Suga said as he reached to run his hand through Kuroo's wet mop of hair and he smiled to the boy as well.

It was a long night and Suga was busy dumping alcohol for half of it, but the pair finally retired to Kuroo's bed and they went to go relax finally. Suga didn't dare fall asleep until he knew for certain that Kuroo was asleep, just in case Kuroo had other alcohol in the apartment that he didn't tell Suga about. When Kuroo was in this state, there was absolutely no way that he was going to trust Kuroo. He cared about him, but he didn't give him his trust when he was back to being an alcoholic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I am not promoting drinking or anything of that sort. Do it as a recreation and do so lightly, be sure you're safe at all times and do not go as far as Kuroo goes in this fic.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I've been a little scattered lately, which is why this chapter may seem a little out of place or just doesn't fit with the flow. I'm sorry, I'm rather disappointing. Again, though, I do not condone becoming an alcohol. Please talk to somebody if you think you have a problem with drinking, and do not go out drinking and then try to drive after.

_I want to be able to count on you. I want to know that I can come to you when I'm having problems and when I need to talk to someone. I just want to know that I have a bro to lean on when things get hard. But lately, you really haven't been that person. We can't go to you for the most basic of things, and that breaks my heart..._

\---

The following morning, Suga woke up to Kuroo sprinting out of bed and to his bathroom. Ideally, this wouldn't happen. In a perfect world, Suga would wake up to seeing that beautiful head of hair, peacefully sleeping next to him. This wasn't a perfect world, though. Right now, it didn't seem to be a decent world, when Kuroo had been tempted back into alcoholism and had fallen into its trap.

It seemed pretty bad at the moment.

The world also wasn't perfect because Suga slept in the chair. One, he wasn't sure how comfortable Kuroo would be sleeping next to someone. Two, Suga wasn't comfortable sleeping next to Kuroo when he smelled like the booze he smelled like. He would gladly sleep next to Kuroo if there was no alcohol involved. If Suga got his way, the world would be entirely differently and there would be no alcohol to speak of in their house right now.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Suga stood from the chair and walked towards the bathroom, only to find Kuroo crouched over the toilet bowl and emptying his guts into it. Suga wasn't exactly fond of seeing or hearing Kuroo get sick like this, but Suga vowed to himself that he would see this through and he would be there for Kuroo no mater what. "Let it out, Kuroo," Suga murmured as he started to rub the boy's back and try his best to comfort him. He really wanted Kuroo to be okay through all of this.

The taller boy had shook his head as he continued to lurch his stomach contents into the toilet bowl. This was the dangers of alcoholism. Really, this was just the dangers of Kuroo being near anything addicting. As bad as Suga felt for thinking this way, he was glad that Kuroo hadn't gotten a hold on drugs or something worse than alcohol. Suga continued to rub Kuroo's back and he tried to relax him as best as he could. There really wasn't much that Suga could do at the moment. Really, there wasn't much anyone could to, but hopefully having someone there would help Kuroo to know that he could do this and he didn't have to be alone through the worst of it.

It seemed as though the worst of this was all over, and Suga pulled away for a short moment to reach for a cloth to clean Kuroo up. He grabbed two of them, because while Kuroo was busy, Suga noted that Kuroo had been doing more than vomiting into the toilet. Kuroo was rather sweaty, and Suga knew that sweats could be a symptom of alcohol withdrawal. "Can we get you cleaned up and back to bed?" Suga asked quietly.

Kuroo looked up and reached for one of the cloths from Suga. "What time is it...?" he asked.

Suga really had no idea. But if he had to guess, it was still four in the morning. The sun wasn't up yet, and Suga felt exhaustion rolling over himself still. "It's still pretty early. We have time left to sleep. I took of the day from work and I can take off more time if you need me," Suga said quietly.

When the realization hit Kuroo, he sighed as he felt Suga started to wipe his forehead. He leaned into the touch, because he felt gross. Suga could tell that Kuroo wanted to get cleaned up, but the exhaustion was still apparent on Kuroo's face, too. He had actually started to drift asleep as Suga continued to clean him up, which Suga had to tap his cheek a few times to get him to wake back up. "Let’s go back to sleep..." Kuroo said.

Finally, once all of the cleaning up was done, Suga had to help Kuroo stand. He turned on the hall light and turned off the bathroom light. Suga knew that Kuroo could manage to get himself around his own apartment, but Suga really wasn't brave enough to navigate the parts of Kuroo's apartment that he hadn't been in before last night. Once they were in Kuroo's room, he brought Kuroo to bed and helped him get in it, tucking the boy in and watching as Kuroo fell asleep. "Goodnight, Kuroo..."

Once Kuroo was back asleep, Suga noticed that the time was about 4:30 and he sighed, going to turn off the hall light so they could sleep in the dark. Coming back to the room, he crawled back into the chair, hoping that tomorrow, Suga would be able to sleep in the bed next to Kuroo.

Shaking his head, Suga had to ask himself just why he was thinking like that. It really wasn't like him to wish to sleep next to someone like that. He saw himself as a free spirit that really didn't need to hook himself onto anyone else. But there was a part of himself that wanted to have someone to call his own. Daichi didn't work out for him because Daichi was always too busy and they just had too much in common to date, even though they were great friends. They were best that way. Suga tried to date females, but he realized after a little while that he wasn't exactly straight. Sure, he was positive that if the right girl came along, he could find something about them to love and he was sure that Suga could make it work. But Suga just seemed to have a preference for the males. He liked someone strong and able to hold him at night when the darkness came.

Eventually, Suga had tried to date others outside of his realm, but he just couldn't find the right person. At one point, he thought he was just destined to be alone and he would never find someone to love on and care for him. He knew how crazy that sounded and how pitiful that really was, but it was just how he felt for a while. He was still kind of stuck in that dark place, thinking that he wouldn't find someone. Now he thought he still deserved to be happy and find someone to love on, but he still wasn't sure that he ever would. That was why it really surprised him that he had thought those things about Kuroo, even for the briefest of moments. He wondered if he could really see himself being with Kuroo.

Taking a moment, Suga had to think about other things so he could get his mind off of Kuroo and how well Kuroo could love him and how great they would look together if they ended up in a relationship. It was hard not to think about how everyone could be envious of the two of them and how they would talk about the pair. Suga really just wanted people to talk about them and how good they seemed to look together.

After another few hours, Suga had woken up to the feeling of buzzing, which had been coming from the pocket of the sweatshirt he had stolen from Kuroo to keep warm. He had slid his phone in it, and Suga had always had an alarm set to wake him up. He just hadn't turned it off and he was kicking himself for not taking the alarm off, since it could have possibly woken Kuroo. After Suga scrambled to turn off the buzzing, loud phone alarm off, he glanced over to Kuroo with an eyebrow raised, in hopes that Kuroo hadn't woken up to the sound.

Luckily for Suga, it didn't seem to have any sort of effect on the sleeping, raven-haired male.

The alarm meant that Suga was awake, though, and he wasn't going to go back to sleep in the uncomfortable position he had bawled himself up in. He was already very uncomfortable and he was likely to get a neck or backache if he slept in this position any longer. Slowly standing up, Suga went to go check on Kuroo and looked him over. Kuroo was sound asleep, but Suga frowned, because he seemed to be having a dream about something. Kuroo was also still sweating, which meant that he was still in the process of sobering up. It wouldn't happen in just one night, Suga knew, but he just wished there was a way to help the process along and ease some of the symptoms.

Either way, Kuroo seemed to be sleeping soundly still, which gave Suga the ability to go get a shower. He felt a bit grimy from going through all of Kuroo's stuff the following evening, making sure he wasn't hiding more alcohol. Unfortunately, Suga had found other bottles of vodka and gin in the hall closet. He also found some beer in the refrigerator and he found alcohol mixes in the pantry. Suga had gotten rid of it all. He won't lie, he was tempted to have a few sips of the vodka he found. But that was going against the goal of everything he was doing.

Making his way to the bathroom, Suga stripped down and he got into the shower. He was just glad to have the freedom to take a shower. In another hour or so, he wouldn't have the same chance, but he would take this opportunity right now. The only reason he wouldn't have this chance again was because Suga was reluctant to let Kuroo stay all alone as he showered. He wanted to trust Kuroo, but Suga just wasn't at that place at the moment. Kuroo would gain his trust after the first few days of being sober and Suga saw some actual improvements to his condition.

Rinsing himself off, Suga was content with the shower and he smiled at the thought of using Kuroo's shampoo and body wash. Suga smelled like Kuroo now, which he was happy about on a subconscious level. He wasn't exactly sure why he was so happy about all of this, but he really was, and he would take it.

After Suga rinsed himself off, he grabbed a towel of Kuroo's and wrapped it around his waste after he dried off. He hadn't brought clothes inside, so he would have to borrow something of Kuroo's for the time being. He hoped Kuroo didn't care, although he had a feeling that Kuroo really wouldn't mind.

Once he got into Kuroo's room, he found Kuroo sitting up, rubbing his head and frowning to himself. Was Kuroo okay? Did he have a headache? Suga was a bit worried, but he was also worried that Kuroo would see him naked. Sure, Suga wasn't insecure about his body. He had changed in the boy's locker room at school for years for gym He had also had volleyball, and he had changed in front of Kuroo before. But Suga was just worried that Kuroo wasn't entirely ready for this yet, due to his state.

"Suga, where's... I need pain pills..." Kuroo said, still rubbing his head and looking over at a naked Suga, who was still covered with just a towel. That was the other thing Suga had done. He had put away all of the dangerous substances and object that Kuroo could get a hold on. During his last attempt to get clean, Kuroo had tried been in enough pain that he had tried to overdose on pain killers. Suga remembered that day like a nightmare, watching Bokuto shove his fingers down Kuroo's throat and squeezing on his gut to get him to vomit the pills up. Luckily enough, Kuroo was fine after that attempt at suicide, and Bokuto had gotten him to agree to never to try and kill himself again. Unfortunately, Bokuto wasn't here right now, but Suga was hoping that he was enough.

Coming closer, Suga bit his lip and he reached up to Kuroo's cheek to pat it gently. "I can get you two, babe. But I put them away for safe keeping," Suga had said, smiling gently and sadly. He could see it on Kuroo's face. The boy was not amused.

Giving off a rather intimidating look, Kuroo was nearly glaring at Koushi. "Safe keeping? Am I not trusted with basic pain killers anymore? I have a headache," Kuroo said.

It was exactly what Kuroo had said. Suga really didn't trust him with anything of the sort. He didn't want anything bad to happen. "You can get them back once we get you sober, dear. But you need a break from those types of things." Suga was really just doing his best here. He was only one person, and Suga wasn't sure he could actually handle it all on his own.

Standing up, Suga went to Kuroo's dresser and he pulled out a pair of sweatpants and he grabbed a shirt. He also stole a pair of boxers from Kuroo, hoping that the boy really didn't mind. Suga slipped the boxers on under the towel, then he let the towel fall to the ground and he pulled the sweats and tee on. Suga turned back to Kuroo, who seemed to be pouting and still holding his head. "Can you go get me some, then? This headache is killer..." Kuroo said glumly.

Nodding, Suga smiled as he left the room and went to where he was hiding the pain killers. He figured that Kuroo would look in the obvious places, so Suga hid a lot of the stuff where Kuroo kept his shoes and bags, right around the corner. He threw a hand towel over the stuff, too, just trying to make it seem inconspicuous. Suga hadn't really put too much thought into the hiding place, but it was good enough for right then and there.

Once he had grabbed two pain pills Suga grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and went back to the bedroom. Kuroo still looked miserable when Suga walked back in, but that was going to happen regardless of what was going on right now. Kuroo was probably more than miserable. Sure, he hadn't been an alcoholic as long this time around. Suga had only let it go for a few days before he had checked up on Kuroo. But still, Kuroo was probably still as miserable as he had been the first time he had gone through this.

Taking the pills and bottle of water to Kuroo, he handed them over and gave Kuroo a gentle smile. "I'm not a child, you know. I don't have to have things locked up and hidden from me. If I want them bad enough, I'll just go out and buy more," Kuroo said, and that told Suga that Kuroo was definitely not in a great mood. He knew Kuroo wasn't in a good mood, but Suga wished there was a way to get him in a better mood at the very least.

"I'll tell you what. I'll tell you where that stuff is tonight after we go out shopping and we buy a little lock box to keep anything I find too dangerous in." Suga really was just doing his best to keep the taller lad as safe as he possibly could. Suga wouldn't forgive himself if anything happened to Kuroo, just because he was in denial subconsciously that he was in love with Kuroo. He really was in love with the boy, but he didn't realize his feelings just yet.

Letting out a sigh, Kuroo collapsed back onto the bed and he shook his head. But he knew that this was the only way he was getting his stuff back, so he had to agree. "Fine, we can do that I guess," Kuroo murmured quietly. He wasn't happy about any of this, but he figured the more he cooperated, the quicker he would get his stuff back. That was, if Suga didn't catch onto the fact that Kuroo was trying to fool him.

Suga sighed in return to Kuroo's words and he laid down on the bed next to Kuroo, giving Kuroo a bit of a sad look. He knew this had to be hard, but he just wanted Kuroo to let him in so he could help with all of this. That was what everyone had wanted the first time, too, and only Bokuto could get Kuroo to break down his walls.

But Bokuto was in a coma still.

"What would Bo say about all of this, Kuroo? He wouldn't be very impressed with you, would he?" Suga asked. He knew it was a dirty tactic, but if throwing the disapproval of his best friend in Kuroo's face would work, he had to try it. "Just imagine what he would have to say. He might not be here right now, but the second he finds out about this, how disappointed do you think he's going to be?"

Those words had hit Kuroo like a train and it was probably the hungover state he was in currently, but he let out a bit of a wail and he looked at Suga with a very sad look on his face. "H-he really wouldn't be happy..." Kuroo said, trying to hide his face. Suga could still see it, but he knew that Kuroo needed time to wrap his mind around all of this and to understand that gravity his actions had.

Everyone was worried about Kuroo, but they really didn't have the same time they had before to help him sober up. For one, everyone had gotten more serious jobs and had moved away from the towns they once lived in, so the time they were all available was different, and the commute to the area was a big difference. Two, Bokuto was their main focus with the time they had to spare from their busy lives. Everyone cared that Bokuto was hurt and still in a coma, so very few of them had time to worry about Kuroo breaking his sobriety. Suga was one that genuinely cared about Kuroo and the fact that he had gone back to being an alcoholic, but the others very clearly did not have the same attitude about this.

Seeing that Kuroo was breaking down, Suga frowned and reached over to Kuroo, doing his best to wrap his arms around him, Kuroo had sunk down to Suga's level and he had actually pressed his face into Suga's chest. "We can get you all sober by the time he wakes up, so he doesn't have to know a thing. Or, you can tell him, but then you will get to see how proud he is for you getting sober again," Suga said quietly, rubbing Kuroo's back gently.

Continuing to cry, Kuroo grasped onto Suga's side and he did his best to maintain his composure. But unfortunately, it just wasn't working. Kuroo wasn't keeping himself together at all. But he thought, what exactly was the point of trying to keep himself together? Hadn't Suga been there to help put him back into one whole piece again?

The angst side of him was telling him that the reason he didn't have to stay together was because Bokuto wasn't there to help him. Or really, there was no point to staying together if Bokuto wasn't there to help him once again. It was a sad thought, but Kuroo really needed Bokuto in his life. He needed Bokuto there to help him cope and survive through the dangerous world. All he needed was that support and push to keep on living. Bokuto did that for him.

After about five minutes of Suga shushing Kuroo and rubbing his back while Kuroo's face was in his chest, Suga had finally gotten the taller boy to a place where he was calming himself down. It wasn't easy, and Suga knew that if Bokuto were there, he could have gotten it done in a quarter of the time. But Bokuto wasn't there, and that was the entire reason they were even in this mess. Suga sighed gently and shook his head for even thinking that way, for wanting to place blame. It was wrong of him to want to place blame on a coma patient, too, but wasn't this his fault?

Indirectly, it was his fault, but it was Kuroo's alcoholism that had to be the real thing to blame. If Kuroo hadn't had alcoholism, there wouldn't be a problem to talk about. Sure, Kuroo would have likely gotten mad about this situation, but he would have also found other ways to get through this. He wouldn't have scared Akaashi so much to get him to want to ban Kuroo from the hospital. He would have been at Bokuto's bedside and he would have known just how Bokuto was doing himself.

"We should get you something to eat, yeah? I want you getting the right nutrients and I want to make sure you're taking care of yourself." Suga really didn't mind taking care of Kuroo, but for one, if he wasn't going to be here for very long, it would make him feel better if he knew that Kuroo was taking care of himself properly. Two, if he was going to be there longer, if he had to leave, he wanted to make sure Kuroo was still doing things correctly.

Nodding, Kuroo had finally pulled away and he made himself sit up. "Food... I'm actually not very hungry, but..." Suga watched as Kuroo's wheels were churning in his brain and he could see the way Kuroo was trying to think. It was probably difficult, due to the fact that Kuroo had a headache and Suga couldn't imagine the other things he was feeling right now. "I have soup I could heat to eat... I guess..." Kuroo was doing his best. Suga definitely appreciated it and it was starting to make him feel better about the prospect of leaving Kuroo alone at some point.

Standing up himself, Suga went to the other side of the bed to pull Kuroo along so they could get themselves to the kitchen and make him some soup. Suga wasn't exactly feeling soup at the moment, but he would do the soup if it was something that Kuroo needed. He didn't want to upset the taller male by doing something unexpected or something that Kuroo used to be able to do, but now couldn't.

Honestly, Suga didn't know where his brain was this morning, so he had to try to focus on something other than the things buzzing around in his brain. "Soup it is, dear. We will get you some soup, we can get you eating and hopefully feeling better. Just remember, we should also get you out and about today. Shopping needs to happen to, yes?" Suga asked as he went to the kitchen. Suga knew that grocery shopping needed to happen at the very least. He also needed to go buy a lock box to put those items in that he deemed to be too dangerous for Kuroo to be around at the moment.

It was obviously a lot to ask. Suga was watching as Kuroo went from normal to glum, which really wasn't very encouraging. But Suga really had faith in Kuroo. He just wanted to make sure that Kuroo was being safe. As Suga went to the pantry to get out the can of soup, Kuroo had hopped up onto the counter and watched as Suga started to cook. He swung his legs in a way that gave Suga an ache that he couldn't explain. He had a feeling that the ache was because Suga really wanted to be with the boy more than he had realized. He wanted to see those cute motions all the time and he wanted to be the cause of them. Suga was just trying his best to keep himself composed as he cooked up the soup.

After he got the soup into the pan, Suga turned to Kuroo, watching as the boy looked at his hands and started to make a face. "Suga, why are you really here...?" Kuroo asked as he looked up to Suga, getting a curious look out of the silvery-blond boy. That was definitely the thing in question, wasn't it?

It took some thinking, and Suga had to ask himself why he was really there. He had to ask himself why he cared so much that Kuroo was back to being an alcoholic. Hadn't he answered this question already? Deep down, Suga knew there was a real reason for him being around Kuroo and wanting to help the boy out, but it wasn't a genuine and pure answer. The real reason he wanted to be there was because, deep down, Suga knew that he was falling for this boy. Suga knew that he had a serious crush on Kuroo that couldn't be kept down to himself. He just had a need that only Kuroo could satisfy, it seemed.

But then again, that entire idea was too deep down for Suga to even see and realize fully. It was his subconscious mind that was telling him that he wanted these things. His fully aware brain was telling him to stop making Kuroo out to be something else and he was only there to help, nothing else. He wondered why he wanted Kuroo more than just a friend, anyway. Wouldn't being a boyfriend to a chemist that had to work late nights in a lab be stressful anyway? Suga wasn't sure he could handle that kind of drama, honestly.

"Why am I here? I care about you, Tetsurou. I care about your health and well being and it pains me to know that you're going through this again. No one else was stepping in to be a friend to you, so I thought that maybe it would be a good idea for me to jump in and help. Are you okay that I'm coming here to help you?" Suga asked, looking at Kuroo as he stirred the soup that he had in the pan on the stove.

Kuroo was more than grateful, really, but that thought was also subconscious. On the surface, he was a bit frustrated that Suga was getting in the way of him trying to feel better about this whole Bokuto thing. On the surface, he was telling his inner thoughts and mind to stop interfering with everything that he was feeling, trying to make an inner conflict. There didn't have to be conflict at all. All he wanted to do was to get through this tragedy without being interrupted, the way he knew how. "It's just hard, Suga. I know that it's not healthy, but the alcohol makes everything get fuzzy and it makes me feel better. Why don't you want me to feel better? Why do you want me to suffer?"

That question wasn't exactly fair. Kuroo knew that Suga wasn't there to make him suffer, but on the surface, that was what it seemed like. "I'm not here to make you suffer, Kuroo..." Suga said quietly, turning his back to Kuroo and focusing on the soup.

After a moment, Kuroo got off the counter and he started to head back to his bedroom, leaving Suga there to make the soup and worry further about Kuroo. Sighing gently, Suga just kept on working on cooking, but his mind was invaded of thoughts of Kuroo being upset with him.

It didn't take much longer for the soup to be finished. Suga went back to the bedroom to find Kuroo sitting on the bed. The sight made Suga gasp, as he saw Kuroo holding onto a small bottle of some sort of liquor. "Kuroo! No, you can't!" Suga said, going towards Kuroo and reaching for the bottle. Unfortunately, Kuroo stood up and he put the bottle out of Suga's reach with his hand. "I'm trying to help you! Kuroo, if you go back to drinking..."

"What will you do? No one cares! They aren't going to hold me responsible. Or if they do, they don't care enough to try to help me! Don't you see? No one cares about m-"

"I do! I care! That's why I'm here!" Suga said in an angry voice, giving Kuroo quite the look for even suggesting that he didn't care. "I care about you and I want to help you! I don't want you to become the alcoholic you were before, when we couldn't come to you about things, when we watched you waste your life and money on booze..." This was hitting Suga very hard and he kept trying to reach for the little bottle of alcohol in Kuroo's hand. It was upsetting to Suga to think that Kuroo thought that nobody cared, when he really did care.

If Suga had his way, he would make everyone care that Kuroo was back to his old ways. He would make them all care that Kuroo was back to hurting himself and no one would rest until Kuroo was back to being his old, caring self. But unfortunately, Suga didn't have the same power over everyone that Bokuto did. Before, when Bokuto had told them that something had to be done, everyone agreed. Now, Suga wasn't too sure that he could get everyone to agree that something had to be done to help Kuroo. They would be too focused on Bokuto getting better to worry about Kuroo.

Scoffing, Kuroo wasn't letting down his defenses for a second. He actually tried to hold Suga back as he brought the bottle down closer to his lips. It was really unsettling to see that Kuroo would try to stop Suga, who was only trying to help him. But if Suga had to guess, he really didn't see it like that. Kuroo could only try to see that Suga was trying to take away the thing that was making him feel better about the entire situation with Bokuto. He saw it as Suga making his life more difficult, which was the furthest thing from true.

The bottle edge made it to Kuroo's lips and he was nearly successful in tipping it down his throat to drink more of that delicious, helpful liquid, but he jumped when he felt his hand get bitten by something. Someone, or something for that matter, had bitten him, and caused him to want to yell out in pain.

As much as Suga didn't want to, he had only done it for Kuroo's own good. Suga had bitten Kuroo's hand and got him to move his arm, so Suga could jump on Kuroo and pull the bottle of alcohol away from him. That was really all that Suga had wanted to do, just so he could get Kuroo onto the path to sobriety once again. If he was drinking without Suga knowing, Suga didn't know what he was doing there and how he was helping.

Standing up from Kuroo and walking away with the bottle of tequila that Kuroo had been trying to drink, he started mumbling to himself about not wanting to hurt Kuroo and wondering if he was being more damaging than helpful during all of this. He wouldn't know for quite some time, but he was just hoping that he was helpful to Kuroo at least a little bit. Going to the bathroom, Suga dumped the contents of the bottle down the drain. That was the only thing he could do with all of this alcohol and Kuroo had hidden around the apartment.

Finally, Suga went back to the bedroom to find Kuroo curled up on the bed, sobbing quietly to himself and holding his hand. Suga didn't think he had bitten him very hard, but maybe it was harder than he realized in the heat of the moment. It really wasn't meant to hurt him, just surprise him enough that Suga could get the alcohol away from him. "Tetsu... Did I actually hurt you?" Suga asked as he came closer.

Kuroo nodded and Suga sighed, coming to push the hair out of his face. "I don't want to see you!" Kuroo yelled and Suga jumped back a little, standing there and freezing out of shock. He knew that it wasn't really Kuroo talking, but Suga slowly backed away, going to lean against the wall by the door. "G-go! I don't want you here!" Kuroo yelled, rolling over harshly to turn his back to Suga.

Apparently, Suga was doing more harm than good at the moment, which made him feel worse about this situation. But if he had to be honest to himself, he would say he was actually doing a decent job. Suga backed out of the room and he would have to go back and check on Kuroo every few moments just to be sure that Kuroo wasn't digging out another bottle of something.

This entire situation was painful for Suga to have to go through, but then he started to get upset for thinking like that. Kuroo had to have it so much worse at the moment and Suga knew it. What was wrong with Suga? Sighing gently, Suga went to get himself a bowl of soup, since Kuroo wasn't going to eat it, and he went into the living room, going to ask Daichi to go get a lock box for him, since he wasn't going to be likely to leave anytime soon.

He started to text with Daichi when he heard a very precarious sound come from the bedroom, which made Suga jump up and get more than curious. He had to know what it was. Getting to the room, Suga was greeted with a very unpleasant sight. Honestly, he wasn't sure what to do in the moment.

The thing he had witnessed was Kuroo curled onto the bed, burning himself with a match. "Kuroo, no... You know that you can't do this to yourself..." Suga said coming in. The sound he had heard was apparently the sound of Kuroo striking a match, because the match was already lit and Kuroo was holding it to his skin, trying to burn himself.

Coming in quickly, he reached and pulled the match out of Kuroo's hand and he watched as Kuroo shook his head. There were still tears in his eyes, and he looked up to Suga, who was giving him a sad look right at the moment. "I m-miss him, Suga... h-he needs to come back to me..."

Letting out a sad sigh, Suga climbed over Kuroo in the bed and he tried to pull Kuroo into him again like he had done this morning, but Kuroo wasn't moving. He was more than content to just lay there and cry. This wasn't a very pleasant thing to be going through, Suga knew. But at the same time, everyone else was dealing with it too. Suga was still going through the same thing Kuroo was, even though it was more difficult on Kuroo. Sure, Kuroo was hurting a little harder than most everyone else, just because Kuroo and Bokuto had been best friends longer than either of them could remember. But Kuroo had to put himself in Akaashi's shoes, too.

At least, Suga thought that Kuroo had little right to behave like this when Akaashi was keeping it together and he and Bokuto were dating. Did Kuroo not see it that way? Sure, Kuroo and Bokuto had a bond that no one could really explain, but they weren't dating. They didn't have the same romantic connection that Kou and Keiji had. "He will come back. At least, I believe. He doesn't want to leave you just as much as you didn't want him to leave you. He's going to pull through all of this and he is going to come back better than ever."

"B-but what will he s-say when he finds out I broke...?" Kuroo asked, still not letting into Suga, who was still trying to pull him gently into his chest. Suga hummed in thought, wondering just what Bokuto would do when he found out that Kuroo had gone back to being an alcoholic.

Knowing Bokuto, he would hit Kuroo up the side of the head and tell him that he was an idiot. He would ask Kuroo just what he was thinking and tell him off for breaking his sobriety that everyone had worked so hard to get him into. "You know what? He doesn't have to know. You might want to tell him one day, when he wakes up and he's all better, but you don't have to tell him right now. Let him go on being happy, knowing you were there for him."

"B-but I haven't been there for him! A-akaashi won't let me see him..." Kuroo said, finally giving in just a little bit to Suga and leaning back into his chest. It was good enough for Suga. He just had to show Kuroo that he was there for the boy. He didn't want Kuroo to think he was all alone.

It was true that Kuroo wasn't allowed to see Bokuto in this state, but that didn't mean that they couldn't find out just how he was doing. It didn't mean that Suga couldn't find out from Akaashi or Komi. Konoha was probably there, too. They had ways of finding things out. But Suga didn't want to get Kuroo's hopes up about getting to go see him. Although, his mind was telling him otherwise at the moment. "You know what? Akaashi is just protecting his boy. But that shouldn't stop us from being able to see him. We are going to go in a couple of days and show him that you are all sober, and he will have to let you in."

That was just a pipe dream at the moment and Suga wasn't going to hold his breath on that, but he had to do something to get Kuroo to want to work on his sobriety. "We're going to get you all sober and Akaashi will see that he doesn't have to worry about you anymore, so he will let you in to see Bokuto."

Suga was playing a very dangerous game. He couldn't just guarantee that Kuroo being sober for a couple of days would change Akaashi's mind about letting Kuroo in so he could see Bokuto. But he would beg Akaashi and get others to help him change his mind if he had to. Suga didn't want to be the one to let Kuroo down again.

When Kuroo started to sniffle and he let out a wailing noise, Suga rubbed his back and pulled him in closer to his chest, trying to show him that he was there for him. "You're okay, babe... I've got you, love..." Suga was hurting right now, just hearing how much Kuroo was really suffering through all of this. But he wasn't in Kuroo's shoes. He couldn't begin to understand what Kuroo was going through. It wasn't like Daichi was in the hospital. If he was, Suga wasn't sure he would be keeping it together any better. He was telling himself he wouldn't rely on alcohol to get through the hard nights, but he wasn't completely sure of what would happen, just because it hadn't happened yet.

As much as Suga wanted to get Kuroo up and get him to eat, maybe crying all of his emotions out was as good as anything. They still had time to get Kuroo to eat. Suga wasn't sure his stomach would be able to handle eating, anyway. If it was anything like last time, Suga couldn't be sure of anything. When they were working Kuroo towards getting sober last time, Kuroo fought it so hard that Suga couldn't bare to watch it any longer. He had wanted to stay, but he was just a sickening sight. Now that he was here, trying to get Kuroo sober again by himself, he wished he had stuck around the first time.

If only Kuroo could stop struggling against Suga and let him help, Kuroo would be that much closer to finding out that Bokuto was still in a coma, but his physical state was improving with every passing hour. If only things had gone different and Kuroo hadn't let alcohol guide him to becoming something he hated again, he would still be in the hospital right now, sitting right by Bokuto's bedside. But unfortunately, this was the place they were in and there was no going back anymore. They couldn't rewind the time and try to pretend none of this had happened.

It didn't take too long, but Kuroo was asleep again with Suga rubbing his sides and shushing him gently again. It was going to be difficult for the next few days, but Suga was going to be someone that Kuroo could rely on. No matter how little Suga trusted Kuroo when he was back to being a drunk, Suga would have to find a way to bring down his defenses so he could come to trusting Kuroo once again. "We'll get you through this..." Suga whispered, falling asleep himself while holding onto Kuroo.


	4. Chapter 4

_As much as I want to go to you for things, I really just haven't been able to. I think that sometimes, I might be able to, but I just don't want to be let down again. You're a really fun person to be around, but you're not the person I want to be around when you're drinking that poison. If this goes on any longer, Kuroo, I might have to end my broship with you... Everyone knows I don't want to do that, but I might have to if you're not going to be fun to be around anymore..._  
\---  
The room stayed still for a little while longer. There wasn't much movement, other than the breathing of the two boys, which had slowed significantly, simply because the boys were unconscious and asleep. They probably should have done their best to stay awake and not have fallen back asleep, but this was honestly what the two boys needed at the time.

Suga hadn't wanted to fall back asleep, but the exhaustion had just taken over completely while close to Kuroo. He had woken up before Kuroo, at the very least, to find that Kuroo was still sound asleep. Sitting up, the tired feeling he had been feeling left him, and Suga decided to get out of the bed. The other boy rolled into the heat that Suga had created in the bed, although it seemed as if the boy was looking for something more. He whined and reached for something solid to hold onto. When he was met with nothing, Kuroo whined a little, but stayed asleep. That was something Suga was grateful for.

The things that had been left out in the kitchen and all over the counter was a cringe-worthy sight. Nothing had been cleaned up after the soup was made, and usually, Suga was very careful about things like that. He liked being clean and orderly about things, and usually, that was the atmosphere that was kept around him. But things were just a bit too hairy for Suga at the moment, and Kuroo wasn't making things any easier. So his old habits were being pushed aside for the moment. But right now, he did want to clean up the things he had made a mess of.

After about an hour, the work was all done and things seemed to be much more orderly. At the very least, Suga was a bit happier about the space and he was glad he had the chance to clean up his mess. But now, he was coming to the realization that Kuroo hadn't had anything to eat yet. The taller man had to eat eventually, but Suga guessed that Kuroo would let Suga know when he was hungry enough to consume something. If Suga had to try to put things together, he was going to say that Kuroo wasn't eating regularly anyway. The alcohol was probably too consuming, and that was what it usually was.

Taking a deep breath, there was a noise that echoed through the kitchen. It wasn't a very bad sound, but it was just alarming, as things were rather quiet at the moment. Suga turned around and looked to see that Kuroo was standing there. "Hey," Suga said softly, watching as Kuroo rubbed his eye and stretched up a bit. Suga could see the way that Kuroo's shirt had pulled up at that moment, but he was pulled back into reality when Kuroo started to speak.

"I'm hungry," Kuroo murmured, coming further into the kitchen and going for the fridge. Suga's eyes lingered on Kuroo's backside as he stood there, and it was rather confusing that Suga was having these thoughts about Kuroo all of a sudden. He couldn't get his mind off of how Kuroo would look without a shirt on, although he had to force himself to stop thinking that way. "Was there leftover soup...?" Kuroo asked as he looked through the fridge.

Apparently, Suga hadn't put the soup in a place that Kuroo would have noticed it. But there was extra soup. Suga came over and pressed his chest and front to Kuroo's back and reached around. How Suga would kill to stay like this for much longer, but he simply could not. He grabbed the container of soup and pulled away from Kuroo. It seemed to be an action that Kuroo had been longing for too, not that the action really had meant anything. "Oh, okay," Kuroo has said softly, wondering just how long he had really wanted to feel a touch like that.

Suga had gone back to the stove and turned the burner back on, putting the rest of the soup in a pot to heat up. "How did you sleep?" Suga asked softly as he looked back to Kuroo, getting a bit of a grunt out of the boy. Not that Suga blamed him with the state he was in, but the sound was just an unpleasant sound.

A long sigh was let out into the air. "I slept okay, I guess... But I just can't stop thinking about Bokuto, you know? Also... As much as I don't want to, I keep thinking about alcohol..." Suga nodded to Kuroo's response, although he wondered what could be done.

The taller boy hoped back up onto the counter, which seemed to be a place that he liked to sit, Suga noticed. He came closer to Kuroo and was welcomed to stand between Kuroo's legs, which Suga had to do everything to not think about Kuroo in dangerous ways. His mind was cruel and he kept picturing the two of them doing unspeakable things, and they all just seemed so beautiful.

Either way, Suga was standing between Kuroo's legs and he smiled up to Kuroo, who had a confused look on his face. "You know, it's not going to happen instantly. But maybe we can distract you from thinking about these things?" Suga suggested, putting his hands on Kuroo's thighs. "I have a proposition for you."

What could the proposition be? What was Suga suggesting? There was no way to know what Suga had in mind until the boy told him, so it left Kuroo with a confused look. He put his hands on top of Suga's hands to keep him there. "What's the deal going to be?" Kuroo asked quietly.

It took a moment, but Suga stepped even closer and Kuroo could feel Suga on the inside of his thighs. He actually wanted to squeeze him and hold him tighter, but that might not have been appropriate right at the moment "Well, we can turn this into a reward system, if you're up for it? Meaning... The longer you go without alcohol, I can give you something for every day. A reward of sorts." Hearing those words come out of Suga seemed to be a rather dangerous things for Kuroo to hear. But the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to be rewarded by Suga.

Letting himself nod, Kuroo hummed a bit. "I might need that to get through all of this. What kind of rewards are you talking about though? Getting to go out and do things? Or... Bokuto updates?" Kuroo asked quietly. He was wondering what the rewards could be and why Suga was standing so close as he was.

Everyone seemed to pass over the fact of how beautiful Suga really was. Sure, he was cute and everyone knew that he was attractive. But they all took that for granted. The way the hair fell over his face and his beautiful hazel eyes made him glow. Just the smile that was on his face at times made Kuroo's heart jump a bit. What was it about this boy? "The rewards can be anything you want. Even more personal things, like... getting to be here like this with me," Suga said. It was the way he winked after he said that gave Kuroo a bit of a shock.

Here was the deal. It didn't take Suga long to slip away, but Kuroo was already captivated by the sweet, savory boy that was standing there, dancing his way to the stove. Kuroo wasn't sure what this boy wanted from him, nor was he sure that he wanted to find out. But the boy was just so _beautiful_ that Kuroo really wanted to find out what was next. "More personal? And anything I want, huh?" Kuroo asked. There was a hitch in his voice that had caught and he had to clear his throat. "What could you possibly... what could be more personal?"

The silence was so loud at the moment, as if the silence was screaming at Kuroo to tell him what exactly Suga had been hinting at. "I'm sure you can some up with something. Oh, and the longer you go with staying sober, the better the reward. Did I mention that?" Suga had said with a smile and he had wiggled his behind a bit.

Honestly, what Suga was suggesting to Kuroo was something that Suga didn't even know he had in him. He didn't know he could be teasing and he didn't realize that he had this much nerve with Kuroo. But he was also willing to try anything to keep Kuroo sober and get him back to normal again. If that meant winning Kuroo over with his body and doing things he wouldn't normally do to get Kuroo to sober up, that was what he was going to do. He was desperate, no matter how much his emotions were crying out to him to tell him that he had to be careful about doing things like this. "So if I go without alcohol the rest of the afternoon, we can go out shopping?" Kuroo asked.

That wasn't entirely what Suga had in mind, but that probably a good idea anyway. If Kuroo considered that to be a reward, he would certainly take Kuroo out shopping. "Sure thing, babe," Suga said as he stirred the soup. He tasted it and decided it was warm enough, going to go get a bowl for Kuroo to put the soup in for Kuroo.

The taller of the two had hopped down off the counter and he had gone towards the bathroom. Suga wasn't sure why he had gone to the bathroom, but Suga wasn't going to ask questions. He served up the soup and he waited for a few moments, before he realized that things were taking just a little too long. "Tetsurou? Your soup is done," he called to the bathroom and waited as Kuroo came back with a bandage on his arm, where he had been holding the match before. Suga had flinched a bit, forgetting that the burn was still there. He really did feel bad about letting that happen, but it was something that Kuroo would have to learn that he couldn't do.

"I just... put burn cream on it. I was in a bad place this morning. Thank you for stopping me, though," Kuroo had said as he reached for the bowl of soup. Letting himself out to the living room, he left Suga to stand in the kitchen. He wasn't there for long, but he did want to at least clean things up again. He was actually curious to know if Kuroo had noticed any of the extra work Suga had done, like cleaning up the mail and staking it in a neat pile, or the way he put the bread back in the bread box on Kuroo's counter.

It wasn't that Suga was looking for praise, he just wanted to know if Kuroo had noticed or if it was something that Suga didn't have to try to do as hard. He did want to clean up the rest of Kuroo's apartment, but that could wait for a while. Suga went to go join Kuroo in the living room and waited for him as Kuroo finished up his soup. "It's really good, Suga. Thank you for making this for me. I'm sorry I caused such stress this morning, though. I really don't know what I would do without you right now."

Those words were something that Suga didn't realize he needed to hear. It was just the validation of it all and Suga was good enough to be there with Kuroo while he helped out and he tried to get him sober. "You know, that was just the alcohol talking, and I really don't blame you for anything. It's your addiction I blame," Suga had said sweetly as he rubbed Kuroo's uninjured arm.

Kuroo really hadn't taken long to finish up his soup, which was a great thing, although it left the two of them to sit there in awkwardness for a little while. Suga had washed Kuroo's dish and had come back within ten minutes. It was all so awkward for a little while. "So, uh... have you heard anything about Bokuto yet?" Kuroo asked, trying to fill the silence.

Really, Suga was glad that Kuroo had said something, because it made the awkwardness of the situation disappear. "Oh, you know what? I can text Akaashi to see what the news is. I do want to keep you informed on all of that. It's kind of part of the reason I'm here," Suga said softly, shaking his head at the dumb moment he had just gone through. Yes, Bokuto was the real reason that Suga was with Kuroo at the moment.

The silvery-haired boy had started to text Akaashi, and he looked up after the message was sent. "He might be busy, so we should wait for a re-" that exact moment, Suga felt his phone buzz with a text message, which had caught him off guard just a bit. Apparently, Akaashi really wasn't busy.

The conversation continued for a few moments, and Kuroo was left a little confused. But he had to believe that Suga had his best interests in mind.

After a few more moments, Kuroo had come to to sit next to Suga and he was invited to read over his shoulder. Suga had scrolled up to where he had started texting him earlier.

_S: Hey, Akaashi. How's Bokuto doing? Any better?_

_A: Not really, honestly. I wish he was, but he's about the same._

_S: That's brutal. If there's anything I can do, let me know?_

_A: Yeah, thanks Suga. Oh, you know what you can do for me? I would hate to think that I'm treating Bo's friends poorly, so could you maybe text Kuroo and make sure he's not dead or anything?_

_S: I've been in contact with him. He's not dead and he's trying to clean up his act._

_A: Good. I know how much Bokuto cares about him._

_S: Yeah, he really does. Kuroo really cares about Bokuto too. They're definitely not best friends for nothing._

_A: I know, and it pains me to keep him away, but I just can't get myself let Kuroo back in here after how he behaved the other night._

_S: I mean, I can't blame you, but Bo wouldn't want us to abandon him, you know?_

_A: I know that, but I just don't have the time to focus on him right now. I know it's not really his fault, it's his addiction's fault. But I can't risk him getting close to Bo right now._

_S: That's fair enough. You know what, I'm going to try to help Kuroo out, just because I know how hard it can be do go through things alone. He's a good guy._

_A: Yeah, he is when he's sober._

That last text from Akaashi had really hit Kuroo hard and he wasn't sure what to do about this bit of information. Suga had actually nodded at that comment, and he went to go text Akaashi in return, but Kuroo just wasn't quite over everything that he had seen. Why was it that Kuroo had gotten so upset about all of this? Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he couldn't see how he behaved when he was on alcohol. Maybe it was the fact that Akaashi was not willing to 'focus' with him, or whatever, because of Bokuto being hospitalized. Whatever it was, this whole conversation had turned Kuroo off and he looked away, not seeing what Suga had to say.

Kuroo would have seen that Suga had tried to make a deal with Akaashi, if he had just continued reading along, but Kuroo had pulled away before he had seen what was being discussed. He really didn't care about seeing what Akaashi had to say, and he also didn't care what Suga had to say about the whole thing. He cared just a little more about what Suga had to say, but he was doing everything he could to not want to walk out of the apartment at the moment and go buy some more alcohol.

Slowly standing up, there was a tension in the air that couldn't be cut with a butter knife. Both boys had noticed it, although there really was very little that could be done at the moment. That didn't mean that Suga wasn't going to try to cut the tension, though. "Kuroo, what's wrong? I know that this was a hard conversation to read about, but you do know that Akaashi is just keeping Bokuto's best interests in mind, right?"

That sentence couldn't have been further from the truth, at least how Kuroo was seeing it, anyway. If Akaashi really cared, and he was keeping Bokuto's best interests in mind, he would let Kuroo go and see Bokuto. He would let Kuroo be right at his side with him, supporting him as best as he could. He wouldn't ban Kuroo from getting to see Bokuto. This was one of the worst things that anyone could be doing, at least in Kuroo's eyes.

"Bokuto would want me to be there... Suga, don't you get it? Akaashi doesn't have his best interests in mind. All he's thinking about is himself, because he doesn't want to be around me when... I've been drinking..." Kuroo sat down again, mulling that all over in his mind. That was a tough pill to swallow, and it was bit, too. He was doing this to himself. He was the one that was keeping himself away from Bokuto. No one wanted to be around him when he was drinking, Kuroo realized, which meant that he was the one that was causing all of this. "Suga... what do I do? How can I get back in to see him? H-how can I get Akaashi to forgive me and see that I haven't been drinking...?"

If Suga hadn't already been working on a solution, he would have stumbled over his words and tried to come up with a way that probably wouldn't have worked. But Suga was already thinking about all of that. "I am talking to Akaashi now, actually. He says that Bokuto still isn't great, but he says that when the doctor sees improvements, he will ask me about how you're doing and he will ask my opinion on if you're sober again. Then he will make his decision."

That was actually a bit of a relief, in Kuroo's mind. Suga had his back, didn't he? The two of them could take Akaashi on and get him in to see Bokuto! Although, he had a feeling that Suga wasn't going to lie to Akaashi, so Kuroo really did have some work ahead of him. He would have to impress Suga to get him to tell Akaashi that he's sober and ready to see Bokuto. "Okay, so... all I have to do is keep going at the rate I'm going and you'll tell him that I'm ready?"

There seemed to be a moment of hesitation in Suga's eyes. "If you're serious about sobering up again, I will tell him that you're ready. I will tell him that you are sober and he shouldn't have to worry about you with Bokuto anymore."

If this was a dream, it was the crappiest dream that Kuroo had been in, so he had to believe that it was real and that he could actually get the chance to see Bokuto. He had to think that he had a chance to see his best friend once again. Bokuto was really his best friend. They had gotten into so much trouble together, they had been through everything together, and it was just so difficult to know that he couldn't be there for him when it was his time of need. Bokuto had been there for _him_ for his time of need. That was the truth, so Kuroo really owed this to the boy.

Thoughts and memories were really drowning Kuroo at the moment. He could remember the time that Bokuto had saved him from giving his number to a very flirtatious girl who just wouldn't take no for an answer. He could remember the times that Akaashi would roll his eyes and tell them to cut it out when they were flirting shamelessly right in front of Akaashi. In his subconscious mind, Kuroo thought that he might have wanted Bokuto at one point. But one, the timing was never right. Two, they didn't think they would be able to handle each other when they were both up to an antic of some sort. Honestly, they were the best as friends. They were _bros_ and Kuroo wanted it to stay that way.

Suga had to ask Kuroo if he was okay and it took Kuroo another moment or two to realize that Suga was speaking to him. "O-oh! Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just thinking about Bokuto and all of the stuff we would get into trouble with together. We were just... great together."

That was very true. Suga couldn't deny that fact. Hell, he wouldn't try to deny it. He could see how great their friendship was and he only wished he had a friend that was similar to Bokuto. Sometimes, he would think that Daichi was similar to Bokuto, but really, that wasn't exactly true. Daichi was just a kind friend, and a person he could go to when he needed help. He wasn't really a friend he could get into trouble with and trust to bail him out of jail. Not that Suga would ever need to be bailed out of jail, but he just didn't think Daichi could be that person. What Kuroo had with Bokuto couldn't be matched. Sometimes he thinks that maybe Oikawa and Iwaizumi had a relationship similar, but their relationship was more than a friendship, regardless of how much the pair tried to deny it.

Nodding and smiling to Kuroo, Suga had to agree. They really were great together. "Hey, not were. You two _are_ great together. Don't forget that, okay?" Suga said and he really wanted Kuroo to believe that Bokuto was going to get better. Everyone had to stay hopeful with this. There was no room to have doubts or any room to have any negative thoughts about any of this. They were all desperate for Bokuto to get better here, which meant that they all had to keep all of their energy as positive as possible to send him positive and good healing vibes.

Unfortunately, Kuroo was starting to get negative about all of it and he was starting to hate how his mind was processing all of this. He shook his head and he bit his lip, trying to shake the tears out of his eyes. He really just wanted Bokuto to pull through this. He knew that everyone wanted Bokuto to pull through, but Kuroo was especially desperate for his bro and best friend to pull through all of this. He couldn't think of anyone else that could want him to pull through more, aside from Akaashi. Sure, Bokuto and Akaashi were in a relationship, but they really meant nothing in Kuroo's mind. Kuroo and Bokuto had a relationship too, it just wasn't of romantic nature.

Eventually, Suga leaned his head against Kuroo and it got Kuroo to look up from all of the dread he was feeling, pulling himself out of his sad feelings. He really didn't want to stay in this mood for much longer. "Can we... can we do something?" Kuroo asked in a weak, croaking voice.

Sitting up straight once more, Suga nodded and smiled. "Of course we can, babe. Let's find something to get your mind off of all of this. Maybe we can... well, I don't know what we can do. What do you have to do in your apartment?" Suga asked with a bit of a laugh.

Sighing, Kuroo shrugged a bit. "I really don't... I guess I have some card games? Or we could play a video game?" Kuroo suggested and Suga smiled as he stood up to stretch out.

Really, Suga was more for doing things outside, like just taking a walk around the neighborhood, but he really didn't want Kuroo to go outside at the moment. He really just wanted to keep Kuroo away from everything that could convince him to want to drink again. He was doing so good with Kuroo at the moment. "What do you want to do?" Suga asked as he reached for Kuroo's hands and pulled him to stand.

It was something that seemed so odd to Kuroo at the moment, especially with Kuroo's emotional state and with everything going on. But Suga had pulled Kuroo closer and he was holding onto him in an intimate way. He could feel Suga breathing into him as Suga held onto him, and Kuroo had to look down now, since Suga was shorter than him by a bit. They stayed like that, not talking to one another and just breathing one another in for quite some time. Kuroo had to clear his throat to get Suga's trance to end and he finally snapped back to reality. "Uh... you know? Maybe we should just watch a movie..."

That was also something more up Suga's alley. Sure, if Kuroo wanted to play a video game, he would certainly try and he would get Kuroo to do all of the hard parts for him, but Suga really wasn't much of a game player. They could play a card game, but Suga got a little too competitive, and he really wasn't sure if he could stop being competitive for Kuroo, even if it was for a good cause. So watching a movie sounded to be like a great idea, in Suga's mind. "What kind of movie do you want to watch, then?" Suga asked as he pulled back a bit. Both of their subconscious minds were rather saddened with the action of Suga pulling away. But it had to happen. They weren't dating yet, and Suga wasn't sure that dating would ever actually happen. He would like to hope that it would happen eventually, but Suga just wasn't sure of that at the moment.

"Uh... Well, I don't know about you, but I really like horror movies. Those movies really keep me interested and I can never pull my eyes off, or my mind away. So... maybe a horror movie?" Kuroo asked.

When Kuroo had suggested that, it was Suga's initial thought that he really hated horror movies. He honestly didn't care for them because Suga was really just easily frightened. He was going to turn his nose up and ask if they could possibly watch something else instead. But then, his mind chilled out and he started to have good thoughts about all of this. Maybe this was going to be a good experience for them to have! Maybe, if Suga played his cards right, he could get Kuroo to let Suga hide his face in his neck and shoulders. Maybe, if he was really lucky, he could convince Kuroo to kiss him to rid him of all the negative energy.

Those thoughts were pipe dreams at the moment, but Suga was honestly still very hopeful. "A horror movie sounds good! Although, I do have to warn you that I'm easily scared. I might end up in your lap," Suga said with a bit of a laugh. Apparently, Kuroo didn't have a problem with that as he took Suga's hand and walked the pair of them back to the bedroom. Suga knew that Kuroo had his television in there. He also knew that he moved it out to the living room whenever he had people over. Honestly, though, Suga was hoping that Kuroo was okay with watching the movie in the bedroom.

"I like to be comfortable during movies, and I hope you don't mind that I'm just... going to leave the TV in here. We can lay down while we watch the movie," Kuroo had said. That was music to Suga's ears. One, Kuroo's bed was really comfortable. So he honestly liked the idea of being more comfortable while watching the movie. Two, it was a bit more intimate. Suga's subconscious mind was really starting to come more into focus and he was really starting to understand just what he really wanted out of all of this. If Suga had his way with all of this, they would be dating by the end of the movie.

Of course, Suga wasn't actually anticipating getting his way.

Sitting on the bed, the television was turned on, and Kuroo turned on his Netflix channel, going to a rather horrifying movie. "Ready?" Kuroo asked as Suga moved a little closer. Suga leaned back into the pillows and he adjusted them so he could sit up a little. Nodding, he waited for Kuroo to start the movie.

The movie started and it started out so innocent. Suga thought that maybe the movie wasn't a horror movie, because he was just getting so attached to the characters. That was when the entire family started to get murdered, and Suga gasped loudly, turning his body, but his eyes couldn't turn away just yet. Eyes were still glued to the movie and everything that was happening. But really, Suga was just losing his mind with the movie.

It didn't take long for Suga to roll into Kuroo and try to hide. Kuroo had been expecting that to happen, so he pulled Suga closer and held onto him, shushing him gently and rubbing his side in an attempt to soothe Suga. This was exactly what Suga had wanted, although he wasn't too terribly sure that he had wanted to be scared to get this to happen. Sure, he was scared of everything going on at the moment with Kuroo going back to alcohol, he was scared that Bokuto might not pull out of the accident, but he didn't need to be willingly scared even more.

The movie wasn't half over yet when Kuroo paused it, turning Suga's head to look at him. Apparently, Suga was shaking, and Kuroo had noticed it. "Hey, it's just a movie... none of this is real," Kuroo had said softly and he kept holding onto Suga's chin. Eventually, though, he let go and let his head fall back against the headboard again. There was just something about this moment and the way things were moving that told Kuroo that he really couldn't make a move just yet. "Do you want to stop watching? Maybe we can watching a funny show, or just do something to get your mind off of the movie."

Hesitation filled Suga's mind and he really did want to say yes to ending the movie because he was just that terrified of it. But the other part of him wanted to keep going, to keep cuddling up with Kuroo, just like this. "Well, we could... but aren't you enjoying it? I wouldn't want to stop you from enjoying the movie, babe," Suga said softly.

It was the pet name that they had been using that gave Kuroo a thought. They were using that pet name in such a casual way, kind of the way he used the pet name with Bokuto. It made Kuroo want to revert back into sulking and he really wasn't sure he wanted to continue living at the moment that he had been thinking about. Looking back down to Suga, though, he knew he had to try. He knew that letting the bad emotions consume him wouldn't let him get any closer to going to see Bokuto. So he had to shake away the negative thoughts and he had to start thinking positively about all of this.

"I am enjoying it, but I don't want you to keep watching if it's causing stress inside you. So I can just watch it another time," Kuroo said with a shrug. "Maybe when Bokuto gets all better and we have a night off together. But then again, he and I usually watch superhero movies. One horror film couldn't hurt, though." Shrugging a bit, Kuroo turned off the television and he yawned a bit, looking back to Suga who had decided to pull away. The heat was dying between them now, since they weren't pressed up against each other.

Taking a moment, Suga looked at his phone and hummed. "You know? I think we can go out shopping now, if you'd like. I don't see why we couldn't, as long as I'm with you." It was the fact that Suga had to come with him that made Kuroo feel like he was trapped in prison, or something of the sort. He really didn't enjoy the feeling, but he knew that it was for the best, and Suga was really just looking out for him.

Letting out a sigh, Kuroo nodded as he got up from the bed. Suga followed him and he shook himself out a bit, trying to get the chills away from his body from the horror movie. He really did detest them and he would be lucky if he didn't have nightmares that night. Dark always crept around corners and it was always good at jumping out and spooking Suga, whenever he was wrapped up in thoughts about a horror movie. Suga didn't even like to watch trailers for horror movies. He would rather watch anything else, if he were being completely honest. Even a documentary about something mundane would be better than a horror film in his opinion.

"Is that what you want to wear out, or would you rather find something else of mine?" Kuroo asked. Suga had forgotten that he had changed into Kuroo's clothes after his shower and he smiled to think that he was still wearing the boy's clothing. It was actually a really nice feeling, if he was still being honest to himself. He liked being in Kuroo's clothes, even if it didn't fit him properly. Kuroo wasn't bigger in anything but height, but his clothes were still too big on Suga.

Nodding a bit, Suga looked up to Kuroo. "If you don't mind, I mean. I'm already in these clothes, and I don't exactly want to change out of them."

It didn't bother Kuroo, so he just went to change himself and the two boys were finally setting off on their adventure. It was really just and adventure to the grocery store, to pick up some other food and so Suga could pick up a few things to have at Kuroo's apartment as well. He did still need to get that lock box to keep all of the dangerous things in for the time being, so Kuroo didn't get the bright idea to keep harming himself, like he had done earlier that morning. Suga didn't realize he would have to keep all of the practical things in that box, like the matches and he would probably have to keep things like nail clippers in the box, too.

Once the boys set off, they had managed to make it to Suga's car and to the store in one piece. They had gone to the the grocery store, and Kuroo had decided that getting eggs and some fish to cook up would be a good idea. He also grabbed some ham steaks and then he let Suga picked out something to have at the apartment as well. As they stood in line, Kuroo had been looking to the distance, where Suga had looked to see what Kuroo was looking at. There were cases of beer against the one wall, and there were people their age, maybe just a little older, grabbing the cases. "Hey, it's alright. You don't need that. Remember? You want to be good to get to see Bokuto again."

Grumbling a bit, Kuroo sighed and nodded. He knew that Suga was right. "It doesn't make it any less hard, though..." Kuroo said, wondering why Suga had offered to take him out in the first place. Maybe it was to desensitize him to the alcohol that was always going to be in the world? Maybe it was so Kuroo didn't feel like he had to dance around the temptation. That was the issue, though. The temptation would always be there. Kuroo would just have to learn that he couldn't let the temptation win. He wouldn't let his addiction win ever again. Kuroo knew that he really couldn't let the temptation win ever again.

As they got to the front of the line and started to check out, Suga handed his card to the cashier and looked back to Kuroo. "I've got it," Suga said with a mile.

The lady at the cash register hummed and let out a bit of a laugh. "You two are just so cute, you know? I'm glad there's still some hope for romance in the world," she said as she took Suga's card. He knew that they weren't really dating, but why not let this lady think that they were dating? Why ruin her thoughts about the topic?

It was Kuroo that spoke up though, and it was Kuroo's mind that was messing with him right now. It really couldn't just let him be happy for one moment, could it? "What? We're not dating, you know that, right? We're just friends," Kuroo said softly as he reached for the bags. The smile on the lady's face had disappeared and she shook her head.

Suga's mind was going in overdrive right now. So that was how it was going to be, huh? Even after the deal Suga had made with Kuroo, even after the way the two of them had cuddled during the movie, or the way they stood with and held each other earlier that day. "I'm sorry, you just... the two of you seem to have chemistry. I didn't mean to imply anything, though. Please forgive me," she said.

Although Kuroo didn't seem or act offended by her words, his response must have thrown her off enough to get her to think that he was offended. It was also the body language after the fact. "It's alright, I forgive you," Kuroo said to the lady as she handed Suga back his card.

What were they going to be, if not lovers, then? Letting out a bit of a sigh, Suga watched as Kuroo walked out of the store and the way his body language was still screaming that he was annoyed with the accusation. Was Suga reading the signs wrong? Or did he really just make it all up in his mind? Whatever the truth was, Suga felt kind of bad now for offering what he had offered with Kuroo earlier, implying that they could potentially do couple-like things in order to get Kuroo through the first few days of sobering up, in order to distract him.

Was Kuroo really just a fool in his own mind? Was he just trying to think about himself and not end up alone? He really didn't want to use Kuroo in order to fulfill his dreams, although _Kuroo was his dream_ , even though he hadn't fully realized it at that point. Kuroo was what he really wanted.

"Sorry about him," Suga said after Kuroo had walked away, and Suga thanked her before going towards the door. He followed after Kuroo and he sighed as he caught up. "Are you okay? You seem kind of offended after what she said," Suga said, feeling a bit caught off his guard at the moment. "I know that it's rude of people to make assumptions, but was it really that rude for her to assume that the two of us were dating?"

Scoffing, there was another tense feeling in the air. It was as if Kuroo really had been offended by what she had said. "I'm not offended by what she assumed, I'm just upset that she had even assumed something about us. She didn't have a right to assume that were are dating or in a relationship. That's what she was assuming, and it's just not right of her."

Suga had frowned for a moment and he sighed, nodding for a moment. While it really wasn't right of her to assume that the pair were in a relationship, it really did seem like Kuroo was offended. The vibe he was giving off to Suga was the he didn't want to be in a relationship anyway at the moment. Maybe it was all of the Bokuto stuff coming back to bite him. Maybe it was the fact that he was trying to focus on recovery and not get wrapped up in the idea of being in a relationship. Whatever it was, though, Suga wasn't going to stop trying to help Kuroo.

"I guess not, it wasn't right of her. Hey, lets go stop at the home store down the road so I can go get that box I wanted to go get," Suga said. Kuroo nodded as he got into the car with his groceries.

This wasn't going to be a pleasant experience if Kuroo was fighting against Suga the whole time that he was trying to help Kuroo through getting sober, but it wasn't pleasant the first time. There was no way it was going to be more pleasant or the slightest bit fun, or even easier this time. That was just a fact that Suga would have to come to terms with, no matter how much his subconscious mind was screaming at him to try harder with Kuroo in a more than friends sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I feel accomplished. Don't hold me to it, but I plan on updating each of my four current stories within two weeks of each other at the rate I'm going. This was exactly two weeks, and I'm going to try to hold myself to that promise. Wish me luck, everyone!


	5. Chapter 5

_It's really not up to me though, if I end our awesome broship, our friendship that has been going on strong for longer than I can keep track of. It's up to you to keep this going. But if you don't stop drinking, then bro... We can't stay as friends. We can't be bros, and that hurts me more than I can even tell you. I don't want to end this, and I want to have my bro forever. You're so important to me..._

\---

Their visit to the home goods store didn't take long, and Suga made sure it didn't take long either, just because he wanted to hide away back in Kuroo's home. He really wasn't in the mood to hide away his emotions anymore, and even though he would still have to hide them at Kuroo's place, he could slip up without feeling bad if anyone saw him.

Once the pair got back to Kuroo's apartment, Kuroo went to go to the living room and relax as Suga went to make use of his new lock box. It was a personal triumph, and he was laughing in his subconscious mind about all of this now. If Kuroo was going to continue fighting against his advances and keep pretending that Suga didn't mean anything to him, he would hold onto all of Kuroo's things longer until Suga actually felt Kuroo was ready to hold onto dangerous things.

It didn't take long to lock all of those things into the box, which Suga was frustrated over, but that wasn't the only source of his frustration at the moment. It was also the fact that Kuroo was just lazing around in the living room and leaving Suga to do all of the work. Just because Kuroo was recovering and trying to cope through all of this, didn't mean that he couldn't make efforts to help himself. It was stressful enough for a group of people to help Kuroo the first time, but with the first experience, Kuroo was helping himself. Now Kuroo wasn't helping himself at all.

After Suga was done and came into the living room, he froze at the sight he saw. "Kuroo... were did that come from?" Suga asked as he looked at the bottle of Scotch that was sitting on the couch next to Kuroo at the current time. Suga could have sworn he had gotten rid of all of the alcohol in the apartment, and it was very unsettling to see that Kuroo had yet another bottle.

Looking up and giving Suga a bit of an odd look over, he pointed to under the couch. "It was under the couch. I was feeling pathetic when I came home that first night, so I put a bottle under the couch when I fell asleep on the couch instead of going to bed. And don't look so surprised, you should have been expecting this."

Unfortunately, Suga was expecting this, but he was just upset that he hadn't found all of the alcohol in the apartment when he had looked the first time. He sighed and he went towards it, but Kuroo had pulled the bottle away and set it in his lap. "You can't get rid of this. This bottle cost me nearly seventy dollars. I am not throwing it out," Kuroo said as he hugged the bottle. "I won't drink it, but I'm not tossing it. I'd sell a kidney before I dumped this. I'd much rather give it to Akaashi, even though he's mad at me right now."

This was what Suga was afraid of. He stood close to Kuroo and he shook his head, clearing his throat a bit. "Okay, so if you're not going to dump it, then we can call up Tsukki or even Hinata and give it to one of them, deal? I won't dump this bottle down the drain, but it cannot stay in your apartment. You're an alcoholic, so even if we do get you sobered up, you can't have alcohol in here. Got it?"

When Suga had said that, Kuroo groaned and threw his head back. Suga would have tried to grab for the bottle, but Kuroo had a good handle on the bottle, so he didn't need to struggle with Kuroo right now. Really, he didn't need to struggle with Kuroo at all. That would have ended in a very bad headache for the both of them. "I can't have this at all? I get that right now, I can't, but what about when I'm all sober and you're here to... oh, yeah, you probably won't be here after I'm officially sober... But that doesn't mean I want to give my seventy six bottle of scotch to a random person. They should have to pay me for it, because it's the really good stuff!" Kuroo said, throwing a hand in the air and giving Suga a harsh look.

If Suga had realized this was going to be so difficult, he really would have tried a different approach. He wished he had thought about trying to sober up Kuroo before he decided to do just do it. A plan would have probably made all of this easier on Suga. "As long as I am around, and I plan on sticking around for a bit, at least until after you officially sober just to make sure you are safe, you're not going to have access to any alcohol. Don't you get it? You really can't be around this stuff, Kuroo. It's so dangerous for you. I don't even want you to have alcohol in your foods or desserts. Also, seventy six dollars is a decent bottle of scotch, but scotch and be much more expensive than that. It's not the end of the world if you give up your bottle of scotch. Think of it as a present. Maybe give it to Tsukishima and Yamaguchi for getting you back here in one piece."

Those words were toxic and Kuroo shook his head. "Put it in your lock box if you don't want me to have it. I won't touch it until after you're gone, but you're not going to dump my expensive bottle of scotch."

It was like pulling teeth to get Kuroo to understand that Kuroo couldn't have alcohol no matter what. He was an addict, an alcoholic, and that meant that he couldn't be exposed to what he was addicted to, even after he was cleaned up. "I'll put it in there for now, but I'm going to make you get rid of it at some point," Suga said as he held out his hand.

This was like giving up a newborn, in Kuroo's eyes. He looked down to the bottle of scotch before he looked back up to Suga. "It goes in your box... Not down the drain," Kuroo said, as if he was making sure Suga wasn't lying to him. Suga nodded, even though he had a groan caught up in his throat.

When Kuroo handed the bottle to Suga, he stood up and he swallowed a bit, following Suga back out to the kitchen, where he had his lock box. It was just to make sure that Suga wasn't going to betray him and dump the scotch. "I'm only doing this because I hope that after we get you all sober, you will be stable enough to handle a glass of scotch without going wild. I haven't seen anyone handle this, and I wouldn't expect anyone to be able to handle it, either, but I'm only doing this for your sanity." Suga's words were dripping with anger and frustration right now.

Had it been up to Suga, the scotch would have gone down the drain. The entire bottle would have been wasted and gone for good, so Kuroo didn't have to worry about having access to his vice. But Suga was doing his best to make compromises, just so Kuroo knew he could trust Suga and have faith that he knew what he was doing. Suga made sure that Kuroo wasn't looking when he put in his pass code for the lock box, and then he settled the bottle in the box, moving the matches and knives over. He hoped that this wouldn't turn out bad, and that this wouldn't start a fire, but he had hope that it would be safe still.

Once the box was locked up again, he put the box on the fridge, where it would stay out of mind for some time. "Alright, that's all done. So now what?" Suga asked as he turned back to Kuroo, who was leaned against the counter, with his arms crossed.

The taller boy looked very disappointed and not very amused by the things that were going on. "I don't know, Sugawara. I'm probably going to go finish that movie. You don't have to join me though, since I know you hate horror movies," Kuroo said with a roll of his eyes.

That was more than true, and Suga knew it to be true, especially from earlier when they were watching a horror. But that didn't mean that he didn't want to do something with Kuroo right now, to try to diffuse some of the tension in the air. But Kuroo didn't seem to be in the mood to do something else, so he sighed. "We can go watch the rest of the film. I might not pay attention, but... I'll stay with you."

Really, the only reason that Suga wanted to stay with Kuroo was because of what he had caught Kuroo doing not too long ago. He didn't want Kuroo to be caught hurting himself again. Suga felt responsible for everything that Kuroo did to himself while he was there, so he had to make sure that Kuroo wasn't going to hurt himself.

Rolling his eyes, Kuroo went to head into the bedroom. Slowly, but surely, Suga followed after him. His phone was in his pocket, so he could hopefully pay attention to his phone instead of the film. He could play a game, or text with some people to keep his mind off of the horrors going on through the film.

Once the movie was started, Suga had to put his attention directly into his phone. He didn't like not knowing how the movie would end, or knowing that he wouldn't figure out the end of the plot for this story line, but he really couldn't tolerate watching a horror film at the moment. Not with everything going on, anyway. Particularly, not with everything Bokuto was handling at the moment.

So, as the movie continued, Suga started to scroll through his social media pages, trying to see if there was anything interesting going on or if anyone had a fun update about Bokuto. Akaashi wasn't exactly the best at updating his twitter or Facebook, so at least Tsukishima had a couple updates. The cool thing was, the last update was less than a half hour old. Suga read the update and frowned. 'I wish I had better news for everyone, but Bokuto didn't respond to the medication that they gave him to help make him better. They are still trying, though.'

That update wasn't as happy as he wanted it to be, but at least he knew what was going on. At least, he could tell Kuroo when he asked next. That was the one thing he would be glad for. It was also part of the reason he had even come to visit Kuroo originally and it was now part of his job. The sounds on the television made Suga look up and he jumped a bit to see a demonic creature, close up to the camera, before it slithered off the screen. Suga's hand went to his chest and he looked down to Kuroo, just glad do see Kuroo focused on the movie.

The movie wasn't over yet, so Suga decided to start texting Daichi, just to see if he could focus his attention anywhere else at the moment, so he didn't have to squeal about the horror movie anymore.

_S: Hey, I'm with Kuroo right now and he's watching a horror movie, aha... What are you up to?_

Suga wasn't anticipating an answer quickly, just because he knew that Daichi was probably at work. Or at least, he should be at work. If he took off another day for Bokuto, Suga had no idea. It would have been like Daichi to take off another day, but he wouldn't be able to take off too many more days, Suga knew. 

Strangely enough, though, Daichi messaged him back within a few minutes, which had surprised Suga to no end.

_D: I'm sitting at the hospital with Keiji. Bokuto still isn't responding to the medications, but they are telling us that his vital signs are looking better. Enough distraction for you? (;_

Daichi was being a total shit to Suga right now, because he knew that Suga hated horror movies. When they were in college, the two had watched too many movies together. They tried a horror movie at one point, but Suga couldn't stay in his seat the entire time and he fidgeted through the entire thing, until Daichi turned it off and turned on an episode of _How I Met Your Mother_ just to cheer Suga up.

_S: Haha, very funny. I'm glad his vitals are looking better, though. I wish he would wake up so Kuroo can feel better about the whole thing, but it's been miserable for Kuroo right now. He's struggling, Dai. I'm worried._

The silvery blond wouldn't get a text back for a little while now, but at the very least, the end credits were playing on the movie right now and Suga didn't have to worry about seeing a horror scene on the screen. "So, was it what you were expecting?" Suga asked to Kuroo.

When he didn't get an answer, Suga looked over to see Kuroo sitting up and rubbing his head, trying to fix his hair for some reason. "I would have liked it better if I were watching it with someone, but Bokuto isn't here, and you were watching your phone." It was obvious to Kuroo that Suga wasn't going to focus on the film anymore when he had pulled his phone out and decided to focus there instead. Usually, it wouldn't be a big deal to Kuroo. But this wasn't a typical day or time in Kuroo's life. It wasn't a typical time for any of Bokuto's friends, honestly.

It felt like Kuroo was attacking Suga for not liking horror movies. The way he called Suga out for paying attention to his phone, rather than looking at the movie, kind of made Suga feel like shit for not paying attention to the movie. "I'm sorry, Kuroo. I would have paid more attention to the movie, but like I mentioned before... I really don't like horror movies. You saw how I reacted earlier when we watched the first part of the movie. You had to calm me down..."

"And how shit is that? Aren't you supposed to be here to help me?" Kuroo had asked in an annoyed voice.

The attacking had continued, and Suga pushed himself off the bed to go sit on the chair instead. "I can't change how I react to horror movies... I'm a jumpy person..." Suga murmured as he took a seat. Kuroo was there though, crouching down in front of Suga, within a few minutes.

Feeling a hand on his thigh, Suga really wanted to push away, and he wanted Kuroo to just stop accusing him of everything right now and start treating him with respect. But Suga was a sucker for soft touches, so he didn't have the heart to push the hand away. "Suga, I'm sorry... I don't know why I'm behaving like this, but I know that I really don't want to lose you while I'm struggling so much. So... forgive me, Suga?" It was an apology at the very least. Suga wasn't sure why he was being so hard on Kuroo right now, really. Maybe he just couldn't help it at the moment.

If he had actually though about it, he would have realized that his subconscious mind was starting to peg Kuroo was being his boyfriend, rather than categorize him as still a friend. So that was why he was starting to get more frustrated over this, but it was all in his subconscious mind. Kuroo wasn't his boyfriend. Not yet, anyway.

Putting a hand on Kuroo's hand, that was on his thigh still, Suga sighed and he leaned in a little closer, until their foreheads were touching. It was a gentle touch, and Suga's eyes were closed, but he didn't move forward. God, he _wanted_ to move forward and feel just how nice those lips were against his own, but he really couldn't at the moment. He wasn't sure that Kuroo actually wanted to kiss him. Wasn't it still the alcoholic in Kuroo talking? Even though Kuroo wasn't on alcohol anymore, or currently anyway, Suga was blaming this on his addiction. Maybe everything that had happened that day was from the alcoholism.

Taking a breath, Suga pulled back to look at Kuroo, and he smiled softly, bringing his other hand up to put on Kuroo's cheek. "It's the addict in you that's making you behave like this. I will have to get used to it, but at some point, you can't expect me to be super forgiving anymore, for treating me this way. But you know what? You really are doing awesome, Kuroo, and I want to reward you for all of the effort you're putting into this."

A spike in Kuroo's interest had gotten to boy to smile, and he tilted his head a little. "You want to reward me? How so?" Kuroo asked, licking his lips a bit.

This wasn't exactly a decent reward, but Suga had to hope that Kuroo would take the reward. It was also Suga's mind still trying to turn Kuroo into a boyfriend. Why was his mind like this? Leaning forward and breathing in Kuroo's scent, he smiled gently as he closed his eyes once more. "Tell me if you want to stop..." Suga said gently. The smile was still on his lips, and as they connected, Suga's smile was still there, forming against Kuroo's smile. They were both smiling still and neither of them had the ability to just stop smiling. But it was a kiss, and it was Suga's form of rewarding Kuroo. He hoped that Kuroo would accept that as a reward.

How great the kiss was, too. Storybooks and movies would generally tell stories about feeling sparks fly when a kiss happened. They would talk about how it just felt right. Suga wasn't sure he had believed all of that talk of perfect kisses. While this kiss wasn't perfect, because they were both smiling too much for the kiss to properly happen, Suga had just experienced and figured out what everyone was talking about when they talked about sparks flying during a kiss. It just felt that right.

Pulling away, Suga opened his eyes and tried to figure out what Kuroo's reaction to the kiss was. He hoped it was a decent reaction, and he hoped that Kuroo would accept the reward, even though it wasn't really a reward. "Suga... I want more of those..." Suga thought he heard Kuroo whisper. It was entirely possible that Kuroo had said that, too, but he also wasn't too sure that those were the words Kuroo had said.

"You... want more? Well, you'll get more, just have to wait and work on your sobriety," Suga said as quite a tease. If Suga had his way about all of this, he would push Kuroo onto the ground and start kissing Kuroo nonstop. But he knew that Kuroo wanted this now, so maybe he could use the kisses as a reward for staying sober. That was what Suga was going to plan on trying, anyway. It was a selfish way to reward Kuroo, but he knew now that Kuroo had also wanted this.

Although, Suga wasn't too sure that Kuroo had actually wanted this, if he was being completely honest. It could have been just Kuroo's mind trying to come up with something else to focus on, and Suga was giving him an excuse to stay distracted. He hoped that Kuroo wasn't thinking like that, but Suga wouldn't know that for quite some time now.

Standing up, Suga helped Kuroo stand. "You'll... kiss me more if I stay sober?" Kuroo asked with a puzzled look on his face, as if he really didn't believe him. Why would Kuroo believe him? He really didn't have very many good things going on in his life at the moment, so why would Suga give him this?

"And other things, too. It doesn't have to be just kisses," Suga said. He gave a devious, smirking smile and a wink before he let go of Kuroo's hands and started to walk towards the door.

It was that action right there that got Kuroo to groan to himself and follow after him. He was such a captivating human being that Kuroo didn't think it was possible for him to disobey Suga at this point. Now, his alcoholism might not think the same way, nor would it listen to Kuroo when he said that he wanted to try to do good for Suga, but he was sure as hell going to try.

The two boys had decided that food was good once again, and Kuroo offered to cook up some of the food they had bought at the grocery story. Although, Kuroo's mind went back to the things that the girl had said at the grocery store. What was her problem, just assuming that Suga was his boyfriend? Right now, it didn't seem like that bad of an idea. He would have liked if Suga was his boyfriend now, just so he had someone to lean on during all of this Bokuto stuff. It didn't seem so bad to take Suga out and have him to do domestic things with.

But it was just the principal of the whole thing. Two people could behave cutely together without being in a relationship, couldn't they? Or did they have to be in a relationship in order to act cute out in public? Kuroo wasn't even entirely sure what it was that had been so cute about them. It might have just been their appearance, though, and Kuroo did have to agree that Suga was cute. He was an attractive boy, with such soft and inviting features, now that Kuroo was thinking about doing couple things with the boy.

It was such a dilemma, Kuroo thought, and he started to cook the fish in a pan, adding in different seasonings and such to give it a good flavor. If Suga hadn't put his damned scotch in that lock box, he would have poured some of that in to give it a good flavor. But unfortunately, Suga had locked it away. He knew that Suga only had his best interests in mind, but it was just annoying to not be able to take care of himself.

There was a buzzing sound after a few minutes, one that made Kuroo jump a bit. His phone buzzing always made him jump out of his skin, so he wasn't surprised that it made him jump like this now. But who could possibly be calling him right now? Passing the spatula to Suga, he reached into his pocket and pulled his phone out to see who was bothering him around dinner time.

It was work.

If a person could actually be white, Kuroo was sure that his skin color had actually gone white. Not tan, not a light peach, but actually white. He hadn't called and spoken to work yet, and he hadn't explained that he couldn't be there after Bokuto's accident. He was already two hours late to work, so there was no reason for him to go in now. But he still had to explain himself and tell them just why he wasn't there this time. "Oh no..." he murmured and it got Suga to look up to him with curiosity.

This wasn't something that Suga needed to get involved in. Hell, he didn't need Suga to fix all of the problems he had made for himself. Sure, this was going to be such a mess to clean up, but he could fix it himself. Taking a breath, Kuroo had answered the phone. "Hello?" he said, although he already knew who it was that had called him. He already knew just how much trouble he was really in. "You know, I've been... I wanted to call you last night, but everything was just so crazy and things got so bad..." he said, rubbing his face as he started to pace in circles. This was bad. It was really bad.

"I can explain why I've missed... well I have an excuse for the last two days..." Kuroo said softly, pinching the bridge of his nose. If he screwed this up, he wasn't sure that another lab would hire him. He wasn't sure that he would ever be able to work himself up to working on the things he wanted to work on ever again. "Yes, I really do have a reason. So, I know I should have called. I know I should have explained, but my best friend... He was in a terrible work related accident and it nearly took his head off. They had to do surgery on him, and I've just been wrapped up in everything with him..." Kuroo said.

Speaking about Bokuto was causing Kuroo to have watery eyes again, which really wasn't ideal. He didn't need to cry about Bokuto right now. He certainly didn't need to cry over the phone, but maybe it would sell his story a little more. "I know how unprofessional it was for me to not call, I know that I could get suspended for this... but it was my best friend, and I couldn't just... not go to him. I had to be there..."

Hearing their next group of questions, Kuroo started to clam up a bit. They were asking specifics, and Kuroo honestly had no idea what they were asking for, if he was being honest. "Well, uhh... I mean, yes, I know what's been going on with him, but I haven't been there because..."

It was the sound of the man over the phone and when Kuroo heard them say that they had to 'think about the consequences for such an excuse', Kuroo had a feeling that he was about to lose his job. Sighing to himself gently as he gave his goodbyes and said he would accept a call back, he hung up from the conversation and he sat himself down on the couch, shaking his head just a bit. "Bokuto... I love you, but I hate you so much right now..." Kuroo said and he squeaked at the end of the sentence.

This had been far too much for Kuroo to handle, and he really wasn't sure that he actually could handle all of this at the moment. It was a lot to handle, Kuroo thought, and he was alone. If only Suga hadn't put the scotch into that stupid box...

A voice cleared in the room, and Suga had been standing right in front of Kuroo right at that moment. It wasn't that Kuroo hadn't wanted to see Suga, but it had just surprised Kuroo to see Suga there, when he was in such a bad state of mind at the moment. "Su-Suga... I might lose my job... the best case scenario, they'll suspend me..." Kuroo said with a bit of a whimper.

It really wasn't a good thing for Kuroo to have to hear. Today had been such an emotional roller coaster. Suga really wished that he could fix all of these problems and he could heal Kuroo, but there really was no way. At least, there wasn't going to be a way to heal Kuroo fully until Bokuto was back to his normal self. Even that wouldn't necessarily fix Kuroo, especially if Kuroo had gone back to being an alcoholic and Suga couldn't convince Kuroo to stay away from the alcohol. "Hey, you know what? This isn't the end of the world. So you've messed up. So you've missed work and they are mad at you. If you lose your job, there are other jobs out there that you can get. You are a catch, Kuroo. Anyone would be happy to hire you," Suga said as he sat down on the couch next to Kuroo.

Now, being honest to himself, Kuroo wasn't exactly where he wanted to be in his career at the moment. He wasn't even working in a lab. He was just working in the customer service wing of a facility, taking phone calls about the products his company sold. He knew nearly everything about the products, and it was frustrating to have to transfer the phone calls to an actual chemist, because they didn't trust his answers all the time. It was kind of like being in a hospital, where someone didn't trust what the nurse had to say, even though the nurse had more idea what was going on that the attending doctor did. Kuroo knew more about the product and the affects that the chemists did, because they didn't see their product out in the field all the time.

Sighing a bit, Kuroo turned to look at Suga. "If I lose this job, though... Who's going to hire me again...? Who is going to trust me enough to hire me back...?" Kuroo asked, trying not to cry about all of this. If he had shown emotion about all of this, he wasn't likely to stop for quite some time. Really, he wasn't likely to stop crying about it for probably a few hours. He wouldn't be able to eat, he wouldn't be able to shower, and he would be lucky to get himself to sleep. Maybe he could, if he had knocked himself out with crying.

It wasn't much, Suga knew, but he reached over to rub Kuroo's shoulders and try to relax him. Kuroo took the action a little differently, though. He had took Suga's touch as an excuse to lay his head on Suga's lap. Now, Suga wasn't exactly opposed to this, but really wished he could do more to console Kuroo. "Don't you dislike this job, though? Can't we get you hired at a job you actually like?" Suga suggested.

But that wasn't what Kuroo needed to hear. What he needed to hear was that he wasn't going to lose his job, that he was only going to be suspended and that he would still get to keep his job. He needed to hear that he was going to get promoted to being able to work in the lab and he would be doing errands for the people that could actually work on the medications, and he would one day get to work on those products. "I have the job... th-the job that I have to have, because I want to work in the lab someday..." Kuroo said quietly, his voice getting cracked and it was thick with emotion.

Taking a breath, Suga started to run his hand through Kuroo's hair. "What if we found you another job in a different lab where you could actually do the things you wanted to do? I'm not saying you need to stop this job right now, bur it's definitely something to look into, is it not?" Suga asked as he put his hand on Kuroo's cheek again, getting Kuroo to look up at him.

There were tears in Kuroo's eyes, which was beyond heartbreaking for Suga to see. But he gave his own watery smile to Kuroo in return, to hopefully show his support. As long as it was a healthy choice, Suga would be there to support Kuroo in whatever he decided. "Yeah, I guess... We can look into it... But I know I have to go back to school for another couple of years, so it might be pointless to start looking..." Kuroo said glumly, breaking eye contact with Suga's eyes.

Letting out a soft sigh, Suga wasn't sure what he could say that would be helpful with that. But at least he was there for Kuroo at the moment. At least he was there giving Kuroo his support, which was more than he could say for any of their other friends. Now, really, Suga wasn't being fair with his thinking there. It wasn't fair of Suga to blame their friends for not being there for Kuroo. Really, Suga wouldn't have put too much focus into Kuroo either, if he hadn't had a crush on the man in a subconscious way. "Maybe we can get you enrolled in some online classes, yeah? Or just the community college? Won't the lab pay for college for you?"

A laugh left Kuroo's lips, but it was a very sad laugh, and it sounded painful. "Oh, they would, if they didn't fire me, and they would pay for them if I was a decent employee and didn't get myself suspended."

Another sigh left Suga's lips. "What if we can find you another lower level job? Or... maybe we can just go in and explain to them that you're recovering from an addiction. You don't have forms to prove it, so to speak, but maybe I can be enough of proof to all of this?"

Suga was trying. Kuroo had to give him that. But Suga didn't know his bosses and how much trouble he was really in right now. He was in so trouble right now, that they would be more than nice to let him keep his job after this. He would have to do more than just a little ass kissing if he wanted to get into the lab some day. Honestly, it would be better to go to a different lab and try to get another low entry job at this rate, but he just wasn't sure what company would hire him again after how he behaved with his last job.

But it was an emergency, so couldn't they see that Kuroo wasn't totally at fault here? If they couldn't see that, they were definitely messed up. As Kuroo sat up, he wiped at his face. "Those are really all the options I have, so I'll have to think about getting a different job, or I'll just have to explain to them and do whatever they want of me to keep my job." It really wasn't an ideal situation to be in. None of this was ideal, but it was the sad truth they were living in at the moment.

Slowly pulling away, Suga had to get up so he could go check on the fish. "Whatever you decide, I'll be here to support you. You don't have to go through this alone, okay?" Suga said before leaving the living room and going out to the kitchen. Suga was out in the kitchen for longer than Kuroo had anticipated, so he got up to go check on him and see if he needed anything.

"Oh, Kuroo! I wanted to... okay, so I spiced up the meal a bit... I made a relish and I wanted to set up the table for you to make it look nice..." Suga had bit his lip. Was he doing too much? Did Suga have too much romance on his mind at the moment?

The look on Kuroo's face was one of pure surprise, and he tilted his head just a little bit. "You did... You did this all for me?" Kuroo asked as he looked over to the table. It was really such a simple task that Suga had completed. It wasn't anything fancy, and really, there wasn't anything too romantic about having a dinner such as this, but it was just the thought that really counted.

Nodding his head and fidgeting a bit, Suga looked over to the pot on the stove and turned off the burner. Whatever was in the pot had smelled delicious, and Kuroo had wanted a taste. "It's not much, and I was going to look around to see if you had anything that I could make it more... intimate, but I guess this will have to do."

What Kuroo had saw next was the table setting. It really wasn't anything too eloquent or something too high class, but it was just a super nice gesture of Suga to do. He had gotten all of the shit that Kuroo had put on the table and he had put it aside, in a very neat pile that Kuroo could go back through later. He had also put serving utensils, glasses, and there were even place mats on the table. Although, Kuroo should have told Suga where those place mats had come from. It was still a very nice gesture, but Kuroo had a few ill feelings about the mats that were on the table right now.

Looking back up to Kuroo, he smiled to Suga and reached over to him, wrapping him up in an embrace and leaning his head down, so his cheek was on top of Suga's head. "Thank you, Suga... I really do appreciate this." It was good enough, really.

He didn't have to go through all of this work. Really, he could have just told Kuroo to serve himself. But with the day Suga and Kuroo had been experiencing, Suga figured that he wanted to do something nice for Kuroo to try to distract him from what he had learned about Bokuto today, for what drama the lady at the grocery store had stirred up, and all of the current work drama. It had been such a long and crazy day that Suga really just wanted to get Kuroo's mind off of everything that had been happening. "Oh, of course, b-... Kuroo! I wanted to do something good for you. It's not much, but I hope it works. I should have told you to wait in the living room if I wanted to really surprise you, though. That was a mistake on my part, I guess. Maybe for next time," Suga said.

Slowly, but surely, the two had pulled away and Suga looked at the stove. "Okay, so everything is ready. I'm going to serve it up for you, so please, sit down and let me take care of you," Suga said with a smile and he winked at the very end. It was a very cheeky wink, but Suga knew that Kuroo would be all over it.

"You made the dinner mostly by yourself, so why can't I help serve it?" Kuroo asked with a pout on his lips.

Letting out a very lighthearted laugh, Suga shook his head. "Why? This is another reward for you, silly! You've already worked for this, so enjoy it!" Suga said as he shooed Kuroo off to go sit. With a groan, the raven-haired boy had gone to sit down and he pouted a bit. The feeling intensified when he looked down at the place mats, just because he remembered how he had gotten these place mats in the first place.

Sighing gently, he closed his eyes. Bokuto had given them to Kuroo as a gift for sobering up the first time. Bokuto wanted this to be a reward, and it was really a great reward that Bokuto had given him. Suga hadn't known, or wouldn't have known that these mats were tied in with Bokuto, simply because after Kuroo had gotten sober enough the first time, Bokuto had taken over so everyone else could go focus on their own lives. It was sad to think that everyone else had left, but that was how Bokuto wanted it, just because that was what he thought being a best friend had meant.

Opening his eyes, he was greeted with Suga's face relatively close to his again, and it made him jump a bit. "Hey, so why don't we make a game out of this meal?" Suga suggested, and Kuroo was rather confused to what or why he wanted to do this for. But really, he would follow anything that Suga had wanted to do, and he would do it gladly.

"What's the game going to be?" Kuroo asked suspiciously.

"I have a couple ideas, but why don't we just make it more fun to eat. We could feed each other, but one of us has to have our eyes closed? I'm voting that the person taking the bite has to have their eyes closed, so they don't know what the other person is feeding them." Well, that was quite the idea.

If Kuroo was being honest, he thought this game was going to make more of a mess than it was worth. But he shrugged and nodded at the idea. "Sure, let's go. Who starts?"

There was a pause, but then Suga hummed. "I'll trust you to feed me first," Suga said as he closed his eyes and opened his mouth.

Kuroo had picked up Suga's fork and fed him a bite of the fish with the relish on it. Suga hummed and giggled a bit, then opened his eyes. "Now your turn. Go on, close your eyes."

Once Kuroo had done so, he was surprised when he tasted rice and broccoli in his mouth. Suga really had been a good cook, honestly. He was kind of surprised that the meal was so delicious.

After Kuroo fed Suga a bite one more time, giving him a bite of the fish with rice, Kuroo closed his eyes again and was greeted with more food. This was an interesting game, but it sure made eating a little more fun.

The game was going on and on, and Suga hummed for a moment. "Ready, Kuroo?" he asked as he reached for Kuroo's fork once more. Kuroo nodded as he closed his eyes, ready for the next bite of food.

But that was when Suga had surprised him with something else entirely. Kuroo didn't bite, but he slowly closed his mouth to mold to Suga's lips, who were against his own at the moment. Suga had surprised him with a kiss, which had him spinning and gasping for air by the time they were done.

This kiss was a little better than the first. It wasn't really the best, but still better than the first kiss. When Suga pulled away, he cleared his throat. "Okay, sorry, had to get that out of my system. Ready for more food?" Suga asked softly. 

"I mean... sure, or we could just keep... food, yeah, okay," Kuroo said as he tried to compose himself. He closed his eyes again, not sure what to expect this time.


	6. Chapter 6

_The truth is, I don't know what I would do without you in my life. It would destroy us all, and it would make me fall apart... Remember that one night when I had to work really early the next morning, so I told you that I couldn't hang out? And... and you ended up in the cold, all by yourself? No way to get home, stranded out on the bridge? You called me, and there was no way I could just leave you there, even thought I had to go to work early. I came and brought you back home with me, and we stayed up until I had to go to work. I was dead tired, but I didn't care because of how much I care about you, Kuroo... You mean the absolute world to me, but now I'm wondering how much you mean to yourself._

\---

The food game continued, with each boy surprising each of the other with random kisses or sweet actions. Eventually, they were out of food, and the boys just succumbed to making out. Suga was the one to pull away, with Kuroo trying to chase after his lips. But Suga had to think about Kuroo in all of this. He had to realize that he couldn't just take what he wanted. He was there to help Kuroo. Even if this seemed to be helping Kuroo, Suga had to use this to his advantage.

With a pout, Kuroo sat back in his chair and sighed, pushing Suga's fork around on his plate. "Keep doing well with your recovery and sobering up, you could just possibly get more of that," Suga said as he stood up and he winked at Kuroo when the taller boy looked up at him from his seated position. There seemed to be a gleam in his eye, but it had disappeared slowly. "That's all, Kuroo. You don't have to do more than get better if you want to keep this going. If you want to stop it when you're better, too, then that's fine. I'm okay with anything."

That had to be the biggest lie there was. Suga wasn't okay with just anything, and he knew it. Deep down, he knew it would crush him if Kuroo wanted to stop doing this after he was completely sober once again. "Suga, let me ask you... Why are you doing this?" It was a soft voice, there was no anger or hint of any emotion in the voice, but there was a bit of curiosity.

This was a question that Suga wasn't prepared to answer, even if he had answered a similar question not too long ago. He wasn't ready to hear the real answer from himself, out loud. Not yet, not now, and maybe not ever. "Uh... Well, I..." Suga had to stop to clear his throat and he turned to look back at the sink, settling his plate and the plate he had taken from Kuroo, into the sink. "I told you, I care about you. I don't... I won't lose you to alcohol again, and..." It seemed to be a hard thing for Suga to even continue to think about. For one, his mind wasn't at all comfortable bringing his subconscious thoughts to a conscious level. Two, thinking about Kuroo's first recovery from alcohol was hard enough, let alone thinking about how he was going to continue helping Kuroo to recover.

If Suga were being completely honest, the look on Kuroo's face seemed to be a bit on the disappointed side. "Oh, so you're just doing it to keep me around as a friend... I got it," Kuroo said in a rather glum voice and his eyes dropped as he moved to stand. Suga wasn't sure that Kuroo was ever really like this. If Suga had to pin a similar occasion to this one, he wasn't sure that he could. Sure, he knew that everyone was allowed to be sad at times. He also knew that Kuroo was likely to display other emotions from the one he was currently displaying, or ones he had previously displayed. Especially in the process of recovery.

Sighing a bit, Suga looked down to his feet and he didn't think that he could possibly handle telling Kuroo right now how he felt. But then, it hit him. "Wait, Kuroo..." Suga said as he looked up, watching Kuroo walk back towards the bedroom. The taller boy had stopped and turned, that look still on his face. "If I'm willing to... do the things we were just doing, then the possibilities are really open... It all depends on you, Tetsu." The nerve that saying such things had to take had actually floored Suga. He wasn't sure where he had gotten the courage to say it, but it was out there now.

It wasn't enough for Kuroo though. At least, it didn't seem to be as the boy had gone back to going to the bedroom. "Kuroo..." Suga whispered, feeling his heart clench and he really felt like he had screwed the fuck up. What was he going to do now? At the very least, Kuroo was just going to sulk in his room, and Suga wasn't left to watch that pitiful face. Nor did he have to be nervous that Kuroo was hurting himself somehow, because there wasn't anything left in Kuroo's room that he could hurt himself with.

At least, that was what Suga had thought, and he was content with that thought as he did the dishes. He filled up the sink and he started to wash the plates they were using. Really, he was just minding his own business, but that was when he heard a rather peculiar sound come from the bedroom. It sounded like the sound of someone bending very hard metal, as if it were a car, or something of that sort. Having no idea what it was and being curious, Suga tilted his head and he started to walk his way towards the bedroom.

The sight he had laid his eyes on wasn't a very pleasant one, and really, Suga had gasped and he froze. "T-Tetsurou! What are you doing?" Suga asked, not sure that he even wanted to take another step towards him. The sight in front of him had been Suga sitting on the floor, his legs outstretched and he was bent over himself a bit, looking down at his bare thighs, since he had taken his pants off. "Ku... listen, you don't have to do this..."

Suga still had no idea what the sound was from, nor was he sure he wanted to know. There was a rather large, silver crate on the ground and Suga had thought he had gone through that entire thing. But apparently, Suga wasn't aware that there had been scraps of sharp silver in the bottom of the crate. He didn't know why Kuroo had those, but he had them, and Kuroo was holding one over the top of his thigh. "Why shouldn't I? I've lost everything in the last thirty six hours..." Kuroo said in a whispered tone of voice. He sounded so messed up at the moment. "What happens if you don't want me by the end of this? Are you just going to run away? Or what happens if I can't get clean?"

It was right then that Kuroo had decided to look up, and Suga's eyes met ones that were very dark, very tear-filled, and just sad overall. Taking another step closer, Suga had gotten down on his knees and put his hands up. He wasn't close enough to touch Tetsurou yet, but he would only have to move a little more if it came to it. "I'm not going to leave you until you are clean, so that means that if you can't get clean, you're stuck with me. By the end of you getting sober, I'm going to let you decide what this relationship means to you. If you want me, I'll stay. If you don't, then I will go. It's as simple as that."

Really, Suga's answers weren't helping Kuroo at all. It seemed that way, anyway. As Kuroo looked back down to his thigh, he brought the sharp object closer to his leg. "So you'll stay with me if I want you, even if you don't want to. Awesome, I guess that tells me how important I am to you," Kuroo said unfairly.

There was no time for Suga to respond, because Kuroo had pressed the metal into his thigh and had sliced the skin open. It wasn't long before Kuroo was biting his lip and the tears had started to spill over. Suga had moved quickly and held onto Kuroo's hand, pulling the sharp metal up from his skin and cursing softly to himself. There was already blood pooling in the wound. "You are important to me... Kuroo... Listen, okay? I'm not trying to be pushy with you, that's why I'm telling you it's your choice. But honestly? I... want to stay with you. So if... i-if that's what you want after this, if you want to stay with me when you're all recovered, I will stay with you. But I just don't want to push you into letting me stay if that's not what you want. Ku, please..." Suga said.

Tears were in both of their eyes, but it couldn't be helped. This was a very tough situation to be in. Honestly, Suga wasn't aware that Kuroo could get this way, nor was he aware that Kuroo was brave enough to cut his thigh like this. But it was just another thing that Suga would have to take care of. It wasn't an inconvenience, it wasn't a terrible thing. He had just learned that Kuroo was worse than he thought, so Suga had a lot more work ahead of him. "Why don't we go clean this up... There's peroxide in the bathroom and band-aids in there too... I thought I saw them in there, anyway. So... Come with me so I can get you cleaned up?"

Looking into Kuroo's eyes, Suga could just feel the dark emotions that were radiating off of Kuroo. It was rather intimidating, it was all just a sad thing to think about overall. Kuroo very clearly had self-worth issues that he needed to work on, so Suga would help him through all of that too.

After a moment, Kuroo nodded slowly, and Suga had stood up slowly, holding onto Kuroo's hand with the blade in it still. "Hey, hand that over, okay? I don't want you hurting yourself again..." It was only that little statement that had Suga's tears spilling over. Kuroo hadn't even given the object over yet, but the emotions were overwhelming and everything was just boiling over inside Suga. He threw himself at Kuroo and wrapped his arms tightly around the boy. He knew that he would have to let go soon, just so they could clean up the cut that Kuroo had inflicted onto himself. But Suga was just happy that he hadn't lost Kuroo just yet.

Finally, Suga had stopped crying enough to pull back and take Kuroo towards the bathroom. It wasn't that he really wanted to let go, nor did he know that he was going to clean the injury correctly, but he knew he had to do this for Kuroo. He knew that he had to get Kuroo through the night and he knew that he would have to make sure that Kuroo didn't have any other incidents like this. It was starting to hit Suga though, and it was harsh to think about. If he had only told Kuroo that he wanted to stay with him, if he had only told the truth, he might have saved some heartbreak.

Once in the bathroom, and once they had cleaned Kuroo up completely, he had bit his lip and he came a little closer. "Kuroo, I don't know that I can handle losing you again, so... please, don't scare me like that again. I will be devastated if I have to lose you to this damn disease again. I'm sorry that... I didn't tell you at first, but you know... I wasn't even ready to admit it to myself that I had wanted you. But please, forgive me?" Suga asked. He had put his arms around Kuroo's body and held onto him in a very close embrace. Kuroo was standing, his arms just handing down and they didn't make a move for holding onto Suga.

"I can, yeah... I just didn't like hearing that you might not stay here..." Kuroo's mind was very confusing at the moment, and he couldn't figure out what exactly he wanted, if he was being completely honest. Finally, Kuroo had wrapped his arms around Suga, and he smiled a sad smile. They shared a warm embrace, but it was still laced with emotions that Kuroo had brought forward.

What was it that Kuroo wanted? Suga was thinking about their trip to the store earlier, and he remembered how Kuroo had freaked out about the cashier calling them a couple. Or really, she had just called them cute, which was apparently offensive to Kuroo. It was such a confusing thing to hear that, and then hear Kuroo say that he was upset at the fact that Suga might not stay anymore.

But this was exactly what Suga was here for, was it not? Suga was here to help Kuroo through the worst parts of his alcoholism. He was there to support the taller man, and he was there to make sure that he didn't cause any further harm to himself or others. Really, they weren't there to start a relationship, which even Suga had to remind himself of, but it would have been a reward for either of them if that was what came out of this entire thing. "Let's go to bed, yeah? It's not late yet, but we can watch another movie and... and we can just curl up until bed time. How does that sound?"

Kuroo was about to agree, but that was when Suga's phone started to ring, and he had to look to see who it was. It was Daichi, which was really a surprise. But then it dawned on Suga that he was still waiting for a response from the unresponsive male. Suga gave a sheepish smile to Kuroo and he said, "It's really just Daichi. It will be just a minute," Suga said as he watched Kuroo walk out into the hall. Thankfully, he hadn't gone into the bedroom, because Suga wasn't too sure that he could handle seeing Kuroo go into his room again and get terrified of what else could happen.

Answering the phone, Suga started to walk his way out to follow after Kuroo, just to make sure he wasn't going to hurt himself anymore. "What's up?" Suga asked as he answered the phone.

"So for one, Bokuto is doing much better. But I got to thinking... Why don't you maybe invite other people over to the apartment? Kuroo could really get his mind off of things if there were more people around, yeah? Have like... a game night? Or just sit around and talk? Sorry, I've been bust with the doctors and such with Bo, so I haven't had a moment to answer your text back.

Suga listened to everything that Daichi had said, and he had to think about that at the moment. It probably wasn't a good idea for people to come over right now, nor was it a grand idea for everyone to see what Kuroo had been getting up to. But honestly, it was a good idea to get Kuroo's mind off of things. He really just needed Kuroo to stop stressing out. Really, he just needed Kuroo to relax and stop thinking about everything in the entire world, and focus on something else. "That might be a good idea. The scary movie was a failure anyway, because I think he wanted me to focus a little more. But... I really just can't want horror movies. You know that," Suga said.

There was a deep laugh on the other side of the line, which made Suga sigh and shake his head. He knew Daichi was laughing at him, but that was just how their relationship was. They laughed at each other. "Oh, so Suga? There's another thing. I don't know if I should be telling you this, and I don't want you to tell Kuroo this... You're not on speaker, right?"

If this was bad news about Bokuto, Suga absolutely didn't want to hear about it. But the more he knew about Bokuto, the more he could get Kuroo's mood up a bit. Since he wasn't allowed to relay the information yet, though, he was just glad that Daichi was keeping him informed. "No, he's in the living room right now, too, so he's not paying any attention."

After a rather large inhale of breath, Daichi started to speak once again. "So they think that they may be able to wake Bokuto up tomorrow night. It's not for sure yet, and I haven't asked Keiji if he's okay with me telling anyone yet, but that's what the doctors had said. He's making a lot of improvements.

Those words were magic to Suga's ears. For one, it sent relief through him because he was glad that his friend was going to wake up soon. Two, the news wasn't bad. Finally, if Daichi got the okay from Akaashi, Suga could cheer Kuroo up quickly and turn his dark emotions a little more friendly. "Wow, he might... wow, okay, that's awesome. Daichi... he might actually wake up soon! That would be awesome, wouldn't it? God, I can't want to hear his loud, booming voice again."

It was another laugh that made Suga smile, because the laugh was still coming from Daichi. It was a wonderful sound to hear, if he was being completely honest. "I still don't know that Keiji is okay with me telling anyone about it, though, so keep this news between you and I. If Akaashi is okay with me sharing the news, do you want me to text you?"

"Yes, please. If there's anything that will get Kuroo's spirits up, it will be knowing that Bokuto is okay." Maybe things were going to work out in their favor after all. "So if I convince Kuroo to have a game night, are you going to come over?" Suga asked. It was probably a bad idea for Suga to invite Daichi over anyway, especially because Daichi seemed to be helping keep Akaashi sane at the hospital. But Suga had actually wanted more updates on Bokuto, if only for Kuroo's sake. He would always love updates for himself, too, but the updates were going to keep Kuroo sane.

Daichi had let out a sigh. "As much as I'd like to try to cheer Kuroo up, I should probably stay with Akaashi. Let me know if Kuroo agrees to game night, though? I'll help convince our friends that they need to go over to spend time with him."

It was really nice to have a friend like Daichi, one that was always thinking and one that always had his back. There were times that Suga had thought about dating Daichi, there were times when he thought Daichi was the one he was meant to be with, especially with behavior like this. But when Daichi had admitted he was straight, it broke Suga's heart. So he had to move on. He had moved onto another strong, smart male, and it was obviously a boy that was interested in other boys. So Suga didn't have to worry about Kuroo telling him that he was straight. "I will. Thanks, Daichi. It will take some convincing after what's been going on, but I'll keep you updated. Thanks for staying with Akaashi, too. Anyone else there with you guys?" Suga asked and he heard Daichi sigh.

There was no way a sigh like that meant anything good. "Oh, there are people that come in to visit, but it sets Akaashi on edge every time. I think it might have to do with how Kuroo behaved that first night. So I've been telling them to come in and see Bokuto for only fifteen minutes, and go after. Akaashi is really not doing well enough to handle another incident like Kuroo caused," Daichi said through the phone and with another heavy sigh. It was sad to think that Akaashi was struggling with all of this, but it made sense that he would be struggling with it all.

Feeling his heart beat for the poor boy, Suga sighed a bit and he shook his head. "I just hope Bokuto will be okay soon, if only for his emotional state's sake. I couldn't imagine the pain he's going through." It was true, Suga really couldn't imagine going through this. For one, he wasn't in a serious relationship. Two, it wouldn't be the same if it was just a friend. That was what it was for Bokuto and Suga was struggling as it was with all of the stuff he had learned. "But I'm going to go, just so I know Kuroo is okay. He's been having a tough go of this." Suga realized then that Bokuto and Kuroo were only friends as well, but that didn't mean that Kuroo felt any less. Their relationship did seem to be a little different though, so it was just the fact that the two boys had a closer relationship to one another than Suga had with any of his friends.

"Alright. I'll keep you to date, and let me know the verdict on inviting people over there, yeah?" Daichi had asked. Suga agreed and they said their goodbyes before Suga went out to the living room to find Kuroo. Thankfully enough, Kuroo was just sitting on the couch and he seemed to be going through his phone.

This was quite a situation to be in, Suga thought. He knew that Kuroo knew that he wanted to be around Kuroo, but his body language was screaming for Suga to stay away. His anxiety about this entire situation had caused Suga to just stand there, leaned against the door frame, and longing for Kuroo. "So, hey, you know what? Even though we had our moment alone a bit ago, and even though you might not be in the mood for anything at the moment, I have an idea. We should invite people over, and we should get your mind on anything else."

The look that Kuroo shot Suga felt like ice and it was a very frigid look. Apparently, that was the worst thing to suggest at the moment. "I don't need to get my mind on anything else, other than Bokuto. He needs all of my attention. You know, I don't know why you were distracting me with the idea of a relationship anyway, since Bokuto deserves every ounce of my brain power at the moment," Kuroo said in a dark voice before he turned his eyes down to his phone once more.

Well, that was a failed attempt, but Suga could feel his insides twisting up. "Kuroo... I think you're just very jumbled right now. If you don't want to think about relationships right now, that's fine. We don't have to think about it. We also don't have to talk about me staying or going after you're clean, but the one thing I know that you can't focus on is Bokuto. It will just keep you down in this sad state and it will make you want to drink again. So please, let's go do something else. That's why I suggested inviting people over, because maybe they can take your mind off of Bokuto."

Tension was running very high in the room at the moment. It was a tension that seemed as if nothing could get through, and it was very suffocating at the moment. "I don't want to get my mind off of Bokuto, though! He deserves my attention! I'm trying to text people to see if they've heard anything, but no one is talking to me. Suga, why don't you just go?"

Those words that Kuroo had just said caused so much pain and tension inside him at the moment. Suga looked at how serious Kuroo had been at that statement, and it really did seem to be very serious. But that wasn't how these things were supposed to go. This wasn't how Suga was going to leave things. "Kuroo, you know I won't do that. I refuse to leave until you're completely better. So you're just going to have to deal with me sticking around." This was starting to turn into a fight that Suga didn't want to have, but hopefully it would be over soon.

Finally, it seemed like Kuroo was letting down his angry, dark wall, and he was going to let Suga work down his defenses. His shoulders had started to slump and he just seemed tired. Suga slowly came closer at that moment, and the boy had taken a seat next to Kuroo. "So what do you say? Can we invite some people over and get your mind on something happy?" Suga asked, reaching out for Kuroo's hands.

There was no fight left in the boy, there was nothing to stop Suga from grabbing his hands. He actually returned the hold that Suga had on them, which was really surprising. "I'm in such a weird place, Koushi... I want to go see Bo, but since I can't, I want to drink. But because you're here and you're having me fight to get sober, I want you here... but my mind still wants me to drink and all I want is to think about Kou..."

"That's why I want you to get thinking about something else, so we can get you in better spirits, okay? You deserve to be happier and you deserve to be able to go see Bokuto when he wakes up, which I'm sure he will at some point. So we need to get you happy and stop you from thinking about alcohol. So what do you say? Can I invite people over?" Suga asked softly. He didn't want to push passed Kuroo's level of comfort, so whatever the answer was, he was going to support it.

When a sigh had happened, Suga had finally saw a nod from Kuroo and he squeezed Kuroo's hands before he pulled away to text Daichi and start calling up some people that could possibly be interested in coming over and spending time with Kuroo. He was just hoping that Suga and Daichi could convince a few people to come over, so the poor boy could really get his mind on something else for the time being.

After nearly twenty minutes of attempting and Daichi attempting to help as well, they had gotten a few people to agree to come over, and Suga had crashed back down on the couch. "Okay, so Tsukishima and Yamaguchi are coming over, Kenma is coming and dragging Lev with him I guess, and then... Hinata said he could come after work, and Tanaka might try to stop by. I think that's a pretty good group, what do you think?" Suga asked as he looked over to Kuroo, who was wrapped up in his phone once again.

There were tears forming in Kuroo's eyes, and he had curled up into himself a little more, but he was still very focused on his phone at the moment. "Bokuto's smile is infectious... H-he always looks so happy in pictures..." Kuroo let out a shuttering sigh, and Suga reached gently for Kuroo's phone.

Once he got the phone away from Kuroo, Suga had pulled Kuroo against him and held him tightly once more, shushing him gently. "This is why I'm inviting people over, so we can get your mind off of that crazy, silly man. We're going to play games, watch goofy movies, or just anything to get your mind elsewhere."

It was then that Suga had gotten up slowly and he pulled away from Kuroo, who had looked at him as though he was being abandoned. "I'm just going to get the TV so we can bring it out here, okay? That way, we can watch movies if you want to." That was really the only plan that Suga had. He also wanted to make sure the bathroom was cleaned up enough that he felt comfortable enough to let people go and use it.

The whole process didn't take longer than a few minutes when Suga had finally heard people knocking on the door. It had all happened a little faster than he was anticipating, but he was just glad that people were actually showing up this time. Kuroo took over setting up the television while Suga went to go answer the door. It was Tsukki and Yamaguchi, which he was honestly glad to see. "Hey guys, Kuroo's in the living room. Kenma and Lev are also coming over, and then Hinata and Tanaka might try to come by too. But come on in. We have drinks, the bathroom is in the back over that way, and we're just going to have a fun, easy night." Suga said.

After an exchanged pair of looks had happened between the two boys, Yamaguchi took a breath. "Suga, are you okay? This isn't your house, and Kuroo isn't just your responsibility..." he said as he stepped inside and Tsukishima followed in after him.

Yamaguchi's question was fair. Kuroo wasn't meant to be just his responsibility. Kuroo wasn't meant to relapse again either, though. "Well, I mean... I know he's not just my responsibility, but I noticed that everyone else seemed to be busy with Bokuto and they didn't notice how much Kuroo was struggling. Since my work isn't really too worried about me being there all the time and they are cool with me missing work because of Bo, I would try to take care of Kuroo..." Suga wasn't sure that he really had to do any explaining, or of he was going to have to explain what he was doing there even further. He was likely going to have to explain further, and everyone would know just how much of a crush he had on Kuroo finally.

Letting out a bit of a sigh, Tsukki had nodded. "We appreciate you taking care of him and making sure that he isn't a danger to himself or anyone else. We just worry about you, Suga. Akaashi also asked Suga to take care of him, didn't he?" he asked, and that was what made Suga nod.

"I hear you all out there," Kuroo had called from the living room, and Tsukishima groaned, heading towards the living room as Yamaguchi stayed with Suga. Tsukishima was really the best one to handle Kuroo when he was being sassy, and this was honestly the best pair that could have come over for Kuroo's current mood.

After a few moments, Suga had heard another knock at the door. Since he and Yamaguchi were standing right there, the two that were at the door next had been surprised greatly. It was Hinata and Kageyama, surprisingly, and Tanaka was walking up the sidewalk to come in as well. "Come on in, the living room is over there," Suga said as the three had come in side. Once they were settled in the living room, Suga had peeked his head in and he looked to see what was happening.

The sight in front of him was actually a good sight to see. It was relieving to know that Kuroo and Tsukki were in the middle of the room, and they seemed to be playing a group game of some sort. Suga was just content with watching for a moment. That was when the door had opened again, and Suga whipped his head around to see Kenma dragging Lev into the apartment. Suga had a feeling that Kenma only didn't knock because Kenma was Kuroo's other best friend. The boy probably had permission to come into the house like that.

"What's going on?" Kenma asked as he approached the living room and he let go of Lev, who groaned and went into the living room. "By the way, how is he doing?" Kenma asked as he watched the game they were all playing. People were shouting things at Kuroo and Tsukki, so Suga had to guess that they were playing charades.

When Suga looked back, he sighed a bit. "Well, it's a game of some sort. Probably charades it seems like now. And Kuroo... well, he could be better. It's been such a long, emotional day. He might get fired from his job, we found out just how messed up his emotions are because he's been going through all of them today, and he really doesn't seem to like Akaashi even more right now. But we're managing."

A little laugh was let out by Kenma, and he watched as Lev went in and sat on the floor, watching what Kuroo and Tsukki were trying to act out. "So, does he know yet?" the shorter male asked, leaning against the other door frame.

It took Suga a moment to realize that Kenma had been speaking. Kuroo was distracting him with the way he was moving to try to act out some sort of move. Whoever suggested charades, Suga would have to thank him, because it seemed to be doing good for Kuroo right now. "Huh? Oh, uh... wait, know what?" Suga asked, a bit confused.

When Kenma snorted, Suga wondered what it was that he had missed. "Does Kuroo know how much you like him?" Kenma asked with a smirk that he covered with his hand a bit, trying to hide that he had found this amusing.

After a moment or two, Suga sighed and he looked back to the group, and they were laughing. "He... knows that I want to at least stay, and I don't want to leave just yet. So he might know, but he also might not actually know how I feel. I don't know. I'm having too much trouble with him and his addiction lately to actually confess how I feel, you know?" Suga said and Kenma nodded. "We should go join them."

The boy with the duo-colored hair nodded and he went towards Lev, leaning against him as Suga went in and sat down next to Yamaguchi. "You know, before Tsukki and I started dating, Kei was obsessed with Kuroo. It seemed like he and Kuroo were going to start dating, but... I don't know what happened with that. I'm glad they never did, because I get to have a chance at being happy again. But I also don't know how I feel about seeing them be like this..." Yamaguchi let out a bit of a sigh. "But we're here to help Kuroo, so if this helps, then I will be okay." It seemed as if Yamaguchi really wasn't okay with what he was witnessing in front of him.

Now Suga's mind had gotten into his mind that Kuroo like Tsukishima, a taken boy, and it started to make Suga feel nauseous. "Well, uh... if it makes you feel any better, I think Kuroo is a little too wrapped up in Bokuto things and... And I think he and I actually might eventually start dating."

It was that right there that made Yamaguchi jump and whip his head over to Suga. "You... and Kuroo? Huh, wow, that was something I never saw coming," Tadashi said with a smile. "I wish you luck with all of that. I think you two would be good together!" Yamaguchi had said softly, snickering and such behind his palm.

Letting out a quiet groan, Suga had covered his face and he decided that Yamaguchi could no longer be trusted about these things. "We could be, if he stays sober and wants to keep me around after... He's in a weird place emotionally right now, though. And since Bokuto is still in the hospital, he will stay in that weird place at least until Bokuto is awake and he gets to go see him."

The look on Yamaguchi's face faltered as he removed the palm from his mouth, and he let out a sigh. "As much as I care about Kuroo and as much as Bo would want him there, it was rather scary to see Kuroo react the way he did and get drunk. I really don't blame Akaashi for wanting to keep him out, do you?" Tadashi asked as he scratched at the back of his dark hair.

Suga had shrugged and he licked at his lips. "I get it, I honestly do, and Akaashi is right for keeping Kuroo out after what he did. But at the same time, I think the situation should have been handled differently. Kuroo might not have relapsed... Or at least, it wouldn't be this bad if he had just gotten a chance to see Bokuto again. That's how I feel, though, and I know it must be different being in Akaashi's shoes."

If Suga were being honest, he was very conflicted about how all of this had happened. He remembered the story of Kuroo getting kicked out of the hospital and he remembered why it happened that way. He also remembered how Kuroo was when he had gone in the first night to check on him back at home. But if any of the boys had thought that maybe Kuroo would sober up again if he got in to see Bokuto, things wouldn't have gone this way. It was still a very difficult thing to think about. Before, Suga was defending Akaashi. But now, he felt bad for Kuroo. This whole thing was only being made worse by Akaashi's denial of entrance in, so Kuroo could get the chance to see Bo. "Yeah... It is different, really. I don't know how I'd feel if it were Tsukki in his shoes and one of you had behaved like this, particularly Kuroo, because I know they are close too... Honestly, I think I would do the same as Akaashi did and keep Kuroo out."

Really, Suga couldn't blame Yamaguchi for thinking like that. He didn't even blame Akaashi for keeping Kuroo out. But it was just the way it was all unfolding and how this all could have been avoided. "Let's talk about something else, yeah? As bad as I feel for Akaashi and Bokuto, I can't get myself to keep thinking about them, because I just care too much about Kuroo right now and it's just too sad to keep thinking about them and the-" Suga was cut off very rudely by Kuroo, who was standing alone in the middle of the room and he had whistled to get everyone to quiet down.

"So, does anyone know why you're here?" Kuroo asked with a bit of a sarcastic tone to his voice. There was absolutely no way this was going to end well.

After another moment of everyone shaking their head and Tsukki sighed as he came over to sit next to Yams. "Kuroo, we're here because we want to spend time with you. We are all in town and we figured it would be good to spend time with you." It was a very brave thing that Tsukki had done right then, to just lie to Kuroo like that. But Kuroo knew what they were all doing there, so he was probably going to tell them. Suga knew that Tsukki knew the truth behind it all, too, so the boy had definitely just lied to Kuroo.

It was a bit of a snicker and Kuroo rolled his eyes as he sat down. "You area ll here because Suga wants me to stop thinking about Bokuto. He wants you all to stick around to cheer me up. No offense, but it's not going to work. I can't just stop thinking about Bokuto," Kuroo had said as he threw his arms up into the air. "But let's make the best of this, right Suga? We're all here, so we might as well do something pointless, like play a dumb game." Kuroo had

The feeling that was building up inside Suga had begun to multiply with every passing second and every utterance from Kuroo. It was one of shame, it was one of pity. It was just a bad feeling, and Suga wondered when he would stop feeling like this. It probably wouldn't happen until the night was all over, but it was such an uncomfortable feeling to have. "Well, it doesn't have to be pointless. We could play a board game, and the boards would have points..." Kageyama had an odd look on his face when he had said that. The entire room had gone still, and everyone was looking at Kageyama. "Or we could play a card game. There's lots of points on the cards, and it definitely wouldn't be point-"

"Babe, I love you, but please shut up..." Hinata had said. It took about three seconds or so, but the entire room burst out into laughter as Hinata tried to explain what Kuroo was trying to say by 'pointless' game. It wasn't common that Hinata would be the one to explain things to Kageyama, but apparently college had done the boy some good.

After everyone seemed to be in better spirits, including Kuroo, Suga cleared his throat and he sat up a bit. "So what do you say? We could play a round of mafia maybe? Or we could go back to playing charades?"

At that point, Tsukishima had snorted and he shook his head. "But if we go back to charades, it would be pointless." That comment made the room erupt into laughter once again, other than Kageyama, who had been glaring at Tsukishima. Suga couldn't help but laugh, and he had glanced over to see that Kuroo had been laughing too. Even if the first part of the night hadn't gone as planned, it seemed to be going uphill from here. They all could use a bit of humor, Suga figured. He was glad that Hinata had dragged Kageyama with him.

The group had played a few different games, including mafia and charades. They also attempted to play a round of super fight, and it ended up getting Kuroo in a playful fight with Lev, who had taken super fight literally. When the night was all over, Kuroo and Suga had walked everyone to the door and they waved everyone goodbye. Tadashi and Kei were the last two to leave, and Tadashi had looked over at Kei and Tetsurou, who were just chatting away animatedly. It was a nice sight to see, and Yamaguchi seemed to be pleased with it as well.

"Tonight went over better than I was expecting. It did seem to get Kuroo into a better mood," Suga said softly, glancing over at Yamaguchi, who was looking at his phone.

It took a minute for the dark-haired boy to look up, but he had finally. He was gaping for a moment, and he slowly passed his phone over to Suga, who had taken it and looked over the text. It was from Akaashi, and Suga smiled. Apparently, Akaashi had decided that telling people about Bokuto potentially being woken up the next day would be a good thing. He had asked that everyone respected their privacy and ask before coming over first, though, which Suga agreed with. "I knew about this. Daichi told me earlier today," Suga said as he looked up from his phone. "He just asked me to keep it quiet until Akaashi gave the okay to tell people."

A great smile had grown across Tadashi's face, and he looked over at the other boys. "I wonder how Kuroo will react to knowing that. Maybe it will cheer him up even further," Yamaguchi offered as he looked back at Suga.

But that was when it had hit Suga slowly, and he shook his head a bit. If Suga made Kuroo lose momentum, he would never forgive himself. "Uh... actually, you know what? I might not tell him. He did so well tonight, I don't want to see this whole bit of progress disappear, just because I tell him about what's happening with Bo..." Suga was stuck between a rock and a hard place at the moment. If he told Kuroo, he might be back on the Bokuto train and just keep on focusing on Bokuto. If he didn't tell him and he found out some other way, he would start to hate Suga.

It was only a moment or two more when Tsukki had approached Suga and Yams. "I think we should head home, dear. Thanks for having us over, Suga. It was actually a fun night," Kei had said as he helped Tadashi stand. The two embraced for a minute, but they finally pulled away and started to head towards the door.

"Have a good night!" Suga called out after them. Once they were gone, Suga had thrown himself down on the couch and let out a sigh. It really had been a good night, although he just hoped that Kuroo felt the same way.

Kuroo had come over to join Suga on the couch and he leaned into to smaller boy, who had wrapped an arm around Kuroo. "Thanks for doing this, Suga. I forgot how much fun it was to have nights like this. It was clean, honest fun," Kuroo had said with a smile.

It was moments like this that Suga had wished that things were different. If only Bokuto wasn't still in the hospital, if only Suga wasn't there to try to sober Kuroo up again and was there to stay, and if only everything was perfect with their friend groups, would moments like this even be more than just perfect. But unfortunately, there were still things wrong. Unfortunately, Suga was still there to help Kuroo with his recovery, and he wasn't there to stay just yet.

Finally, the pair of boys had retired to bed, and Kuroo watched as Suga had gone back to the chair. The look on his face looked disappointed again, and Suga had picked up his pillow before turning around to see Kuroo. He could tell that Kuroo really didn't want Suga to lay in the chair again, so Suga smiled softly as he approached the bed. He climbed over Kuroo and laid down, rolling on his side. "I won't go anywhere if you don't want me to. I might not go anywhere, even if you say you want me to," Suga said as he watched Kuroo roll closer to him.

They didn't say anything else, nor did it take long for either of them to fall asleep. Suga woke up a few hours later to a whimpering, crying Kuroo. "Hey, Tetsu...?" Suga whispered in a soft, inquisitive voice. As he pushed himself up a bit to see Kuroo, who had rolled over again, he looked at his face and he realized that Kuroo was asleep. He was crying as he slept, and the tears were streaming down his cheeks. Suga pouted just a bit as he laid back down, and he reached out to rub at Kuroo's back to try to soothe him. "You're okay... you're gonna be okay..."


	7. Chapter 7

_You need to realize that you mean the world to us all, and you are an important person to have around. We wouldn't want to live without you, Kuroo. Please don't make us live without you. Please don't try to push us away, because we really want to help you. I know you don't believe it, but we love you, bro. We care about you so much. Can't you see it? Can't you see how much we want you around?_

\---

Honestly, it was really rather ironic that the sky was pouring out the next morning, as tears had been shed the entire night, all the way until morning started to break the darkness. They were still being shed when the sun began to rise high into the sky. It wasn't until the light had started to shine on Suga's face from the bright rays of sun that were shining through the window that there was movement more than chests rising and falling. It was an odd occurrence, as the sun was shining very brightly, but it was still pouring from the clouds in the sky.

Slowly, but surely, Suga had pulled himself out of his sleepy state and shifted in bed, trying to get his face out of the sun that was shining onto him. As he pressed his face into the back of the shoulder blade that belonged to one Kuroo Tetsurou, he was reminded that Kuroo had been crying in the night. Feeling Kuroo's breathing pattern, Suga realized it was more normalized than when he had felt Kuroo crying and heard his whimpering. It was eventually good enough for Suga, that he pulled away and slipped out of bed carefully.

The sight of Kuroo lying in bed, no longer crying and just sleeping there gave Suga's heart a bit of a tug. It was definitely a blessing to see this boy in front of him. Kuroo had always been beyond gorgeous, so it was a treat to be able to see him in such a defenseless state. He was very vulnerable just lying there. Crouching down and smiling gently, Suga pressed a kiss to Kuroo's nose in such an adorable fashion before he stood up and went to go out to his car. He wasn't sure that he had any clothing of his own in his car, or any clothing at all for that matter, but he was certainly going to look.

Once he had checked quickly, because it was still pouring out, Suga had gone back inside and he sighed. There weren't any clothes in his car, so Suga was going to have to wear Kuroo's clothing again. Not that he could really see a downside to that fact, but he was just curious if Kuroo would be okay with that.

As he entered the bedroom again, he noticed that Kuroo was in the same position on his side, so he decided to look through his dresser again for another shirt to wear. That was when he had found one of Kuroo's Nekoma high shirts, and he smiled as he smelled it. Even after years of being washed, after months of being in the dresser Suga figured, the shirt still smelled like Kuroo and Kuroo's sweet sweat. Not that Kuroo had really changed much since high school, but Suga was hoping that this shirt wouldn't be too baggy on him, as he wanted to wear this shirt and feel more connected to Kuroo.

Humming very gently and changing into the shirt, Suga looked down to his pants and he sighed. He needed to change his shorts and boxers, so he would just have to borrow a pair of Kuroo's boxers once more. Reaching into the dresser again and dropping his own boxers, he heard a surprised sound come from behind him, and Suga's neck turned to the sound in a very quick fashion. Apparently, the soft humming had woken Kuroo up, and it was something that Suga felt bad about in that moment. "Oh, good morning! I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to borrow some of your clothes again. We could always stop by my apartment if you'd rather, though," Suga said with a sheepish smile on his face.

Kuroo had continued to lay there, his eyes grazing over Suga and probing his body with curious eyes. Letting out a bit of a laugh, Kuroo slowly pushed himself up to a sitting position. "You can wear my old Nekoma shirt, that's fine. My boxers too, if you are really inclined. Wear what you want of mine," he said. His eyes were still clearly on a very private part of Suga, but Suga didn't seem to be hiding his ass at all, nor did he care that Kuroo was looking at him the way he was. It actually made him feel good.

"If you're sure," Suga said as he slowly stepped into a pair of Kuroo's boxers. They were a little big for him if he was being honest, but Suga really didn't care. He could roll them up on his hips and make them stay there. Turning around, he also stepped into a pair of Kuroo's shorts and he smiled to Kuroo. "So, tell me, dangerous one. What would you like to do today?" he asked as he looked Kuroo over. His wild bedhead astounded Suga, but it wasn't like Kuroo would ever really want to try to change anything about his hair anyway, nor did Suga want him to. It was still rather crazy to think that all of that had happened in a night.

A hand ran over Kuroo's face and he took a rather big yawn. "You're the dangerous one. Look at you, being all attractive like that. It's more than dangerous, especially to men like myself," Kuroo said with a bit of a smile. It was cheeky, as if Kuroo was making a bit of a dirty comment. That didn't bother Suga in the slightest. It seemed with that comment, Kuroo was really starting to come back to himself. At the very least, it felt like the Kuroo that Suga had remembered.

Grinning a bit as Suga walked over to the bed, he took a seat on the edge of the bed and he yawned a bit, not realizing that they had really only slept for six hours. Since Suga had woken up to Kuroo being upset in his sleep, Suga really didn't get the best sleep. But they would have to either manage, or they would just have to take a nap later. Suga really wasn't complaining about that fact, because it was nice to get to sleep with Kuroo. "You didn't answer me, innocent black cat," Suga said as he poked at Kuroo's thigh, getting a bit of a reaction to that action.

Jumping a bit at the poke to his thigh, Kuroo started to gape at Suga before he relaxed. "I am an innocent cat. I have the black hair to go with it, too. But uh... I don't know, really. Maybe we could go for a walk if it stops raining? I don't want to stay in the apartment all day. We could go out in the rain, but I only have a small umbrella, so we'd have to walk really close out there," Kuroo said in a very matter-of-fact voice.

This was probably one of the best conversations the boys could be having. It was very lighthearted and they were both having fun with it. "Well, we were sleeping pretty close to one another last night, if you didn't notice. Do you really think I care about standing close together under an umbrella?" Suga asked cutely.

Chuckling seemed to be a very good theme for this morning, as Kuroo let out his own chuckle and he leaned his head against the headboard once again. "I was only warning you. I wasn't sure how you felt about walking close to me," he said with a bit of a wink. 

That little eye movement had made Suga want to pounce on the boy and start to kiss him. It made him want to get the smug look off of his face and he wanted to show him just how he felt about walking close to the boy. But it was something that really just couldn't happen. Not right then, not until they were confidently in a relationship. "Well, I can show you how walking close to you makes me feel, if you want. But hey, we should get you some food before we go do anything else."

Right then, Kuroo's smile faltered for a few seconds, but he pulled the smile back onto his face. Not that Suga really knew how this had bothered him so much, but it really had put Kuroo's mood off, which had made Suga's smile falter too. It couldn't be over, though. Their fun really couldn't be over. "You know, you really are doing good with staying sober. I'm ready to award you more," Suga said as his smile brightened.

This hadn't perked Kuroo up the way Suga had wanted to perk him up. It did get him a bit more curious and to raise an eyebrow, but his smile was about gone now. Letting out a bit of a sigh, Kuroo had his defenses back up. This was not what Suga had wanted. "Or, you know, I have a bit of news about Bokuto if you want to hear," Suga said as he looked away.

It was that particular phrase that had gotten Tetsurou to actually perk up and he had looked over to Suga once more. "Oh? You have news about Bokuto?" Kuroo asked in a very curious voice and he leaned a little closer to Suga, as if it was a secret and as if there was anything listening into their conversation at the moment. But they were alone in Kuroo's bedroom. This had been cute, though.

Taking a breath, Suga had stood up and he went to go pick up his phone just to see what Daichi had sent him that morning. He wasn't so terribly sure that Daichi had even messaged him, but he really wasn't to keen on the fact that he wasn't able to tell Kuroo unless he had to approval to do so. Noticing that Daichi had in fact sent him a message, Suga read through it.

_D: Hey, so Akaashi says we can tell people. He didn't seem to be super okay with having Kuroo know about this, but he did say that Kuroo can know anyway. It might not be the best idea to tell him, but I'd say that telling him is probably the best idea anyway._

That text message had to be the best bit of news the boy had gotten in a while. Suga's smile had brightened up and he looked over to Kuroo, who had been patiently awaiting the news that Suga had apparently had. "Okay, so... What would be the best news about Bokuto right now?" Suga asked, trying to get Kuroo even more worked up and excited about all of this.

Seeing Suga's smile and feeling like this news was going to be good and very lighthearted, Kuroo couldn't help but start to grin himself. "Suga, if you tell me he's awake... I think I might lose it..." Kuroo croaked out, his voice starting to get more emotional and thick than he wanted it to be. He pushed his hair out of his face a bit, and Suga reached up to adjust Kuroo's hair, just to make it seem more like the Kuroo that he knew.

As they looked at one another, Suga hummed gently and he tilted his head, letting his hand fall down onto Kuroo's lap. "Well, he's not awake... not _yet_ , but... the doctors said that they are going to try to wake him up today. They said that he's doing a lot better physically and his tests seem to be coming back positive."

Getting the chance to see Kuroo's face light up like this was all the encouragement that Suga could ever need. Honestly, it was really the only thing that Kuroo had needed to make it through another day. If Akaashi could see this reaction, he would feel bad about keeping Bokuto away from him and see why Kuroo needed the boy so bad.

Thinking to himself, Kuroo didn't even think he would have to consider the poison anymore, and he would be happy enough to live on his own without any of that if Bokuto was around. "He's... they're going to wake him up today? Oh god, can we go see him? Can you tell Akaashi that I'm doing well enough now to get to go see him?" Kuroo asked in a quick manner. His hands were around his face, cupping his eyes, just because he was trying to wrap his brain around all of this currently.

Hearing that question, a frown formed onto a pair of apologetic lips. "Kuroo, even if I asked him if you could come, and if I told him you were doing better, which really, you are... I don't know if he's going to want anyone there to watch Bokuto wake up. It's such an emotional thing, and I'm not sure that Keiji is really prepared to have anyone there. He might not even let Daichi stick around," Suga said in a saddened voice.

Clearly, that was not something that Kuroo had wanted to hear, as Suga could see the anger start to fill up his seething expression. "Akaashi can't keep Bokuto's friends away! There is no way that Bokuto would want me to miss the moment that he woke up again. Keiji is a crazy bitch if he thinks that I'm going to stay away after hearing that," Kuroo said in a voice that had been raised.

Sighing another sigh and looking down to his hands, Suga had shook his head. "It's not right for Akaashi to keep his friends, particularly you, away. But... He is right for wanting some space. Even though you two have an unbeatable bro relationship, and there is nothing more powerful than your two's relationship, what Akaashi has with Bokuto is a little different. Wouldn't you say? It's more romantic, more personal, and maybe just... a little closer than what the two of you have?"

Those were not the words that Kuroo wanted to hear. He wanted Suga to be on his side and he wanted support to be able to go see Bokuto. He needed to see his best friend when he was woken up. There was absolutely no way that Akaashi could keep him away from his best friend in the world. "Why does that matter? Keiji doesn't have any right to keep us from him, not when he's going to want to see his friends!" Kuroo was getting more than frustrated with all of this, and the boy stood up from the bed, going to go pace around the bedroom. His nerves were overreacting and they were going into overdrive at the moment.

If Suga could go anything, he would. But really, he owed it to Kuroo to at least try to reach out to Akaashi. His brain at least thought that he owed it to Kuroo, anyway. Things were starting to get a little complicated and the boys were playing such a tug of war game with their emotions as of late. Suga wasn't so sure how much he could really tolerate anymore. "I will talk to him okay? I'm not promising anything, but I can try to talk to him about all of this and I'll let him know how you're doing," Suga said softly, going into his phone to compose a text to Akaashi.

There was no telling how any of this would turn out for either boy, and there was no telling how Akaashi would react to Kuroo wanting to see Bokuto on the night they were meant to wake him up. Suga had thought that he wanted this. He thought that he wanted to be with Kuroo, and he thought he could handle anything that Kuroo had to throw his way. But all of this was just becoming a little too much at the moment. Maybe it would be good to clear his head somehow. "Hey, so... I'll still text Akaashi to ask him about all of this, but do you think we could maybe go out today to get some fresh air? Maybe we can see if any of the schools are hosting a sport game? Just something for us to get lost in?"

When Suga had said that, Kuroo looked over to Suga and the look on his face had actual remorse written all over it. The tone to Suga's voice was not a nice tone, and it dampened the mood a bit. "Uh... yeah, I guess we can go see if there's a game today. That wouldn't be so bad I guess," Kuroo had said as he went to go get changed himself.

Pulling out a white shirt and a pair of red sport shorts, Kuroo stepped back a bit and he felt a body pressed up behind him. "Or... We could do something else to spend the day. I do want to reward you for how good you've been about all this, you know. I'm proud of you..." Suga said with a hint of something cheeky in his voice.

Now, Kuroo really wasn't in the right mental frame of mind to handle Suga being like this. He didn't know that he would ever be able to handle this from Suga. Hell, he didn't know that he would ever be able to handle Suga being like this. How did any of this even happen? When did it happen, and why was Suga being so affectionate? It wasn't that Kuroo didn't want this kind of attention from Suga, it also wasn't that he didn't want to feel taken care of. But it was just such a new thing to be feeling, that it was really such a surprise to Kuroo in general. "How proud of me...?"

That was when Kuroo had felt it. His face had gone slack and he hummed at the feeling of Suga's lips pressing against his bare back. "So very proud, Kuroo. You've made so much progress and you fill up my heart with joy. You fill up more than just my heart. That's how proud I am," Suga said in a very cheeky voice. He continued to press kisses along Kuroo's back and a hand had traveled around to Kuroo's bare stomach. The cool fingers were pressing against his stomach, and just as they were beginning to travel downward to what Kuroo had been anticipating, Suga pulled away.

Freezing, Kuroo had gotten more than confused. "Suga...?" Kuroo squeaked out as he turned around slowly to look at Suga.

"You can get more later, but we should get out of here. We can grab breakfast on the way somewhere." Suga had winked a bit as he went towards the door. It was such a despicable thing to do, and Kuroo had the beginnings of a situation in his pants. That was going to be difficult to handle if they were out and about in the city, looking for a game to attend. He wouldn't want to go around the city having a hard on, so he would either have to get rid of it the hard way, or the easy way.

Changing and doing his best not to touch himself, he tried his best to think the least attractive things he possibly could, and that was when his mind started to flood him with thoughts of Bokuto being in the hospital. That certainly was not a turn on in the least, although his best friend was an attractive man. He never had thoughts about Bokuto like that, no matter how far their broship had developed. Even when Akaashi and Bokuto were going through problems and it seemed like they were about to break up, Kuroo would never let himself think of Bokuto more than just a friend. Being bros was more than enough.

As his erection had disappeared, Kuroo took a breath to go out into the kitchen to find Suga. He was busy typing away on his phone, hopefully trying to contact Akaashi about letting Kuroo come and visit. Once Suga had noticed that Kuroo was out in the kitchen, he smiled to the boy and he started to go towards the door. But that was when all thoughts of Bokuto had been shoved out of his mind, and Suga was back in Kuroo's mind.

"You're awful," Kuroo said in a husky voice, getting Suga to turn around after he had started to shove shoes on his feet. That was when Suga had given Kuroo a bit of a wink, and he started to look back towards the front door. "I don't think you know just how awful you are," Kuroo said with a bite to his voice.

Clicking his tongue against his teeth, Suga came over to Kuroo and stood a little to close for comfort, especially if Kuroo had wanted to keep himself from getting turned on. Suga had hummed a bit and he had looked Kuroo over, focusing particularly on Kuroo's groin. "I don't know how I could have been that awful to you, Kuroo babe. I don't see anything wrong with you right now." The innocent look on Suga's face had started to cause Kuroo a headache.

Right when Kuroo had gone to grab for Kuroo's jaw, he watched as Suga turned around and pressed his back against Kuroo's chest. "Can I feel how awful I am, though?" I want to feel how awful you claim I've been to you." That was when Suga's back bent a bit and he started to press himself into Kuroo.

A groan had made its way out of Kuroo's throat, and he held onto Suga's hips gently. He was starting to get hard once again, and there was no way that Suga was getting out of at least assisting with the process of getting off. "Oh, I think I'm starting to feel how I could have been bad..." Suga said, still clinging onto the innocent tone in his voice. Kuroo wasn't buying it, but it was still such a turn on.

There was absolutely no way that Kuroo was going to last with the way that Suga was grinding against his dick, and there was no way that he wanted to last, particularly if the boys were supposed to go out into the city today. "S-Suga... fuck," Kuroo breathed out, pressing himself into Suga a little more. That was when Kuroo had a thought and he grabbed onto Suga's hips, twisting the boy around and getting Suga to face him. "We can't. Not like this..."

The cheeky look on Suga's face had faltered for another moment, but he looked up at the dark, lust-filled eyes of Kuroo's, and he wasn't so sure he had to be worried. "Then like how, babe?" Suga asked with another innocent voice. He was far from innocent, and he was playing to Kuroo's weaknesses. It was a weakness that Kuroo didn't even know he had. Sure, he had never actually been in a relationship other than the month he and Kenma had tried to date, and there had been a few one night stands that had come back for seconds and thirds, but that was all it had ever been for Kuroo.

Taking steps backwards into the hall and holding onto Suga's hips as he walked, he dragged the boy back into the bedroom.

There were echoes of moans and groans, and they let it last for nearly two hours. Each boy had reached their highs more than once that morning, and each boy was thoroughly exhausted by the time it was done. Letting out a bit of a laugh, Suga pushed himself up on his arms and he looked over at Kuroo. "Well, we definitely found something to do for the morning, didn't we?" Suga asked with a smile as he looked over at Kuroo.

This really wasn't exactly something that either boy was expecting, although Suga could absolutely blame himself over all of this. He knew exactly what he was doing when he came behind Kuroo to kiss his back the way he had. He knew that he was being unfair as it was, but he hadn't anticipated it to coming to having sex like that. Now that he had experienced what it was like to have sex with Kuroo, and now that he knew his feelings for Kuroo couldn't be ignored, he was just hoping that Kuroo would feel the same way and not kick him out. "Yeah. We definitely did," Kuroo said.

It could just be that Kuroo was exhausted, but there was something else in Kuroo's voice that Suga couldn't quite place at the moment. It sounded like he was going back to his sad, depressed state, and it could just be from the amount of fun they had just had, and now that it was over, Kuroo was crashing from the high. But Suga was still worried. As Suga looked over and leaned over Kuroo a bit, he started to drag his fingers over Kuroo's stomach. There were places that Suga's fingers had already worked over and there were going to be marks, potentially bruises there. "We can stay home if you want. We don't have to go out."

There was a bit of a sound that Kuroo had made, and it was a mix between a groan and a whine. There was honestly no telling what the sound was from. There was no telling what reason Kuroo had for making such a sound, but Suga thought that it was likely a sound of protest. That was what it sounded like, anyway. "But you wanted to go out, Suga. I don't want to take that away from you. So we're going to a sport's game to look like total gross men? Or what?"

Suga wasn't entirely sure what the gross men comment could mean, but he cocked an eyebrow regardless. "I mean... We could go to the movies, too? Or we could just... It doesn't have to be a high school sport's game, it could be a college one, or we could go pay to see the professionals. I don't care what we do, honestly, as long as we aren't cooped up in this apartment for any longer. We should give it time to air out, especially after what we just did." Suga had a bit of a smirk on his face as he put his head down on Kuroo's shoulder, tucking in close to him. "But if you really would rather stay home, that's not a big deal. We really don't have to go out."

Sighing, Kuroo brought a hand to Suga's back and the other hand went to the bridge of his nose. "I guess it would be a good distraction, especially if Akaashi doesn't get back to you about letting me come see Bo." That was the agreeable Kuroo that Suga know was inside him. It was coming out, and Kuroo was slowly coming back to himself. The draw of alcohol hopefully becoming less and less, and Suga was hopefully helping him realize that he didn't need the alcohol to survive.

After they laid there for another few moments, Suga slowly shifted to sit up and he looked down to Kuroo, gasping a bit. "Wow, babe, I'm sorry. I guess I didn't realize how rough I was being..." Suga said, holding back a bit of a giggle. He pointed down to the lines that were going to form into scratches here soon, and then there were some suction marks from Suga's mouth, that were forming into hickeys.

Looking down at himself, Kuroo had actually smiled at the marks and the comments Suga had made. It didn't seem to bother him the way Suga thought it might, but it was really a relief that it didn't bother him so much. "I'll wear the marks with pride. So hey, don't fret about them," Kuroo said as he also sat up. "But we should probably get cleaned up. We could shower, or just wash up. Either way," Kuroo said.

Comments like that made Suga feel like he was in an actual relationship. It made Suga feel like he was part of something, like he was included in something that mattered. But only time would tell if Kuroo wanted to continue this. Suga was hoping that Kuroo wouldn't want to end this, but it was still Kuroo's call. "I'm going to go shower, because of the mess and mark you've left on me," Suga said as he hopped out of bed. "You're free to join me, though," Suga said with a bit of a grin before he walked off to the bathroom.

There was nothing exciting that happened. Kuroo didn't end up joining Suga in the shower, and he came back to get changed back into the clothes on the ground, seeing that Kuroo looked fresh and he was just glumly sitting on the bed, looking down at his phone. "Bo was such an idiot, wasn't he?" Kuroo had asked. It was a rhetorical question, but it was the truth. It wasn't that Bokuto couldn't be smart, and he really was intelligent when it came to some particular things, but Kuroo wasn't wrong that Bokuto could really be rather dumb at times.

Taking a seat, Suga tried to look to see what Kuroo was looking at. It seemed to be a picture of Bokuto and Kuroo, just posing like idiots. They were a very attractive pair of friends, Suga had noted, and the picture made Suga smile. "But he is your idiot, yeah? He might be an idiot, but you two were equally as dumb some of the times. I remember the time that the two of you went and scaled the side of that billboard, then couldn't get down afterwards."

At the very least, Suga bringing up that memory had brought a laugh out of Kuroo's lips. Apparently that was a good memory for Kuroo. As Kuroo nodded, he put his phone down and looked at Suga. "We were equally as dumb sometimes, yeah. I guess you could really say that. I wouldn't change a single thing, thought. We were equally as dumb for a good reason. It was just who we were and we didn't care at the time. I can't see my life without him in it... I just hope they are successful in waking him up today," Kuroo said as he moved to stand up. "Do you want to let your hair dry more? Or are we good to go out?" Suga was asked.

Realizing there was a towel around his head still, Suga shook it off and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm good, really. We can get going, just so we can see what's out there to do," Suga said softly as he stood as well, tossing the towel onto the ground by the bed. "You are okay with going out still, right?" Suga asked in a curious manner.

It seemed as though Kuroo was rather annoyed with all of the questioning. "Yes, my god, Suga. I am okay with going out to go do something." Hearing Kuroo say that had shut Suga up and he decided to stay quiet as they ventured out into the city. At the very least, it seemed to have stopped raining, but it still felt muggy outside and it was likely to continue to rain in a little while.

Once Suga had reached his car, Kuroo had been standing out on the sidewalk, looking out onto the street. "Come back to me, Bokuto... Please..." Suga heard Kuroo say, and it was such an honest, painful plea to the heavens. It hurt Suga a little to hear such things, but Suga knew that it was meant to be private for Kuroo, so he wasn't going to say anything. He would just wait for Kuroo to have his moment.

As Suga had gotten into the car, Kuroo had turned around and he had come to join Suga in the passenger seat. Their trip out to the city was quiet, even with the music that Suga had been playing. They didn't talk, as Kuroo had said something hurtful and Suga didn't realize how much it was bothering him. 

It dawned on the two of them that they still needed to eat, so they went to eat at a little cafe, but it wasn't as enjoyable as it could have been, as Kuroo complained the entire time about the food choices and the way the cafe was set up. Kuroo had also been irritated about going to see anything at all after they finished eating and they went to go choose their activity, so they eventually just settled on a volleyball match and the pair had kind of sat apart. Even when Suga tried to move closer, Kuroo would pull away and he would give Suga a look or a groan that made it feel like Suga was doing something wrong. These were not the signals that Suga had wanted to get from Kuroo.

When the team they had been rooting for had scored a point, both of the boys had jumped up and cheered. Their arms brushed together and when Suga had taken Kuroo's hand. Suga didn't have it for long, though, as Kuroo had pulled away from Suga and moved a little further away from him. This was not exactly the most encouraging thing for Suga to go through, so he stopped trying to be close to Kuroo the rest of the game. He had just thought that Kuroo could want this. Couldn't he want this?

Finally, the game had finished. They had gone into their third set before the team the pair was rooting for had won. It was an exciting thing and Suga was pleased about it, but Kuroo didn't seem all that pleased. "Can we go home?" Kuroo asked in an irritated voice, and Suga froze. "I just don't want to be around all of these people right now, when they could assume things about us that aren't even going to be real very soon."

That comment had gotten Suga very confused, and he really wasn't willing to start a fight in the middle of the gymnasium. "Sure, we can go. I wanted to see if we could talk to the team and you know, compare how we used to play? But fine, we can go home instead," Suga said in his own annoyed voice. His heart was crying out to him, telling him that he should have more compassion for Kuroo at the moment. But his emotions weren't going to just sit inside of him quietly. Kuroo had just aggravated the shit out of him, so it was probably best if they went back to his apartment.

Gritting his teeth and trying his best to ignore the headache that was forming, he decided that this was going to be a big blow out fight already. As he started to think about it, he realized that maybe Kuroo really wasn't the one. It was a good thing that Suga was driving, too, because he didn't think he could just sit there and not focus on something. At least now he was driving.

Once the pair had gotten back to Kuroo's apartment, Suga had stormed onto the front porch and he had to wait for Kuroo to unlock the door before he pulled the door open and walk inside. The moment that Suga had gotten inside the apartment, he turned around to face Kuroo.

It seemed like Kuroo didn't know what was wrong, it also seemed like Kuroo wasn't exactly up for whatever this conversation was going to be, because he yawned and stretched his body out. "Thanks for that day, Suga. I liked getting out of-"

"Are you sure you actually enjoyed leaving the apartment? Or was it just a drag the entire time and something that you don't want to do again? And what was with you trying to pull away from everything I wanted to do with you? I tried to sit close, I reached to rub at your arm, and you pulled your hand away when I held it." The tone to Suga's voice was absolutely seething at the moment, and there was no way that the boy was going to let up on any of this, not any time soon. Kuroo had absolutely frustrated the shit out of him right then.

It seemed like Kuroo wasn't anticipating any of this at all, so when Suga had said all of that, his face had screwed into one of confusion. "Why did you have to try to do all of that? You knew I didn't really want to be out there, Suga. Obviously you know how I feel about people assuming we are in a relationship, so why did you bother even trying any of that with me?" Kuroo had asked, as if it was actually a mystery.

There was steam coming out of Suga's ears. If he had been a cartoon character, his face would have blown up by now. It was beyond frustrating that Kuroo hadn't wanted to try to be like this in the public eye. Letting out a grunt and an exclamation, Suga threw his hands in the air and he stormed back into Kuroo's bedroom.

When Kuroo had finally followed about three minutes later, he came back to see Suga pulling the clothes on that he had come in. It was still dirty clothing, and it really needed to be washed again. But Suga was still pulling it back on. "What are you doing?" Kuroo asked as he crossed his arms, leaning against the door frame as he tried to figure out why Suga was trying to pull on his own clothes when Kuroo had plenty that Suga could borrow.

It didn't seem like Suga was going to look up, but he eventually did when he was putting his shoes back on. "If you don't want to try, if you don't want me around anymore, you won't have to worry about it. It seems like everything I try, everything I want to make us closer, you try to pull away from me and stay away. I don't know what I can do to bring you back to me, and I don't know what I have to do to prove to you that I want this, and I want to be a couple, even in the public's eye, but I don't think I can take it anymore. I thought that... that if I sobered you up and put you back together, you'd start to see me. I thought that I could get you to see who I was and that I actually care about you, that I want to be with you. But I don't know that you can see that, and I don't know if you want to see this. So... It's time to go."

Suga had put his wallet and phone back into his own pockets before he grabbed his keys again. Stopping as he stepped out into the hall, there was a moment that he had stood there and debated. It really seemed to be troubling Suga, and Kuroo stood up, watching Suga. There were emotions running through Kuroo, all different breeds of emotions, and he wasn't sure what he wanted to do next. "Suga, I'm sorry..." Kuroo murmured as he stepped closer.

That wasn't what Suga had wanted to hear, though. Sure, it was nice to hear, but he didn't know that he was able to handle being there anymore. Maybe he was just too ambitious to think that he could handle this project on his own and it would make Kuroo fall in love with him. Maybe it would make Kuroo realize what he was throwing away if he left. But even then, Suga wasn't too sure that he would want to come back to this. It was just far too big of a project, so it was proof that Kuroo really did need Bokuto in order to sober up at all.

As Suga let out a sigh, he turned right when Kuroo was about to brush his shoulder. "So the lock code to the safe on the fridge is Bokuto's birthday. I'm going to go back home..." Suga said. He didn't spare a glance back to Kuroo, nor did he want to hear anything else that Kuroo had to say. He just had to get out of there and he wasn't willing to stick around anymore. He wasn't willing to put himself through this torture anymore.

That was when the door closed. That was when Suga had actually walked out the door, and Kuroo had fucked everything up. He had a boy that wanted him. He was getting better, and he was throwing his life away at the same time. What was the point? Wasn't he just going to fuck it all up again anyway?

As Kuroo stood in the kitchen, he let out a snort and he didn't realize the tears were falling as he reached up to the lock box on top of the fridge. Really, Kuroo had just wanted to get his things back, like his knives and he had just wanted to erase that Suga had even been here at all. There was no point to keeping the box when it would just bring the memory of Suga back. He wanted to forget that they had even tried. As he typed in 0920, the box had clicked to signal that it was unlocked. "Good, now I can get rid of..."

When he opened the top and he saw something in the box that he wasn't anticipating and he forgot that it was the entire reason that Suga had even bought the dumb box, he felt air start to fill his lungs and his insides were screaming at him. It was the bottle of alcohol, the bottle of scotch that Suga had hidden away from him. His thoughts were running wild and he pulled the bottle out, setting the safe on the counter.

This wasn't going to turn out well, but Kuroo couldn't help it. The cap was off, and Kuroo sniffed the rim and the smell has been smooth and it was calling out to him. One sip, and it was all over.

That was exactly what Kuroo did.


	8. Chapter 8

_So this will be my last effort to try to get you help. If you want me to, I'll get down on my knees and beg you to help yourself and let us help you. I won't leave until you agree to letting us give you an intervention. If I had to live without you, I don't think I could survive. I know that can't be what you want, bro. I know you don't want to live without me, so I can't imagine you'd want me to live without you. Promise me that you don't want that, okay? Promise me that I'll never have to live without you..._

\---

This wasn't what Akaashi had wanted. Hell, if he could have waited for Bokuto to get out of the hospital, he would have done this then instead. But the thing was, he didn't want to put his boy through any more pain than he had to. He didn't want to see a moping Bokuto, one that was sad because his best friend wasn't there. Sure, he was sleeping right now and hardly wanted to see anyone other than Keiji, but at the very least, he was out of the coma. He was awake and he hardly noticed his surroundings, meaning he hardly noticed that many people weren’t there, because Akaashi couldn’t handle having many people around at a time like this. They did do a few memory tests, though, so everything seemed to be in check there. After they checked his memory, though, Bokuto was exhausted and asked to take a nap and said he would see everyone after he woke up.

So as a surprise, Akaashi wanted to invite Kuroo to get to see all of the progress he had made. Unfortunately, Kuroo wasn’t answering his texts, so he would have to go pound on his door and drag him there. When asking Tsukishima to keep an eye on Bokuto, the boy agreed, just so Akaashi could get out of the hospital room and fetch Kuroo for himself. It would be great to get to see the smile on his lover's face again, after all this time. Sure, he had heard of patients being in a coma for weeks, months, even years before they were awake again, but going through just those few days, those five days of torture, had been more than enough. He was just glad to be able to say that Bokuto was still his lover, because he was still alive.

As he approached Kuroo's apartment, he made a bit of a face to see that Suga's car was gone. That was interesting. Wasn't Suga over here to help Kuroo, to sober him up? They couldn't possibly be out, as Akaashi had seen a light that was on in the living room. Kuroo and Suga wouldn't just up and leave without turning the lights off, would they? He doubted it.

Pushing himself out of his car, Akaashi approached the apartment and he knocked on the door, awaiting for an answer. It took a few moments, probably a minute, but Akaashi decided to try again and knock louder. "Kuroo? It's Keiji," he yelled. Maybe the boy was in the bathroom? Maybe he had headphones in? So he decided to pull out his phone and he composed a text to Kuroo, saying he was outside. Maybe he would answer Akaashi then. He couldn’t possibly still be mad, right?

When the text didn't get an answer and Akaashi had frowned, he knocked again. He was ready to just leave and tell Bokuto that he couldn’t get ahold of Kuroo, but he wanted to surprise Bokuto and he didn’t need to worry him with these kinds of things. He wanted his lover to be happy with knowing that his best friend was there to support him. Granted, he would have to come clean to Bokuto to tell him what had happened and why Kuroo wasn't there the entire time, just because he didn't want Bo to hear it from Kuroo first. But he still wanted to give this to his lover, even if it really wasn't okay with Kuroo right then.

Where was Kuroo, though? Why wasn't he answering the door? Didn't Kuroo have to be there? Knocking a little harder and louder, Akaashi was starting to get a little reckless outside of the door. At the very least, it wasn't cold. Sure, it might have been raining, but it wasn't cold. It was humid, though. Akaashi wanted to get inside. At least Kuroo had a porch with an overhang, so he wasn't getting soaked. "Tetsurou, come on man. I want to talk," Akaashi called out as he decided to try to look through the window. It was very difficult, as the shades were down, but he could still just barely see through the cracks.

What he saw as he looked through the shades, though, was a very confusing sight to see. There was a bottle laying on the ground, and it looked mostly emptied. But there were also liquids on the ground next to it, telling Akaashi that the bottle had been spilled. As he looked a little closer, he could see that the bottle was from a rather high-end alcohol company. It set Akaashi on edge, and he started to try to open the door. It was locked, but that wasn't going to stop Akaashi from getting inside.

He knew very well that Kuroo wasn't supposed to touch alcohol. He couldn't even have it to cook with in his apartment, just because it was that dangerous to the tall raven. If Suga was helping, he was doing a very poor job of keeping him sober. Where was Suga when all of this was happening? That thought had sent Akaashi on edge even further as he fumbled through Bokuto's keys to find the one that belonged to Kuroo's apartment. He remembered distinctly when Bokuto conned Kuroo into getting a spare key made for Bo, and it was exactly for something like this, in case Kuroo had gotten into trouble somehow. None of them had wanted Kuroo to be in any trouble, but things happen.

As Akaashi held onto the doorknob and he pushed the key into the lock, he thrust the door open when he managed to unlock it and he looked around, until he saw what, or who, he was looking for. It caused Akaashi to freeze for a few seconds to see the state that Kuroo was in, but he reacted quickly for his phone as he realized what it was that had happened.

Once he pulled his phone out, he started to dial an emergency line and he pressed it to his ear as he rushed over to Kuroo, who was laying on the floor, very clearly passed out. It was lucky that Kuroo wasn't choking yet, because the boy had released bodily fluids all over the floor. It smelled and Akaashi crinkled his nose. But he still came over to Kuroo as the phone was getting connected to someone so he could get Kuroo some help. "Kuroo? Kuroo, come on," Akaashi said as he shook Kuroo a bit, feeling his wrist for a pulse afterwards. He then tried to pinch Kuroo’s skin, just doing anything he could to try to get Kuroo to wake up.

When the line picked up, and when the dispatcher had asked Akaashi for his location, he rolled the location off his tongue and gave his name quickly before he was asked what the problem was. "Y-yes. My friend, he... I think he has alcohol poisoning. He's passed out, he's vomited on himself, and he's not responsive to me calling his name or shaking and pinching him. His skin feels cold... Please... send help," Akaashi said very quickly and he started to roll Kuroo onto his side. He remembered watching the intervention videos with Bokuto, the first time Kuroo had been an alcoholic. He watched ones that were very informative, and they instructed to put the person who had overdosed onto their side in a very specific way.

Shaking, Akaashi was trying to listen to the person on the line and roll him onto his side at the same time. Pulling Kuroo's arm straight above his head and then lifting his opposite knee to be bent and standing up, he shook his head when he had to think if there was more to do. "Y-yeah, I'm doing it right now. I just got here..." Akaashi said. They had asked if he had gotten Kuroo onto his side to prevent choking, which was exactly what Keiji was trying to do. "Hold on..." Akaashi said as he set the phone down away from the vomit that he was now kneeling in, and he put his hand under Kuroo's shoulder and then his lower back. That was when he pulled Kuroo towards him, watching his head to make sure it didn't hit the floor. Very quickly, Akaashi had adjusted his head to lay on the outstretched arm and he bent the other arm to rest close to his cheek, in the case that the head had rolled forward.

Once Akaashi had picked up the phone again, he stayed on his knees by Kuroo and he couldn't get the panic out of his mind. The damn boy was going to kill himself, and that would make Bokuto bring Kuroo back to life and then kill him again for doing this to himself. "Yeah... I managed... O-oh good, thank you. I can stay on the line with you... O-or do you mind? I’m just scared…"

Watching Kuroo, who was just passed out and slowly breathing at this rate, Akaashi could feel the tears come to his eyes. It made him feel so bad for the way he had treated Kuroo while Bokuto was in the hospital. "Yeah, he... It was scotch he drank I think... it was most of the bottle and... only a little was spilled on the floor..." Akaashi said to her question about what he had drank.

It was lucky that Kuroo's apartment was so very close to everything important. In the next moment, Akaashi could hear sirens in the background and he was thankful that he didn't live in the middle of nowhere right now. "I-I think they're... yeah, they're pulling up to the apartment. Thank you," Akaashi said as they disconnected the call.

“Coming in,” the EMT called out and a man had run into the room, looking back to someone outside. “Yeah, bring that in. We’re going to need it.”

The EMTs had gotten Kuroo gently onto a gurney and they carried him out to the ambulance. Once they started to drive, Akaashi had followed in his car once he locked up Kuroo's apartment. It was on tragedy after the other with Akaashi, and even though he started to think that maybe he was partially responsible for Kuroo's tragedy, it was still a miserable thing to think that a tragedy had to happen in the first place.

After the twenty minutes it took to get to the hospital with traffic, Akaashi found the ambulance that had been unloading Kuroo, and as much as he wanted to just run and cry to Bokuto, he owed it to both Kuroo and Bokuto to stay with Kuroo until he knew he was stable and not going to die. "I s-swear to anything that's holy... I-if you die today, of all-ll the days..." Akaashi said as he watched the emergency room workers start to swarm around Kuroo. It really was such a sight to see, but Akaashi was watching to make sure that Kuroo didn’t end up dead somehow.

It took a little while, but once they figured that Kuroo was stable, they informed Akaashi and told him that they were going to have questions. "Okay, yeah... I just have to go visit my boyfriend. He's uh... also in the hospital, and they just woke him from the coma today..." Akaashi said and he ran a hand over his face afterward, to rid himself of the stress of all of this. The nurse had nodded and she asked for his boyfriend's name and room number so they could find him when they needed him. Finally, though, Akaashi was excused to go see Bokuto. Oh lord, he hoped that Bokuto was awake and he could cry to him about all of this. He knew the boy had to be stressed enough about everything right now, but he would want to know this.

Luckily enough, it seemed that Tsukishima was just walking out of the room and he was laughing a bit. As he caught his eyes on the approaching Keiji, though, his expression changed to one of worry and concern. "Were you... able to get to him? Where is Kuroo? Bo is awake and they are asking him what kind of broth he wants, since they aren't sure about solid foods yet... But he'll want to see Ku-"

Akaashi couldn't hold back the sob that he had let out, and it had cut Tsukishima's sentence off before he could finish it. The sob ripped through Akaashi like a wolverine would rip through an animal, and it hurt his chest, so he pressed his hand to his chest and he let himself cry. Kei wrapped his arms tightly around Akaashi, and the boys stood there for a few moments. "When I went... to get him, Kuroo... He..."

It caused Tsukki to tense up a bit, so he wasn't sure he wanted to know this information. "He's alive, right? He didn't do something stupid to get himself killed... Please tell me that..." Tsukishima had said very quietly. When Akaashi didn't answer, it worried Tsukishima even more, to the point that he had started to shake a little.

Clearing his throat and shaking his head, Akaashi finally had the strength to answer. "N-no, he's not dead... But he... he drank enough to make himself pass out... I had to call an ambulance..." Akaashi had said with another sob and Tsukki had pulled him even closer, but a sigh of relief had left his body.

Akaashi knew that Tsukki understood, probably even more than he understood, because Kuroo and Tsukki seemed to be very close during Kuroo's sober years. They were so close that Akaashi and Yamaguchi had nights together where Tadashi would rant about Kuroo having Tsukishima over, but not inviting Tadashi over at the same time. He was a bit paranoid that Tsukishima's feelings for Kuroo would resurface, as they both knew that Tsukki did have a thing for Kuroo at once point, and that Tadashi would end up alone. But Akaashi had to just remind Tadashi that it was just how Kuroo was with all of his close friends. Bokuto and Kuroo had such a strong bromance going too, so Akaashi completely understood where Yamaguchi was coming from. He’d even caught them making out before, but it was apparently only to show Kuroo how Akaashi had kissed him. Akaashi talked with Bo that night and asked him not to do that again, but he would only care if Kuroo hurt him while kissing him.

But all of that meant that Tsukishima would have stronger feelings for Kuroo fucking up and getting himself in the hospital. "Jesus, that man..." Tsukki whispered, shaking his head. Akaashi could feel Tsukki starting to tremble a bit. Or maybe it was just that Akaashi was trembling himself. Either way, the two boys needed each other for total and complete support. They weren't likely to let go for another few moments.

The thing that did make the two boys let go, though, was a nurse coming out of Bokuto's room and Bokuto calling for Tsukishima to come back into the room. When Tsukki looked back, he sighed, but Akaashi shook his head. "I'll go. I... kind of need him right now anyway. He's going to throw a fit when he hears about Kuroo, but he will likely throw more of a fit when he knows that I caused it all. So... It's something I need to do alone. I don't want you caught in the blast..." Akaashi said as he winced, just thinking about the wrath of Bokuto when he found out about what Akaashi had done.

Sighing a bit, Tsukki knew that it wasn't his place to argue, so he just decided to back off and let Akaashi do his own thing. "I'll be in the cafeteria with Yamaguchi if you need me. I know he won't want to stay, but... It's Kuroo... I think I have to stay now…" Tsukki said with a frown. Akaashi was about to let him go, but his eyes narrowed a bit.

"Tsukki... I know you want to stay because you're worried about Kuroo, but... I can text you and give you updates. Don't make Yamaguchi stay any longer. He looked exhausted when you two got here, I can’t imagine how tired he must be now..." Akaashi said with a bit of a frown himself. It was really just the fact that he was looking out for Yamaguchi's emotions, and Akaashi knew that Yams had spoken to Tsukki about this stuff before. But Tsukki always brushed it off to being a strong friendship and that Yamaguchi should know better and not doubt Tsukki.

Letting out a sigh, Tsukki looked towards the hall for the hospital and he turned back to Akaashi. "I guess I really should take better care of my boy, huh?" Tsukki asked with a bit of a cringe. Akaashi nodded in agreement, and the two boys parted ways.

Now it was time for the task of explaining things to his boyfriend. This was going to be a very difficult situation and conversation, Akaashi could feel it. Bokuto wasn't likely to understand where he was coming from. Either way though, Akaashi had to tell him about everything. As he took a breath, Akaashi stared towards the hospital room and he opened the door slowly after knocking, looking over to Bokuto, who had been staring up at the ceiling, doing god only knows what as he pointed up at the ceiling tiles. Akaashi cleared his throat a bit and he watched as Koutarou's eyes snapped back to the door. "Babe!" his boyfriend cheered, and his expression changed to a very bright and cheerful one. "I missed you!" he said with outstretched arms that were pointed towards Akaashi.

That was one thing that Akaashi understood very clearly, and he was not going to deny his boyfriend of a hug, even though the doctors had warned him to be gentle at first. As he stepped closer to the bed and he took a seat on the edge, Akaashi leaned gently into the hug. It was going to be hard to keep himself together as he hugged his boyfriend.

It wasn't until Bokuto started to caress his hair and play with the ends while still hugging Akaashi that the boy lost it and he started to cry. It surprised Bokuto a bit, but he hugged Akaashi a little bit tighter. "Babe... what's wrong?" Bokuto asked in a soft voice. Akaashi really wasn't supposed to be clinging onto Bokuto like this, but he really just couldn't help himself at the moment. It had been such a hard five days. He was grateful that it hadn't been longer than that, but it was still a very long, very tiring five days.

Sniffling, Akaashi shook his head against Bokuto's broad chest, one that had been wired up only this morning to keep track of his heart beat. It might have also the fact that Bokuto wasn't as strong as he had been before the accident. Or at least, the accident had wiped out his strength and the hospital had exhausted him. He was sure that strength would come back, but he still wasn't supposed to be pushing himself. "I-it's... Babe, you're not g-going to like this..." Akaashi said in a whimper.

There was a very confused and frozen still aura to Bokuto right at that moment. Maybe it was just Bokuto trying to think of something to say, though. Maybe he didn’t want to hear what he wasn’t going to like. "I like the fact that you're upset even less than whatever it is you have to tell me..." Hearing things like that come from Bokuto, it caused very quick and vicious flips to happen to Akaashi's heart and stomach. His emotions would always play tricks on him whenever Bokuto had said something to that effect. It actually calmed him down a bit, to know that Bokuto was there to support him, and he took a breath as he slowly pulled back from his boyfriend. "Okay, s-so... Kuroo is in the hospital too, he just got here, but uh... you're not going to like why he's in the hospital though..." Akaashi said as he turned his eyes down to look at the floor beneath his hanging feet.

Letting out a very dry, very short laugh, Bokuto had shook his head slowly. "You know what? As long as he's not in the hospital because of something like alcohol poisoning, I can handle whatever it is that he's in the hospital for," Bokuto said as he looked at Akaashi again. When Akaashi didn't look up and when he tensed up, making a distressed face, Bokuto's smile faded and his breathing became a little heavier. If Kuroo wasn't here because of something alcohol related, wouldn't Keiji instantly want to reassure the boy? This was not what Bokuto had wanted to hear. "Is he here because of something to do with alcohol...?" Bokuto asked, his mouth still open in anticipation.

What was the point in trying to beat around the bush here? Akaashi knew that he would have to tell Bokuto the truth sooner or later. Sooner would definitely be better. "Y-yeah... He's here because of alcohol poisoning..." Akaashi said, and it was really rather difficult for him to even say such a thing. His lip started to quiver again, and it was so damned hard for Akaashi to look at Bokuto at a time like this, but he had to. He owed it to Bokuto to give him support.

It seemed like all of the negative emotions on the planet were flashing their way through Bokuto's face. There was absolutely nothing happy about this situation, and each and every negative emotion wanted it’s time to shine. Eventually, it seemed as though something between denial and depression had settled on Bokuto's face. "I-if that's supposed to be a joke, babe, it's really not funny... You know how I feel about Kuroo being anywhere near alcohol..." Bokuto said, looking back at Akaashi and hoping to God that Akaashi was trying to play a prank on him.

But that was the thing. Akaashi was being one hundred percent serious, and it was miserable to try to talk about this with his lover. "K-Kou... It's not a joke... Wh-when you wanted to take a nap, I asked Tsukki to watch you, so that’s why I w-wasn’t here… and I w-went to go get Kuroo, s-so he could surprise you... He's been so worried about you, but... but there's something else I have to tell you..."

Shaking seemed to be happening without ceasing, and Bokuto closed his eyes, frowning so very deeply. This had to be probably the worst news that Keiji could have given to his boyfriend. "So on the very first night of your accident... Wh-when everyone was here and when we had uh... well, we were just sitting around, worried about you... Kuroo kind of lost it. He was the v-very first person I called because I kn-know how close you are, and... and he was the first one to get here. I had called others after Kuroo, but they staggered in after, and... Apparently Kuroo didn't like that..." This story was going to be more than difficult for Kuroo to get through. He still blamed himself for what had happened. If he had just let Kuroo stay, if he had just had the hospital clean him up, maybe this wouldn't have happened.

"I guess he was just... so upset about your accident, you know? It upset him e-enough that he... well, he went out and got drunk. Then he came back and... he wanted to see you, but none of us were allowed to see you… I wasn’t even allowed to see you, and..." Akaashi had to cover his mouth and he let out another sob, tears starting to fall down his cheeks and the tears were rolling freely now. "He b-barged into your room and he... got himself in trouble. After that though... Fuck, Bo... I'm so sorry..."

It must have been hearing Akaashi struggling to speak so much and the way his breathing was labored that caused Bokuto to reach for Akaashi and pull the boy against his chest. Akaashi sobbed and he let it all out. It was nearly two minutes before Akaashi could continue his story. "A-after he barged in the way he did, a-all drunk, I told him... I told him that I didn't want him to see you, b-because I was worried that he would so something to hurt you... So I h-had people standing guard for a while and it's good that I did, because... K-Kuroo tried to get back into see you, but he was drunk again..."

Akaashi was still leaned against Bokuto's chest, crying his eyes out and hoping to everything that was out there that Bokuto could forgive him for this. When Bokuto didn't let go of Akaashi and he continued to rub the boy's back, Akaashi was hopeful that Bokuto didn't put a lot of blame on him. He was still worried that there would be some blame placed on him, but he completely and totally deserved to be blamed for the way he treated Bokuto's best friend in the entire world. "Such a damn idiot, that one..." Bokuto mumbled as he kept his arms around Akaashi.

Slowly pulling away, Akaashi wiped at his eyes, until Bokuto reached a hand up and brushed away the tears that were dampening Akaashi's cheek still. "A-are you mad at me...?" Akaashi asked, just curious to know if Bokuto really did place any blame on him.

That question seemed to throw Bokuto off more than anything. "Mad at you? How could I be? It's not _your_ fault he touched the stuff. Unless you tell me that you handed him the first drink." There was an air of certainty to Bokuto when he had said that, but Akaashi still wasn't positive that his boyfriend was completely comprehending what Akaashi had done.

"Now could you have done this differently and prevented this current alcohol poisoning? Probably. But I can't blame you for trying to protect me. I would have done the same for you, because I wouldn't want a drunk, aggressive Kuroo around you if you had been in some kind of accident. He could have hurt me, so you did the right thing by keeping him out," Bokuto said. He had crossed his arms across his rib cage and he huffed out a breath of air as he shook his head. "I hope he makes it through this, if only so I can kill him myself."

When Bokuto said that, Akaashi couldn't help himself by letting out a small, genuine laugh. That was the Bokuto he knew and loved to pieces. It was the Bokuto that had been playing the best friend card against Kuroo that had Akaashi laughing. Sure, Akaashi wouldn't forgive himself for a little while and he would have to apologize to Kuroo in person when he was awake again, but at the very least, Bokuto didn't blame him, and he was still finding ways to make Akaashi smile about the whole thing.

Akaashi heard a knock on the door, Bokuto said they could come in and the door opened to reveal a nurse with a tray. It had Bokuto's medicines, which were all in liquid form, and Bokuto turned up his nose as the tray of food was brought closer. "Alright, so here's your dinner, Koutarou. Pizza like you ordered, and a bowl of broth. You have your meds here too, but I am going to ask you to not take them until after you've at least finished your broth here."

"What is that?" Bokuto asked, pointing towards the tray and to the pizza. As Akaashi looked at it a little more closely, he could see what Bokuto was turning his nose up about.

"It's pizza, like you asked for," the nurse said in a very confused voice. But that was when she let out a sigh and she looked to Akaashi, who was rubbing at Bokuto's arm at the moment. "We mentioned to you that we don't particularly trust you with solid foods yet, right? Well, this is our fix for that. We've ground up the pizza for you just to make it easier to swallow. The taste is nearly the same, but just not chewy or difficult to swallow."

There was no way that Akaashi could stifle the laugh that was inside him right now. This was beyond priceless, and Bokuto pouted, pushing the tray gently away from him. "Ma'am, could we have some yogurt and applesauce instead? I know he'll eat those," Akaashi said as he continued to rub at Bokuto's arm gently. This was such a cute and funny moment to witness. Akaashi knew that this probably wasn't funny to Bokuto, but it was still a very priceless moment.

Once the nurse nodded and took the plate of pizza mush away, Bokuto whined when he turned his head towards Akaashi. "That was not pizza..." Bokuto said in his whine, shaking his head and feeling Akaashi's fingers in his hair after a few moments. "They wanted me to eat that mush! It wasn't pizza. Ugh, it looked nasty..."

Feeling his heart start to fill up further, Akaashi rubbed Bokuto's cheek and smiled very softly. "You'll just have to deal with yogurt and applesauce for now, babe. What did you think they were going to do when you asked for pizza? They did say that they weren't sure about solid foods..." This was more like the Bokuto he knew. Maybe the nap really did help the boy.

Groaning again, Bokuto leaned his head against Akaashi as he mumbled incoherently. "I love you," Akaashi said. In the next moment, Bokuto was kissing Akaashi. The two boys hadn't noticed when the nurse had come in and left, but there was strawberry and vanilla yogurt, and applesauce on the tray when they pulled back from their kiss. "Let's get you fed and medicated so we can ask the nurse about visiting Kuroo, yeah?" Akaashi suggested. The sparkle in Bokuto's eyes was more than enough for Akaashi to know that visiting Kuroo was all that Bokuto wanted right now.

\---

It was all fuzzy. The room was very bright and it was hard to open his eyes, but Kuroo eventually did and he looked around to see what was in his surroundings right now. There was someone standing next to Kuroo right then, and it caused him to flinch a bit. He didn't recognize the person, and he wanted to know where he was laying down that would produce a stranger as such to be standing next to him.

"You're awake. Very good. Your oxygen levels are looking good, so we're going to take that tube out of your mouth now, okay?" The man had said. It was right then that Kuroo had tried to speak, but realized that he couldn't form words or speak because there was something in his mouth. He let out a sound of distress, but it wasn't the 'what the fuck' that he wanted to use. Right then was when Kuroo realized that he had to be in the hospital. It also had to be early morning, because the sun was blinding him through his east facing window.

It didn't take long, but the tube was finally out of Kuroo's mouth and he rasped out the word "water," just to indicate that he needed something to drink. The man had handed him a cup of water, which Kuroo took very thankfully, and he had drank the entire thing.

"Just hit your call button there if you need anything. We'll be back shortly, but I hear there's someone that wants to visit you. Are you okay with a visitor?" the nurse had asked, getting Kuroo to raise an eyebrow. Who knew he was here?

Shrugging, Kuroo really didn't care if anyone came to visit him. "I guess, yeah. I just don't know who could want to visit me, that's all. I don’t even know who knows that I’m here. Can... you tell me who brought me here in the first place?" Kuroo asked, rather confused about the whole thing. His neighbors wouldn't have noticed he was passed out on the floor, and Suga wouldn't have come back for any reason. He fucked that entire thing up completely, so who was it that brought Kuroo to the hospital?

Taking a moment, the nurse shrugged his shoulders as he looked at Kuroo's chart. "It was someone that knew you, I know that much. I can't tell you who it was, though. I don't have that information. I can ask someone that was around last night if they know who brought you in, though," the nurse had said as he put the clipboard back on the end of Tetsurou's bed. "I'll go let the visitor know that you're okay with a visitor, okay?" the nurse said as he smiled and left the room.

It was such a perplexing thing for Kuroo to think about. Who could have brought him to the hospital? He was ready to die and he was ready to just take all of the agony he caused with him. The thought ran through his head for another ten minutes, until there was a knock at his door. "Come in," Kuroo called out, sighing as he threw his head back against the bed that he had eventually put into a sitting position.

When the door opened, the raven didn't even bother looking down to see who was walking in. Whoever it was probably cared about him, but Kuroo just couldn't bring himself to care about whoever came to visit. He was far too frustrated at the moment to care about whoever was- "What the actual _fuck_ , bro? You trying to kill yourself or something?"

That voice. It wasn't exactly the same, nor was it exactly what he remembered it to be, but it was a voice that rang through his ears and caused his heart to jump. Was it _Bokuto_? Hadn't Suga told him that they were waking Bokuto up soon? Kuroo hadn't brought his eyes down just yet, but he had snapped them down when he felt a harsh, banging sensation against his arm, and it didn't happen only once. It happened probably four times before another voice sounded through the room. "Okay, okay babe. I'm sure he gets it," said a voice that Kuroo had recognized as being connected to Akaashi. That was someone that Kuroo wasn't too very fond of at the moment, but he supposed that Akaashi would have to be here, especially since Bokuto was here to visit Kuroo.

"He doesn't get how fucking pissed I am though. He'll never understand how pissed I am," Bokuto had said as he started to bang on Kuroo's arm again, and Kuroo didn't stop him. He let Bokuto keep going until the banging actually started to hurt, and Kuroo cringed away a bit.

It was only for a moment that Kuroo cringed away, though. The next moment, he was reaching down to touch Bokuto's face, his shoulder, and finally, he leaned down enough to wrap his arms around Bokuto and give him as strong of a hug as he could manage. "O-oh my god... B-Bo! You're here!" Kuroo wailed out, and the happy tears had started to form and fall in his eyes.

Shushing noises were coming from Bokuto as he held onto Kuroo. "I'm here, bro, I'm here... I'm alive. I know, you've been worried about me... but that doesn't excuse what you did, you know. Going back to alcohol after two full years of being sober? Kuroo! That has to be the stupidest thing you could have done! I know you're smarter than that!"

Feeling the guilt running through him, Kuroo slowly pulled away and he had settled back against the bed. "Oh... So you know about that, huh?" Kuroo asked sheepishly, but he couldn't get himself to smile awkwardly. He really did feel bad for disappointing Bokuto like this, and Suga was right about that bit. Anyone else, he wouldn't have felt as guilty. But he did feel bad for letting Bokuto down the way that he had.

Sighing, Bokuto rolled his eyes. "Of course I do. Akaashi told me all about it, and he felt super guilty for it too, especially when he went to go get you to come visit here and he found you passed out on your floor. I hope you didn't think I wouldn't find out about it," Bokuto said as he reached up to Akaashi's hands, which were still on the handles of the wheelchair. He pulled one of Akaashi's hands to rest on his shoulder, and he gave it a squeeze, which Akaashi returned on Bokuto's shoulder.

This really wasn't going the way that Kuroo had wanted it to go, but at least Bokuto was alive. Wasn't that all that mattered? It didn't stop Kuroo from feeling guilty, though. It had to be one of the worst feelings in the world at the moment. But then he got to thinking. "So.. wait, Akaashi? You were the one to bring me here?"

Nodding and letting out another sigh in the air, Akaashi gave a soft smile to Kuroo. "I mean, the ambulance did, but I'm the one that found you like that. I wasn't just going to leave you there. I couldn't. Speaking of which, I'm still gross, Bo. I think I might go take a shower in your room, as long as that's okay," Akaashi said as he squeezed Bokuto's shoulder again. "I'll be back in like an hour, yeah?" Akaashi said as he leaned down to kiss Bokuto again.

Once the kiss was done, Kuroo sighed gently as Akaashi stood back up. “Thanks for saving me, Akaashi. I appreciate it. I also… Uh… You know, I really want to apologize to you, for how I acted… Alcohol makes me do awful shit…”

Making a bit of a face, Akaashi shrugged. "I know how important you are to Bo, and well... You're important to me too, even if I didn't show it these last five days," Akaashi said.

The thing was, Akaashi and Bokuto really were a cute and good couple. On a normal basis, Kuroo actually liked and approved of Akaashi very heavily. He'd probably do something illegal for Akaashi if it came down to it. But it was just after all of this commotion with Bokuto’s work accident that caused Kuroo to have ill feelings towards the boy. He was sure that it wouldn't take long for Kuroo to come back to being friendly towards Akaashi and for them to go back to being friends, but it would take some time.

Once Akaashi had left, Bokuto smiled after the boy, and it was a precious sight to witness. This whole thing told Kuroo just how in love Koutarou had to be in order to give him a look like that. But then he looked towards Kuroo with eyes that were more serious. A serious Bokuto was never very fun, and it left Kuroo a little nervous about what was to come. As Kuroo bit his lip, Bokuto opened his mouth to speak. "Do you really think it's worth it to stay a drunk idiot? You know, I can just round up people to help sober you up again like I did last time. Kuroo, we literally changed our lives for you. Most of us don't even keep alcohol in our houses, so in case you come visit, there's no temptations around. We didn't have to do this for you, but we did because we care about you."

It was very odd for Kuroo to hear a speech come out of Bokuto's mouth. It wasn't the first time he had heard a speech from Bokuto, but it was never a good thing for Kuroo to have to listen to a disappointed, hurting Bokuto speech. "I... guess not, no. I mean, I was trying to get better with Suga's help. I really was, and he was helping me. But just.. the thought of you being here, and the idea that I wouldn't be able to see you again..."

The tears started to form in Kuroo's eyes, and he had to drop his gaze, because there was no way he wouldn't start crying again if he kept looking at Bokuto. "Yeah, what was it about Suga, anyway? Where did he go to? Akaashi told me about this last night, and he said Suga was helping you and it seemed like you were getting better, but then the progress just stopped? Where did he go to? Why did he stop helping you?" Bokuto asked with a bit of a huff, rolling around in his chair.

This whole thing was a bitter comedy to Kuroo, and he let out a laugh, but there was frustration and anger hidden behind the musical tone. He was never very good at hiding his emotions from Bokuto, but Kuroo almost never had a reason to want to hide them from Bokuto, regardless of the situation. He might get teased relentlessly about all of this at some point, but he knew he had to come clean to Bokuto. "Maybe it was because I was pushing him away..." Kuroo said as he looked down to his hands, sighing. "I didn't realize I was pushing him so far, and I really just... didn't care that I was pushing him away... All I cared about was you. But now that... fuck, now that I know that you're okay? I'm starting to see how terribly I messed up..." Kuroo knew the tears were going to fall soon. It was kind of frustrating to Kuroo that he was still crying about all of this, but it was just another thing that he had fucked up in his life.

Clicking his tongue, Bokuto came closer again while in his wheel chair. "Well of course I'm okay, dummy. It might have seemed like I wasn't going to be at one point, but you had to have known that I was going to pull through this. I pull through everything," Bokuto said with a hearty laugh. But then, Bokuto cleared his throat to say something more serious. "You really did mess up though, didn't you? You would tell me all the time how cute Suga was while he was doing something, you were sad whenever Suga wasn't at big group events, and you would complain about Suga being too smart. So I know you liked him. You must have messed up enough to make Suga want to walk away, because Suga wouldn't usually walk away," Bokuto said with a quirked eyebrow.

This wasn't the guilt he needed to feel. He was starting to feel nauseous because of how guilty this was making him feel, and he wanted to throw himself off of a sky scraper with the way he was feeling about this. "I really did mess up... Want to know the worst part about it?" Kuroo asked as he looked up, rubbing away the water that was draining from his eyes. "Suga wanted me. Like... goddamn, I had it all, and I let Suga walk away from me... Or, well, I pushed him away..." Kuroo said as he couldn't hold back the shaking that was happening in his chest. The whole situation was starting to make Kuroo cry even harder, and he wrapped his arms around his midsection to try to stop himself. "H-he wanted me, and I kept pushing him away because... Damn it! I don't know why I pushed him away..." Kuroo said between cries and sniffles.

Thinking for a minute, Bokuto tapped his chin. "Bro, I don't think this was really your fault, necessarily. I think it was just your emotional state and the fact that you had gotten your hands on alcohol again. If anything, it's my fault for getting into the accident and pushing your emotions so far. I also think that maybe Suga was trying really hard, but he didn't realize how hard this would be for you to go through. Maybe he was also taking on too much, yeah?" Bokuto suggested.

That was a thought that Kuroo hadn’t had, although it was probably because it was a negative thought to have about himself. He didn’t like thinking that he was too much to handle around anyone, even though he was definitely too much to handle when he was on alcohol. When he wasn’t, though, Kuroo really wasn’t too much to handle at all.

This was beyond miserable, and Kuroo wanted to just stop thinking. He wanted to go back to the alcohol and he wanted to... "I-I think I need your help, Bo..." Kuroo whispered as he covered his face. "I j-just wanted… I h-had a thought and I wanted to go back to the alcohol again, but I know I can't... Fuck, why am I like this?" Kuroo asked in a muffled voice, the sound being blocked out by his hands.

When Kuroo felt his bed sag down, and when he uncovered his face to see that Bokuto was trying to climb onto the bed with him, Kuroo moved over enough so Bokuto could get in comfortably. Wasn't this man supposed to be taking things easy? Kuroo didn't need to be the cause of some sort of medical mishap. "B-Bo, what are you..." That was when Bokuto wrapped his arms around Kuroo and pulled him against his strong chest. It was a chest that Kuroo was very familiar with, but not because of anything sexual or romantic. He just loved to cuddle with Bokuto, though, and Bokuto liked it too. Akaashi didn't have an issue with it, so the two boys kept up the cuddling throughout their entire friendship. They knew when Akaashi was in a mood, though, so they never cuddled when Akaashi couldn’t handle seeing it. 

Kuroo started to let out his emotions, and he shook his head so fiercely that he had actually gotten a little dizzy. "A-Akaashi is going to kill me if he sees you..."

"I'll just tell him that I wanted to. I have no boundaries anyway, and I'm dumb enough to pull a stunt like this," Bokuto said as he started to rub Kuroo's back. "You don't need alcohol. You don't need anything other than your healthy self, and your friends and best bro. I think you might also need Suga around, now that I’m thinking about it. What did you do to push him away? How can we fix it?" Bokuto asked as he continued to stroke Kuroo's back. Bokuto was always so thoughtful about things like this. It had to be part of the reason Akaashi was so in love, Kuroo figured.

Thinking for a moment, Kuroo shook his head and he decided that this was not going to be pleasant at all to explain. "I might have... freaked out whenever he tried to make a romantic gesture in public, or... o-or there was this grocery store clerk that... she assumed that he and I were in a relationship, b-but instead of letting it go... I got mad about it..." Kuroo sighed and cried a little more, but Bokuto was shushing Kuroo a bit and trying to get him to calm down.

After a minute or two of Kuroo crying, Bokuto pulled back gently. "But do you want him now? Don't you want him in your life?" Bokuto asked softly.

Kuroo nodded furiously. He didn't realize that subconsciously, his mind was trying to push him away from anything and everything that was different. Suga was different and his alcoholic mind had tried to push Suga away, just because he couldn't differentiate from the good and the bad things when he was trying to sober up. But Suga was a good thing, a very good thing, and it was very disappointing that Suga had walked away from him. "Then we're going to get you sobered up and we're going to get him back."

If Bokuto could make that happen, Kuroo would be forever grateful to the man. He would be forever in Bokuto's debt and he would have to center his wedding with Suga all on Bokuto. That was getting ahead of himself, because he didn't even have Suga back yet.

But if there was one thing Kuroo knew, it was that Bokuto never gave up on anything. If Kuroo had a hope of getting Suga back, he knew that he could count on Bokuto to help him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. This has been such a ride. The ending is finally here, though. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed writing it!

_So, my best bro in the world, now the question becomes simple. We want you to help you, all of us here, so you can go on and live your best life. Don't make us sad for the rest of our lives, Kuroo, by ruining yourself. I know you don't want that, right? So... What do you say, Kuroo? Weill you let us help get you sober?_

\---

The rest of the time in the hospital was dull and caused Kuroo to go just a bit insane. Doctors came by and talked to Kuroo about alcoholism, all things he had heard before. They gave him pamphlets and explained to him about different rehab centers. But that was the thing. Kuroo wasn't going to leave for a rehab center and be away from Bokuto, especially at a time like this. He knew that the crazy man would help him out, and he knew that nobody could to it better than Bokuto. So the doctors were fighting a losing battle by trying to get him into rehab.

At least, nobody could do it better for Kuroo than Bokuto could. No doctor or rehab center for treatment would be able to make Kuroo see just how bad all of this was. They just didn't have the same connection to Kuroo that Bokuto did and they would never get him to see just how bad all of this really was. Not the way Bokuto could, because Bokuto just knew Kuroo and he knew how to make Kuroo tick.

When the time finally came for Kuroo to be released, the doctor who had been treating Kuroo came into Kuroo's room and took a seat, watching as Bokuto and Kuroo played some sort of card game. It was a made up game and the pair of boys were just laughing and throwing cards at one another. But then, the two boys turned towards the doctor and they quieted down. "So, Kuroo, are you sure we can't convince you to go to a rehab facility? We can't convince you to do better for yourself? Are you sure you'll be able to avoid the temptation?"

As Kuroo tried to speak, Bokuto let out a snort and he started to laugh. "If you think I'm going to let this nerd over here get into anymore shit than he's already in, you're crazy. I've got him. You don't have to worry," Bokuto said as he leaned back into his wheelchair. Really, the boy was only using it because the doctors were still worried about him. But Bokuto felt he was ready to get out of the hospital any day now. If only his body thought the same thing, as something new kept turning up in his tests every single time. "Now, the sooner you guys get me out of here, the sooner I can get to whipping his ass into shape."

That comment didn't seem to sit well with the doctor, but Kuroo let out a laugh at the comment. "Are you sure Akaashi is going to be okay with that? He's been tense about your recovery, and you know how difficult I was to get sobered up last time," Kuroo said with a bit of a smile on his lips.

It really wasn't a conversation the doctor needed to be around for, so he stood up and went towards the door. "I will get your discharge papers in order and you will be ready to get out of here. Bokuto, your tests came back this morning and they seem to be in order, so you might be getting out of here tomorrow or the day after. I'll see you boys soon," the doctor said before he left.

Looking at one another, they seemed to brighten up brilliantly and their eyes were sparkling, as if they were children on Christmas day, staring at their stacks of gifts under a Christmas tree. This news of Bokuto potentially being able to be released soon had really set Kuroo's mood to good.

Once they sighed in content, Bokuto eyed Kuroo for a moment. "You're going to stay at my place until I'm actually released. I'll tell Keiji about it and he will be watching you for me, so no funny shit," Bokuto said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

That was actually exactly what Kuroo needed to hear. He needed to hear that someone was going to take care of him, that he really was going to make it out of this alive. Kuroo wouldn't doubt Bokuto for a second, nor would he question what he did or asked of Kuroo, simply because he wanted to do this for Bokuto.

Now, that didn't mean that the temptation of the alcohol wasn't there. That didn't mean that all temptation was gone and that he still didn't want the poisonous liquid. But the reason for wanting the alcohol had disappeared. The reason for needing it in his life was no longer something valid, because the reason he went back to it in the first place had disappeared. Bokuto was back with him, and Bokuto was going to stay.

"Alright, I'll have to pack a bag though. I hope Akaashi isn't as much of a hard ass as you are," Kuroo said with a teasing grunt, and it made Bokuto smile.

Letting out another loud and boisterous laugh, Bokuto smiled and shook his head. "Oh, he's more of a hard ass than I could ever be. So you better be prepared. You should know this by now, too. I'm surprised you don't know it, really."

Sighing, Kuroo internally felt his heart swell and it filled him with joy to know that Bokuto was getting a laugh out of all of this. Even though it was terrible for Kuroo to go back to alcohol and get himself in this mess in the first place, and it wasn't the best way to bring a smile to Bokuto's face, Kuroo was just glad that through his screw up, it made Bokuto happy to help him. That was what a bro was supposed to do. This was what a bro was meant to do and it was a good thing that the pair had such a strong relationship. They'd be lost without it.

\---

A few hours after Kuroo had been released, Akaashi made an appearance and waved to Kuroo with a yawn while Kuroo sat next to Bokuto in his room. The pair of boys were just chilling in the room while watching some ridiculous television drama. They really didn't get the show, but it was just something to watch. Akaashi came further into the room and pressed a gentle kiss to Bokuto's head, right in the area they had to shave for the surgery. "I'm going to need a wig or something," Bokuto said with a frown.

Smirking just a bit, Kuroo looked over to Bokuto. "It will grow back, bro. We can get you one of those sick fedoras until then, though," Kuroo said as he looked back to the television while Bokuto and Akaashi shared a loving kiss. "Did Bokuto tell you that-"

"You're released and he'll be released in a couple of days? And that you're forbidden from being alone and he's forcing you to stay at our house? Yes, he filled me in while you were sighing your release papers." Akaashi said with a bit of a smirk as Kuroo sat there, just about dumbfounded at the entire thing that Akaashi had just said. He knew that Akaashi and Bokuto told each other everything, but he didn't realize that Bokuto had done so that quickly. Kuroo really must have lost track of time while he was signing his paperwork. "Are you going to be okay alone though? While I take Kuroo to clean up the mess in his apartment and to pack a bag?" Akaashi asked to Bokuto.

The man looked at Akaashi with a very surprised look. "Of course I'll be okay! You know who you're talking to here, right?" Bokuto said with a smile. The two of them kissed again and Akaashi pulled away to glance at Kuroo.

It took a moment before he said anything, but Akaashi cleared his throat. "Are you okay if we stay for a little longer, Kuroo? I just want to get as much time with him before we head out and before I have to work tomorrow," he said.

That was something that had surprised Kuroo, honestly. Akaashi had told work he would be back, and it had been his first day back since the accident had taken place. Akaashi was a bit exhausted from the whole thing, but it was better than being exhausted over not sleeping because Bokuto was hurt. It was a different exhausted that he would take any day of the week, especially if he got to keep kissing Bokuto. "Yeah, love on your man a little longer. I'm going to go get some food in the cafeteria," Kuroo had said as he stood up.

Honestly, that was all he did and he wouldn't dare go anywhere else, nor could he really go anywhere without getting a taxi or something of that sort, since he didn't drive himself to the hospital while he was passed out. When he came back to the room, Akaashi was curled onto Bokuto's bed, his head on Bokuto's shoulder. "It's beating faster now. What does that mean?" Akaashi asked as he lifted his head up to look at Bokuto, who had a smile on his face.

Kuroo didn't realize that he had missed witnessing these two boys be cute with each other. He didn't realize he missed seeing the love in their eyes for one another, and it made him happy to see. But then it had brought a different thought to his mind, and he frowned a bit, looking down. This was the same look that Suga had been giving him. It was the same treatment that Suga had been giving to him, but he had fucked it up on such a massive level. What was Kuroo going to do about Suga? What was he going to do about missing him and repairing at least their friendship, if not their entire relationship and go back to being more than just friends?

As Kuroo took a seat, Bokuto looked over and smiled in surprise, until the smile had dropped and he had tilted his head just a bit. "Bro, what's up? You okay?" Bokuto asked as Akaashi slowly sat up, pulling himself away from Bokuto. Akaashi wasn't as close to Kuroo, but it still worried him when Kuroo was upset or not himself. It worried him because it worried Bokuto, and Akaashi didn't ever want Bokuto to worry. It would never happen that Bokuto was never worried, but Akaashi wouldn't just stop his worrying when Bokuto was worried himself.

Shrugging had happened, and Kuroo hadn't met either of their eyes, because he could feel the pair of them staring into his skull, trying to pick away at what was there and what he was thinking about. Finally, though, Kuroo had looked up and opened his mouth to speak. "How am I going to do this without Suga? And I pushed him away so hard, too. He probably hates me..." Kuroo had said as he looked down, shaking his head.

In the process, Akaashi had stood up and he came over to Kuroo's chair and he put a hand on Kuroo's shoulder. "Hey, we're not going to let you keep feeling this way. Suga will come around, I know it. Once he sees that you're better and you are fighting against your alcoholism, he will probably want you back. He really does like you and care about you, so you just have to give him time. He's not like the rest of us crazy idiots. He actually has a heart and soul," Akaashi said.

Smiling a bit, Kuroo nodded. All he could think was that Suga really did have a soul and a heart. Kuroo knew that and he knew that there had to be a way to fix this. Suga wanted him, didn't he? So there had to be a chance of Kuroo getting the boy back. There had to be a way to fix all of this. Kuroo couldn't be convinced otherwise now. If Akaashi and Bokuto were optimistic about this whole thing, he would have to have just a little bit of faith.

The two boys were in Bokuto's room for probably another two hours before a nurse came by and had said that visiting hours were over. They never really complained about Akaashi being there and sticking around, but they would care if it was more than Akaashi. But Akaashi couldn't stay tonight, simply because of Kuroo.

Looking away and giving Akaashi and Bokuto another moment to make out and love on one another, Akaashi finally pulled away. "I love you so much..." Kuroo heard Akaashi say. Kuroo could really feel that, and he knew that the two boys loved each other more than anything in the world.

After a while though, they had finally said their goodbyes and Akaashi had promised to text Bokuto when he was home safely. As the two boys left, Akaashi took a breath and he looked at Kuroo. "So... I have to say something," Akaashi said as they started to walk out of the hospital wing that Bokuto was in.

This wasn't going to be a very pleasant talk and Kuroo could feel it. But he knew that Akaashi was never very hesitant about speaking, so this had to be something serious. "Okay, then shoot," Kuroo had said, prompting Akaashi to speak.

Taking another breath as they continued to walk towards the hospital exit, the two boys looked at one another carefully. "I have to apologize... I want you to know just how sorry I am about all of this. It's not that... It wasn't that I didn't care, but I just didn't care as much as I cared about Koutarou..." Hearing that, Kuroo couldn't even coo about how cute it was to hear Akaashi use Bokuto's given name. Generally, Kuroo would take the time to smile about their relationship, but not with the topic of conversation right now.

Cringing a bit, Kuroo sighed and he slowed down his walking. "I mean, sure, I want to be mad at you about all of this, but I know how much Bokuto means to you. I really can't blame you I guess. He means the world to me, too. It's different, but kind of the same. So even though... even though it hurt that you wouldn't let me see him, me going back to alcohol wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault that I went out and got drunk that night, and you only pushed me on accident to continue it, you didn't actually encourage the gross habit any more than that."

This was definitely a very adult thing for Kuroo to say, and it was very mature of Kuroo to be thinking that way. He really didn't blame Akaashi, though, so he wanted Akaashi to know that he didn't hold anything over his head and he would never actually blame the boy for any of this. He had himself to blame and himself only. Sure, there was something in him that caused him to feel a draw to the alcohol, but he should have tried to control it just a little better. "Thank you, Kuroo. I just... I wanted to get that off my chest. So are we good?" Akaashi asked as he pulled his keys out of his pocket and unlocked his car.

As the two boys got into the car, Kuroo sat back and he nodded afterwards. "Yeah, we're good. We're more than good. You care about my best bro, so I really should be thanking you for caring about him so much. I'm the one that screwed up massively," Kuroo had said and he smiled a bit to Akaashi, even if it was a bit sad.

Even though it was a rather uncomfortable conversation, the two had gotten through it without shedding any tears. The next thing they knew, they were on the road and on the way to Kuroo's apartment.

As they arrived to the apartment, Akaashi reminded Kuroo about what they were here to do, and Kuroo didn't think it could possibly be that bad. But Akaashi wasn't kidding when he said that Kuroo had a mess to clean up. It smelled rancid in the apartment when they opened the door and stepped inside. "I think it might just be easier to move..." Kuroo said with an upturned nose. Akaashi pulled the mask over his face. It was a scented mask too, so it blocked out the smell and gave him something better to smell.

Hanging one over to Kuroo, Akaashi went to the table and took a seat. "I had to deal with it when I found you, so you'll have to deal with it now. I'm not going to be responsible for cleaning this mess up," Akaashi said. It was completely fair, and though it might have been a little harsh, Kuroo knew that he would have to do this alone. It was only right.

Looking around at the dried up sick that had been on the kitchen floor, he frowned a bit as he put the mask over his ears and covered his nose. It was a scented mask too, which he knew that Akaashi had created on his own. He didn't know if anyone actually sold scented masks, but he had a feeling that they didn't. He also had a feeling that this might not be the best for their health, but as long as it made things smell better as he cleaned, Kuroo didn't care.

Akaashi didn't lift a finger to help Kuroo when he was cleaning up the dried puke on the floor, but Kuroo really couldn't blame the boy. Kuroo finished with that, and he stood up, tossing away the scrubbing materials and cleaning up a little more. But that was when he saw the safe on the counter, and Kuroo froze up just a little. Suga had bought the thing, and it was difficult to see again. He walked towards it and he looked at the items in the box, slowly pulling them out.

"What's that?" Akaashi asked, and Kuroo turned around to see that Akaashi was standing behind him, looking curiously at the box on the counter. "Oh, it's a safe box," Akaashi said as if it wasn't a big deal. It really was a big deal, but the other didn't realize it.

Taking a breath, Kuroo nodded and continued to look at the box. "Suga had uh... He bought it to keep the dangerous things out of my reach. He didn't want me to have access to any of it, because he thought I would hurt myself..." Kuroo said as he bit his lip, trying to do his best to handle himself through all of this. "That was where he put the bottle of scotch that I drank to get me into the hospital..." Kuroo said, wincing a bit.

Letting out a sound of understanding, Akaashi put his hand on Kuroo's arm. "He was really good for you. All we have to do now is get him back, yeah? We'll help you out with that," Akaashi said. There was a small smile on his face, and Kuroo felt safe with that smile. It was a smile that he knew he could trust, and he had really only seen the smile on a few occasions. It really did mean something, and Kuroo knew that.

Nodding eventually, Kuroo turned back to the box and closed it up, knowing that it was empty and he didn't need it anymore. He didn't need to lock anything up in it anymore, just like he didn't need to lock up his feeling for Suga any longer. Suga would be his and Suga would get to know just how Kuroo felt about him now. He wouldn't have it any other way, and he knew that neither Bokuto nor Akaashi would stop until the two of them talked about all of this. Kuroo trusted these two boys.

After Kuroo had finished with the kitchen, he looked around his apartment. "You don't have any alcohol in here, do you? Because if you do, I'm going to confiscate it and getting rid of it," Akaashi said as a bit of a warning. This was exactly what Kuroo had needed. He knew that Suga had tried to do all of this, but Kuroo was in a very bad place when Suga had tried, so he really just wouldn't accept the help and he couldn't see how much he had needed it.

Thinking for a moment, Kuroo shook his head. "Not that I know of anyway. I don't remember having more in here. I think Suga took it all away, and the only bottle was in the safe here. That was my fault, because I put up a fight with Suga and he wanted to take it, but I wouldn't let him," Kuroo had said with a wince.

Humming a bit, Akaashi rose an eyebrow. "If you fight me on any of this, I'm going to put you in the hospital myself. I know Bo has my back on all of this too, so there's no use in fighting against me," Akaashi said. As Kuroo let out a bit of a defeated laugh, he smiled as he looked at Akaashi. There was no way he would try to fight against Akaashi with any of this. "If you're lying to me, too, I'm going to drag you right back to see Bokuto and you're going to have to beg him for forgiveness."

As Kuroo thought, he shook his head just a little more. "No, I'm nearly positive that there's no other alcohol in my apartment." This was turning out to be a little more serious that Kuroo had originally intended, but he knew that he had to try. He knew that he had to do his best to sober up, if only for Suga and himself.

"Okay then. Let's get you packed up and we can go back to my place. I have to text Bo when I get there. He's worried that we're going to get into an accident or something," Akaashi had said with a sigh. "I love him, but he's so worried about me now that he's been in an accident. Maybe just a little too worried," Akaashi said.

Ticking his tongue, Kuroo shook his head. "He just loves you too. Cut him some slack," he said with a frown. Akaashi sighed and nodded, looking down towards the clean floor.

Kuroo had gone to pack up a bag and he came back, slinging the bag over his shoulder. As he looked around for his keys so he could take his own car to get to Akaashi's and Bokuto's place, Akaashi made a face. "What are you looking for?"

"My keys," Kuroo said with a grunt.

"You're not driving anyway. Why are you looking for your keys?" Akaashi asked.

That was a bit of a surprise to Kuroo and he looked back to Akaashi with a frown. "Why am I not driving? This isn't because of what Bokuto said or anything, is it? If it is, you don't have to worry about my stupid ass doing anything," Kuroo said.

Ticking his tongue, Akaashi shook his head. "I said you're not driving. Come on, go get in my car. You'll be okay for another few days without access to your car," Akaashi said as he looked Kuroo over just a bit.

Taking a moment and looking at the way Akaashi held his hand over his pocket, Kuroo had a feeling that Akaashi actually had Kuroo's keys and was holding them hostage. "Did Bokuto tell you to do this, or are you just being that mean?" Kuroo asked as he looked Akaashi over once more.

Laughing a little and turning towards the door, Akaashi shrugged. "I guess you'll never know. Now come on, I want to sleep before I have to get up early and get your ass back to the hospital so Bokuto can watch you and I can go to work," Akaashi said.

A sigh of defeat had left Kuroo's lips, but he knew that this was really just for his own good. He knew that Akaashi and Bokuto cared about him, so this was the only reason they were going this. He also knew that he really needed this if he wanted to sober up and be a normal human being again.

Once the pair of boys left, Akaashi told Kuroo to wait outside and he needed to go check on some things before letting Kuroo inside the house. Kuroo just figured that Akaashi was looking to see that all of the kinky sex machines were put away, but he didn't realize that he was actually checking to make sure that he didn't have any alcohol around for Kuroo to see. He didn't want to push the boy over the edge and he certainly didn't want to cause Bokuto to have some sort of panic attack about it later. Usually, the two boys didn't keep alcohol in the house, but there were times that they did have it there.

When Akaashi came back and motioned for Kuroo to come inside, he smirked and he walked up the steps, going towards the door and kicking off his shoes. "Hide all the sex toys?" Kuroo asked as he held back his snort, and Akaashi scoffed as he shook his head.

Shoving Kuroo a bit, Akaashi rolled his eyes. "No, you ass, I wasn't looking for sex toys to hide. I wouldn't bother hiding those on you, since you're a grown-ass man and you know that Bokuto and I have sex," Akaashi said. Kuroo let out a hearty laugh and he set his bag down on the ground, letting out a bit of a yawn. It was a good thing that Kuroo didn't ask what Akaashi was doing, honestly, because he wouldn't have been able to lie to Kuroo at the moment, since he already told Kuroo that he wouldn't hide the sex toys on him.

It didn't take long for the pair of boys to lounge around in the living room. Akaashi sent a message to Bokuto to tell him that he had gotten home safely, and Bokuto responded with a voice message. It was sickly cute with how Bokuto had said that he loved Akaashi, and Kuroo felt his heart warm at how close the two of them were.

It wasn't long though that the conversation had turned serious. Akaashi had watched the way Kuroo tried to distract himself with an app, but he could see that it really didn't seem to be working. "So, while this whole thing with Bokuto was going on, that's when you and Suga started to be more than friends?" Akaashi asked.

The face that Kuroo made as he dropped his phone on his lap was one of shock and pure surprise. It took him a moment to answer, but eventually he let out a sigh and he nodded. Kuroo just wasn't anticipating Suga to be brought up in conversation again. "Yeah. I mean... weren't you the one to ask him to look after me?"

A moment passed before Akaashi shrugged. "I may have, I may not have. Maybe I did ask him to keep an eye on you at one point, but I don't remember exactly. I think he came to you on his own, really," Akaashi said as he pulled his legs up onto the couch, folding them to one side. "How do you feel about him, though? Do you have feelings for him? Are you actually interested in him?" Akaashi asked, trying to get in deeper to know how Kuroo was going about all of this.

As Kuroo took a breath, he really had to think about all of this. How did he actually feel about Suga? How did he want to approach this whole thing? "Akaashi, I don't know... I mean, I guess I thought I had feelings for him, but like... at the same time, I just... I don't know how different it really is because my feelings were different with Bokuto being in the hospital and I really wasn't thinking straight... This is such a mess..." Kuroo said as he ran a hand over his face.

Humming and taking it all in, Akaashi thought that maybe Kuroo needed to get sobered up completely and have his intervention with Bokuto before he really made any decisions about Suga. "It may be a mess, but once you work through it, I think it might turn into something really great for you. It might be a relationship, or it might just be a really close friendship. Although, I don't think anything could be as sickeningly close as your friendship with Bokuto," Akaashi said as he made a face, thinking about all of the shit the pair had gotten into together over the years.

Smiling at the thought, Kuroo let out a bit of a laugh. "No one can be as close as Bokuto and I. We won't allow it," Kuroo said as he smirked and looked at Akaashi, who had groaned and put his head in his palm, shaking it from side to side.

"Yeah, you two keep on reminding me," Akaashi said with a stressed tone to his voice. "As long as I don't catch you two making out again, because that was a line that I never wanted crossed," Akaashi said as he rose an eyebrow and looked at Kuroo.

Another snort had left Kuroo's lips and he couldn't hold back his snickering chuckle. "Hey, he was just showing me how you made out with him on Valentine's Day. It didn't mean anything," Kuroo said as he continued to laugh.

Sighing once again, Akaashi just sat back against the couch. He knew he wasn't going to win this fight. "I do gotta say, though, you must be a really good kisser to take Bokuto's breath away like that. He said he couldn't replicate it. And he says that you've only gotten better. So props, Akaashi," Kuroo had said with a genuine smile.

Moments like this came for the two boys and it was a little awkward for everyone involved, but they had just learned to live with it at this rate. "Thanks, I guess. But we're still on you and Suga. If you had the chance again, would you get back together with Suga?" Akaashi asked, trying to desperately change the subject off of his kissing ability.

Thinking for a moment, Kuroo bit his lip just a little. "You know... I really think I would. And I don't think I'd try to pull away, either. I just feel like Suga and I are a really good fit..." Kuroo said as he looked back down to his phone. His thumb opened up his contact list and he scrolled down to find Suga's name and number, debating on texting him, or just calling him up. But then, another dangerous thought had hit Kuroo's mind and he cringed a bit. "He doesn't know that I've been to the hospital yet..." Kuroo said. "About my alcoholism I mean..."

"Nah, but does he really need to know? Or do you just want him to know so you can get Suga to feel bad for you? Don't you want to win him over fairly and not guilt him into coming back?" Akaashi had said, and the two boys looked at one another. Kuroo had rose an eyebrow and Akaashi did the same in return, as if the two of them were challenging one another.

Backing down, Kuroo's head dropped. "I guess you're right. I can tell him after we've had our first few dates..." Kuroo had said as he taken a breath. "I definitely don't want to guilt him into any of this... I wouldn't want him to be with me for the wrong reasons, I just hope he really wants me back," Kuroo had said as he closed his eyes.

Taking another breath, Akaashi smiled. "He will, but... Good. Alright, I'm going to get to bed. You know where the guest room is, as well as everything else," Akaashi said as he stood up and he smiled towards the door. "Goodnight, Kuroo. Sleep well and sweet dreams. I'll wake you when I need to get ready to go for work, just so you can get dressed to go to the hospital with Bokuto."

That really didn't sound too bad, but when Akaashi had woken Kuroo up at five in the morning, he rolled over and desperately did not want to get out of bed. Eventually though, the two boys got around and they were there at the hospital right at the start of visiting hours. Akaashi really couldn't stay for long, but that didn't mean that the two boys didn't share a few sleepy, loving kisses.

Hours went on and Bokuto was informed that he would be able to go home at the end of the day, so that was when Bokuto texted Akaashi with the news. He would have called, but Akaashi was at work. So the cheering would have to happen through text messaging. The two boys would have to wait for Akaashi to come back with clothing for Bokuto once Akaashi was actually out of work, but they were more than thrilled that Bokuto would get to go home.

The hospital filled Akaashi in on all of the things he needed to keep an eye on and what Bokuto shouldn't do, but the boys were on their way in no time. Akaashi had to tell Bokuto to take it easy and let Akaashi help him with things, but Akaashi knew that was a losing fight anyway.

Then, once Bokuto was home, he started right in on Kuroo and started to pick apart at his brain to try to figure out the best way to keep Kuroo off of the alcohol. The only ways that Bokuto was seeing clearly all had to do with Suga, which was when Bokuto had asked Kuroo about Suga and how he felt about the boy right then. After that, Bokuto started to pick apart at Kuroo's brain about how to keep Suga around, because there was no way that he would be able to keep Suga around if he was idiotic and pushed him too far again.

The two boys were at this whole intervention thing for six days, and it actually really helped both of them. It helped Kuroo for the very obvious reasons, but for Bokuto, the boy always needed to be on the go or he needed to be focused on something else entirely. So this game was helping Bokuto's mind to focus on Kuroo.

Eventually, Bokuto had a feeling that Kuroo was ready to go on his own. He had a feeling that he would want to kill someone if he had to stay with Bokuto and Akaashi any longer. But really, it was just a feeling of being locked away in their house without having anyone there to be his own. He was going stir crazy, and that was when Akaashi had driven Kuroo and Bokuto back to Kuroo's apartment and they let the pair just sit there and discuss plans of how to get Suga back around.

The two discussed multiple tactics, but they did finally decide on one to get Suga's attention and get a good response from him. It wasn't going to happen for a couple of days, but Kuroo was ready. Kuroo was more than ready to get his life back in order.

It wasn't going to be easy, but hopefully it would be worth it.

\---

It was a very early Wednesday morning, and Suga yawned as he turned off his alarm and he groaned at the thought of having to go to work all alone. It had been the same routine for the last couple of weeks for him. While it had been getting easier, it still just didn't feel right. Suga felt like he was missing something, or more specifically, he was missing someone.

Pushing himself out of the bed, he frowned to think that Kuroo's sleeping form wasn't next to him. It hurt that he wasn't still with Kuroo, but his mind was attacking him right now. Why did he miss Kuroo when they had only been together for less than a week? Sure, it all moved very fast and Suga was forcing his own mind and wants onto the situation, but it didn't stop Suga from wanting this thing with Kuroo to continue. It didn't stop him from longing to hold onto Kuroo and watch him through life. But why did he miss Kuroo when Kuroo didn't seem to want him around anyway?

Going through the motions, Suga got himself ready for work in about the same time he always got himself ready for work. So he sat in one of his dining room chairs as he waited for time to pass, just so he could leave for work. That was when he looked out the window and he saw just how overcast it was. It had been dreary outside for nearly two weeks now, with only random sunshine pushing through the thick clouds at rare times. Hopefully today, the storm would finally hit and it would be over.

Hopefully, the storm would hit and Suga could get over his feelings for Kuroo. If only that was the way things worked. It definitely wasn't likely, though.

Finally, enough time had passed and Suga stood himself up, going for the door and completely forgetting to grab his umbrella. If it rained on him, it rained on him, and he wasn't too terribly concerned. He knew he had a change of clothing in his office, so if it came to it, he could always just change his clothes. Not that he thought he was going to have a reason to go outside in the rain, but he liked to be prepared. Anything could happen at any time. He might have to run outside to go be with a child, or he might have to go outside to chase after a parent that was mistreating their offspring. Either way, Suga never knew what was going to happen.

As the boy made his way to work, it had started to sprinkle and mist outside, so he had a feeling that the storming rain was going to start sometime soon.

At work, the boy had a pretty slow day. There was only one new case that came across his desk, and it was a pretty easy one. Suga had just called to confirm the appointment with the people listed in the file, and they said they would be there tomorrow. Suga loved being a social worker, as he loved to help people and he loved when their lives became full and worthwhile again.

When the rain had started to hit, it made Suga shiver a bit. So he reached for the jacket around his chair and he pulled it over him. It was more of a sweater, but it definitely kept him warm.

Such a boring day it seemed it was going to be, but Suga didn't usually mind having an easy day. He would definitely like to keep himself busy in a time like this, just because he didn't want his mind to plague him with thoughts of Kuroo again. But right now, Suga wasn't going to let the negative thoughts of him leaving Kuroo start attacking his mind. He couldn't, not while he was at work.

When the door opened to the office building, Suga peered over to see one of his coworkers standing there, and she seemed to be rather frustrated. Maybe it was just because she had gotten wet? "The nerve... It's pouring outside and that guy just..." Suga heard her say, and it caused him to raise an eyebrow. "Oh, Suga! Just the man I wanted to talk to. There's a man who is standing out there, calling your name and he grabbed me, held me in the rain, and asked me to come get you. So go have fun with that," she said.

There was someone outside for Suga? Why didn't he just come inside? Who was it? Suga's mind twisted into confusion quickly and he was really just lost about who it could be. Who would be dumb enough to stand in the pouring rain like this?

Whoever it was, Suga was bound and determined to find out. So he went to the door and pushed it open, standing under the overhang that their office building had. It was small, but enough to keep the rain from hitting him or splashing him.

Once the door was closed, Suga surveyed around a little, until his eyes caught onto a figure that had been standing in the rain and a little further on the side walk. That was when his eyes flashed wide while his heart started to beat faster and his breath caught in his throat. Not today. His mind was just playing tricks on him, wasn't it? That couldn't be who he thought it was. Could that really be-

"Suga!" Kuroo called out, over the heavy sounds that the rain was making against the concrete and pavement. "Suga, I need to talk to you!" Kuroo said, trying to wave Suga closer.

There was no way that Suga was going out into that rain though, and he wondered why Kuroo thought he was going to step into it. "Are you crazy? You come here! We can talk inside! You are soaked, Kuroo!" Suga called out. Kuroo's name tasted sour on his tongue, and he wanted more than anything for that sour taste to just disappear and be replaced with a sweet and appetizing flavor.

That was when Kuroo shook his head and started to bounce on his toes. "No, you have to come here! Suga, please! I am getting soaked and this isn't fun!" Kuroo shouted and he brought his one arm up to rub at his other arm. The other hand was holding a bag and there was something in the bag, but it was out of Suga's mind pretty quickly. He was worried about Kuroo getting sick in this rain.

So what did Suga do? He obliged to Kuroo's wishes and he ran out into the rain to hopefully bring him out of the rain quickly. He was just grateful that he had another outfit at his desk. "What did you want to talk about?" Suga asked over the rain. He kept his distance a little, because Suga didn't know just how close the other boy was comfortable with at the moment.

This seemed to be a very difficult thing for Kuroo to speak out about, because he was opening his mouth and then closing it again. Really, it was much safer for the two boys to do this inside, but it was just something that Suga would have to deal with. If they got sick, they got sick. "I wanted to talk about us," Kuroo finally said.

The rain was gluing Kuroo's hair to his head, and Suga was always under the impression that nothing could control the bedhead that the boy would always get and have after sleeping. But the hair was glued to Kuroo's head at the moment. That told Suga that anything was possible, and anything could happen. “About us? I didn’t think there was an 'us',” Suga said over the thudding of the rain. He could feel a shiver happening inside him, although he wasn’t sure whether the shiver was from the rain, or from what was happening right in front of him. It was possible that it was both, but Suga was leaning towards the conversation they were having.

Kuroo’s dark eyes met Suga’s light hazel eyes, and they stared into one another’s souls it seemed. Neither boy cared at the moment what was happening in the world around them, and each boy was just focused in on one another. They wanted to see each other and they wanted to feel what the other was feeling.

Right then though, Kuroo took a breath and he looked around the sidewalk. There were a few people around them, walking with umbrellas and they were staring at the two boys that were stupidly standing in the rain. "Ah, fuck it," Kuroo had said. Reaching his free hand up to Suga's cheek, Kuroo moved his face in quickly and he pressed his lips against Suga's lips in a very firm manner, as if this was something that he had wanted, and as if this was something that Kuroo had thought about doing for quite some time.

It did take Suga a moment when he felt Kuroo's lips against his, as his eyes went wide when it happened. But slowly, Suga's eyes closed and he melted into the kiss, bringing his own hands up to Kuroo's face. The two boys kissed like that, in the rain, holding onto one another's faces, and they didn't pull away for quite some time. Maybe it was just the rain and the craziness of everything happening in that moment, but Suga could have sworn there was a delicious, warming spark between them as they kissed. Eventually, Suga had pulled back and he looked up to Kuroo, his eyes were shining with tears. "I'm confused..." Suga said after he pulled away.

When Kuroo looked down to Suga, he licked his lips and he really didn't look like he was able to speak. But he forced himself to do so anyway. "I was an idiot, Suga," Kuroo said over the pounding rain. "I let Bokuto's injury get the better of me and it was screwing with me, making me feel certain things that weren't how I really felt. But I do want you in my life and I really do want you to be mine, as long as you want me to be yours. Please forgive me for being an idiot..."

The last line was softer, and Kuroo had dropped his eyes down and away from Suga. Suga, on the other hand, had gasped and kept looking at the man in front of him. But he froze once again at the thought of everything Kuroo had just said. Was it possible for the boy to change? Was it possible that Kuroo actually did want this? The entire prospect of Kuroo wanting him had sent Suga's mind into a frenzy for a moment, and he blinked just a little at Kuroo, who was just looking down at the dark sidewalk at this point. "You... You want me? You actually want to date me...?" Suga asked, his voice starting to squeak.

It took Kuroo a moment, but he finally nodded and he looked Suga in the eyes, which had shining white corners, and Kuroo was a bit worried that Suga would start to bawl right then and there. "Yeah... I was dumb, and I wasn't thinking what I actually wanted. But now that... now that you're gone, I realize you're the piece I'm missing... I realize that I don't want to go through life without you in it, so... Could we maybe start this all over? Could I take you out on an actual date?"

Eyes started to widen and Suga had wrapped his arms around himself. As much as Suga wanted to say yes, there were some things to consider. "If... I agree to this, are you going to push me away again? Are you going to fight me every step of the way through this?" Suga had to be skeptical and he had to think about this carefully. There was no way that Suga was going to just jump right back in after everything that had happened.

"If you agree to this, I will respect you and work with you as a couple to solve issues... And I will put more effort into showing you to the world, just to show just how great of a partner I have. I won't be ashamed, and I certainly won't push you away when we are in public," Kuroo murmured as he stepped a little closer to Suga,

Right then, the rain had started to let up. It wasn't pouring anymore, only a light drizzle. Both boys were thankful for that. "Before I agree to anything... you have to take me on a date," Suga said. A small smile crossed his face.

It took Kuroo a moment to realize what was going on, but he didn't mind at all. His heart started to race and he felt a brilliant smile start to appear on his cheeks. "So you're willing to try?" Kuroo said. He realized he was still speaking loud, but the rain had all about stopped. The sun was actually starting to appear.

Shrugging, Suga looked away, as if he was plotting something. "We'll see after you take me on a date," Suga said, but he couldn't help the grin that was happening on his cheeks. "I really should get back to work now."

Nodding eagerly, Kuroo bent down to kiss Suga's cheek, before he gasped. "Oh! These are for you!" Kuroo said. He reached into the bag he was holding and he produced a very stunning bouquet of flowers. That action brought more tears to Suga's eyes and he reached to take the flowers, holding them and smelling them as he brought them close to his face.

The smell was beautiful and it made Suga smile. When he took the flowers, he looked back to Kuroo and he very quickly wrapped Kuroo up in a hug. It was a surprise hug, but very welcomed as the boys pressed their drenched bodies together. When they pulled back, Suga didn't take his hand off of Kuroo's side and he smiled at the flowers, holding them lower. "I'm sorry for getting you all wet. It looks good on you though, the whole 'wet look' thing," Kuroo said with a sheepish smile.

Letting out a chuckle, Suga shook his head. "It's all good. I'll text you when I'm gone, okay?" Suga said as he pulled away from Kuroo and slowly started to back into the door. He waved a goodbye, and the smile never left their faces for the remainder of the day.

It finally happened. It was a struggle, and the two boys fought the entire time they got there, but now Kuroo and Suga were officially together. Sure, it took Kuroo a couple drunk nights and to get alcohol poisoning for it to happen, and it took Suga pulling away completely for it to all go down, but Suga and Kuroo had finally made it happen. Regardless of how hard it had to be, they got to the end they wanted to get to. Hopefully, the two boys would continue to go upward from here. They didn't know what was next, but they were eager to find out. They wanted to know what was in store for them, outside of the misery of alcohol addiction. Whatever it was, they were sure it was going to be better.

Whatever it turned out to be, the two boys would be there for one another.


End file.
